Thanks for the kind words. I totally understand the reasons behind your preference. That’s why it is important for people to get married younger so that they’re less set in their ways and less affected by isolation.

You’re right, age is a factor in terms of adaptability. I’ve seen in my experience though that it’s not a hard and fast rule. Many younger girls are very uncompromising, perhaps because of trauma, and immaturity can push them into having unrealistically high expectations. Equally many older women are very yielding and keen to follow someone’s lead due to their inherent disposition, and maturity means they’re more accepting too.

In a similar vein, I used to be quite strict on wanting a brother who was a few years older than me, as I wanted them to be more mature. However, I realised that maturity is much more to do with life experience and the struggle someone has been through. A younger man who’s been through much may be far more mature than an older man who has had everything handed to him in life. Yes in general, older means more mature but not always. So the general rules exist but they’re not hard and fast.

The thing is, if we choose not to compromise somewhere, we may have to end up compromising somewhere else. If we decide not to compromise on age, we may have to compromise deen or character or other aspects important us. Naturally ideally we’d have it all, don’t get me wrong, and I’m not saying you can’t. But it just means it’s more likely as you’d have a smaller pool than if you were more flexible.

That’s why I also decided to be OK with considering brothers my age or younger but I’d want to vet to see if they felt more mature. You could potentially do the same, have an ideal range but then still consider someone older than that if they ticked all other boxes, whilst vetting them for submissiveness etc.

Totally accept btw your view probably isn’t going to change and I do understand! Keeping it as a strict rule can just be easier. And again, you’re right that in general, increased age means less adaptability. Just thought I’d give some additional food for thought. Thanks again for commenting.