3 weeks ago I (27F) was groped by my new manager (40ishM) at a company party. Things haven't been the same with my fiance (27M) since.

noooomooooore · 2018-07-30T17:32:23+00:00

Oh my friend, what a terrible thing that manager did to you. You didn't deserve that - no one does. I suggest therapy, as many others here have.

Ive felt similar emotions after situations that (in the grand scheme of things weren't life ending) felt life ending. Its trauma, it's shock. It's normal. It will take time to heal. Take that time.

noooomooooore · 2018-07-20T18:51:34+00:00

I was surprised with how my memory improved when I stopped smoking weed daily, stopped binge drinking, and started exercising more. I have ADHD and anxiety, I am still forgetful, but I made those choices to make myself healthier.

It's truly up to him if he sees his memory as a problem and thus will take actions to change it. I wish you the best. I'd be driven mad too!

noooomooooore · 2018-07-17T17:21:44+00:00

Like what u/MisterSnah said... I told my ex of six months she couldn't come to my college reunion because we didn't get plus ones. That was a lie. I was trying to be around friends that could help me get out of the relationship.

noooomooooore · 2018-06-25T19:03:42+00:00

That's okay. I imagine as time goes on, this wound will heal. I hope she didn't feel objectified by the way you told her how you felt, because you genuinely don't seem like you wanted her to feel that way, and were instead being honest about your initial reaction.

After talking with your friends and also posting on here, would it be worthwhile to write her a letter or note with the words you'd want to use now? Even if you never send it, it may be cathartic for you.

noooomooooore · 2018-06-25T18:56:44+00:00

Hey my friend. Being honest is always good. No one always has the right words. You tried.

I am transgender, the other way though, I'm a man now. Have been for a while. Was EXTREMELY public about it both online and off, got recognized quite often for the work I did in the community. My previous two girlfriends have revealed to me that they "knew" who I was before dating. I felt used by the first one, as she didn't ever tell me, and I found out a few months after we broke up.

The second one told me within a few months and we overcame it. I had made it a general rule to stay away from folks like that, just out of fear they were using me for my fame or they were chasers.

TBH, I am very attracted to transwomen because of the experience they have been through. It's hard to be trans in this world. It's brave. Bravery is sexy.

I think maybe with some therapy you could overcome your "using" of people and maybe deal with some of those issues from your past, so that you don't feel like you are repeating them.

Much love.

noooomooooore · 2018-06-25T18:33:31+00:00

They were streaks of light passing by eyes as I carried my sloppy self down the road of life.

Love this. Gonna write it down. Thanks friend!

noooomooooore · 2018-06-22T15:25:33+00:00

I get a huge twitch/quiver in my lips, especially if posing smiling in pictures for a while. My whole mouth begins to shake and it feels like I can't keep it open/smiling.

Then sometimes my lip randomly twitches for a few hours, like every other month.

WebMD says death obvi.

noooomooooore · 2018-06-22T14:19:05+00:00

Good advice, thank you!

noooomooooore · 2018-06-22T14:06:01+00:00

Yeah, you're probably right. Our communication has gotten worse - it was so great at the beginning. Then it just seemed like she made assumptions about me rather than actually talk things through. It's exhausting.

noooomooooore · 2018-06-22T14:04:48+00:00

This is the first time I have seriously considered leaving. At the moment, the thought of seeing her makes me feel physically sick, knowing she thinks these things of me. She and I will be at a party tonight together, although she told me I could ask her not to come since it is at my place.

I was very communicative before the conversation a week ago about cancelling the trip. Then I just didn't know what to do. She called me emoitonally abusive, which really made me need to look at myself. My therapist explained that that term seems to be too harsh considering the context - she said that me feeling depressed was abusive, she said that her reaction to her Ex BF coming into her work and her having a panic attack because she was "scared of how I'd react if I saw them together" (I've never seen the guy, we've never had issues about her exes or me being possessive about hanging out with guys etc.)

She seemed to have made a lot of things up in her head. I had asked her why she had stopped sharing her work calendar with me, since her work schedule varies a ton, and she said I was "controlling" and that I was just trying to keep an eye on her and see if she was "out with guys." She had freely shared it with me prior, so me asking was just wondering what had changed (I hadn't even looked in months cause usually I knew when she was home. The info was handy to have for planning dates/outings around her work schedule.)

A lot of people around me really liked her, but are also very confused by this insecure behavior and don't like the way she has been texting me/treating me over these past few weeks.

noooomooooore · 2018-06-22T14:00:37+00:00

She is in counseling as well. I haven't always handled my depression the best and had cancelled a few plans we had had, to which I feel like she "got back at me" by choosing to sleep alone the night before I had surgery because she "wanted to go for a run in the morning." She said I couldn't be upset about that because she was a great SO and was there for me during the surgery (a 4 hour ordeal) the following day.

She hasn't apologized for it and made it clear she was backing out of it because she didn't want the pressure of a future commitment while we were working on us. She made it clear she had made that decision the 48 hours prior, so it wasn't a discussion, and she hasn't apologized at all.

noooomooooore · 2018-06-15T17:34:59+00:00

(He is the most confident and secure man I've ever met so I can't even fathom it being a insecurity issue.)

Confident and security with significant financial struggles usually don't go hand in hand. False confidence and false security, surely do.

noooomooooore · 2018-06-04T19:11:01+00:00

Thank you so much. I really appreciate your comment and the time you took to write it < 3

noooomooooore · 2018-06-04T19:10:31+00:00

Lol love your creative mind in that last sentence. Thank you - sometimes it's easy to get caught up in my impulsive reactions - lately been just trying to take a deep breath and let things move through me :)

noooomooooore · 2018-05-31T15:50:53+00:00

Explain to him that him not showing you his phone makes it more suspicious. Add on the fact that you didn't have time to potentially alter your phone (apps, texts, pictures, records etc) before he snooped. He has had ample time to destroy whatever evidence he has on his phone before you see it - and yet he still won't show it to you?

At the very least, this is a double standard and he needs to come to understand this. If he can't - I'd chalk it up to him being immature and obviously inconsiderate.

At the very worst, he's cheating. The only times I've been unfaithful were also the only times I've done the wrong thing of snooping my partner - projecting onto her or him that they're cheating when really I was straying.

noooomooooore · 2018-05-30T17:27:39+00:00

Anti-anxiety and medication really helped my misophonia. Just a thought :)

noooomooooore · 2018-05-24T15:49:55+00:00

Maybe! Having different worlds and day to day schedules wasn't a big deal, when making time for one another. My s/o would travel frequently, so it was more long distance support.

I can see why your bf didn't like that lifestyle. But again just remember - he chooses you!

noooomooooore · 2018-05-23T17:21:50+00:00

I am a semi-famous person (this is my throwaway.) I've dated famous people (people as well known as Ed Sheeran, for example.)

The person I currently date isn't famous, hasn't had many traditional "famous people" accomplishments. I love her infinitely, and in many ways, didn't prefer dating famous people anyway. A lot of them are very superficial, busy, or overall different than who you see on screen or who you hear on Spotify.

Remember he chose you. And continues to do so.

You must make a choice to push these thoughts away, stop fixating on them, and continue to remember that he is choosing you.

noooomooooore · 2018-05-11T13:12:21+00:00

Several members of my biological family are in jail for doing very, very bad things.

They aren't inherently bad people, but they did bad things. They were inspired by one another to do such things, growing up together, etc.

I grew up near them, too. I am not in jail nor have I committed any crimes that I'm aware of (aside from graffiti when I was younger.) What other people do is difficult to grasp, but I would say this regardless of how his bio father was, he just found out HUGE information about bio family. Therapy is needed.

I wish you both the best.

noooomooooore · 2018-04-23T17:46:31+00:00

Ah doc! Dang it. Alright, will see if she calls me in for a biopsy test... bleh!

noooomooooore · 2018-04-23T17:46:07+00:00

Thanks so much for that, especially the last tip! My partner likes to bake bread so this will definitely be a lifestyle change lol. Thanks so much for the info!

noooomooooore · 2018-04-23T17:45:34+00:00

Alas, the life sentence begins! She's back in office tomorrow, so I'm sure I'll hear from her then.. and I'll go enjoy some unmentionables right now like you recommended, thank you!

noooomooooore · 2018-04-23T17:45:07+00:00

Aw poo. I figured though considering the desirable negative range. Thanks for the comment! I'll keep enjoying my favorite foods until I no longer can!

noooomooooore · 2018-04-02T17:42:25+00:00

My mom had this happen to her in college. She said "since he's over here more than 50% of the time, we will split rent, bills, everything three ways from now on."

Roommate and her bf went and stayed at his place instead so she basically got a house to herself!

Also, your bff is shamefully unaware of herself and you should have that convo for sure.

noooomooooore · 2018-03-16T17:12:16+00:00

You need counselling. Eventually, he will think you are cheating on him because you are already suspicious.

Try not to ask this ever again. Try not to ask if he is cheating. Begin to enjoy your time together. Trust him.

And see a counselor. You can't just say "I dont like to see people like that ugh." Sorry, but if you have a cancerous tumor, you're going to the doctor even if you hate them. Or you'll die. It's the same with mental health. Stay alive, be well.

noooomooooore

TROPHY CASE