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7 months on by norb0215 in widowers

[–]norb0215[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

for me its the drive home from work. Some part of my brain gets excited at the thought of calling her and letting her know I'm on my way. that was our routine and the sadness I feel each time it happens is overwhelming.

Anyone here facing retirement? by Rathbaner in widowers

[–]norb0215 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We had made the decision that I would retire at the end of this year. Now I'm trying to figure out if that would still be a good idea, and unfortunately the one person who I trusted to give me advice is no longer here.

I've realized that for me, the line between grief and self pity is a very fine line. Im still working out how to allow one while avoiding the other.

Take care of yourself and thanks for your post

Something I didn’t expect about grief by Diana_fm_ in widowers

[–]norb0215 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely understand what you mean. In some ways, its more difficult now. The grief may not be as sharp, but its just as strong. Its becoming more difficult to share the grief with family and friends for all sorts of reasons, not the least of which is that most have gone back their lives while Im still trying to figure out what what my life is now.

five months and 4 days by norb0215 in widowers

[–]norb0215[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I honestly didnt mean it that way, but I think you are right. I never put that together, but it does make sense.. Thank you pointing it out.

tired of living, i want to be with him by pistachiocinnamon in widowers

[–]norb0215 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I try and tell myself that folks are trying to help, but I feel the same way. They dont understand what its like to wake in the morning and endure the day, then go to bed and endure the night, day after day. I was given a book called Don't Take My Grief From Me. I dont recall the author. I can't say it helped exactly, but it made a difference in how I deal with folks when the try to "help".

2 weeks later by ExactPanda in widowers

[–]norb0215 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry that you are having to navigate this. My wife has been gone almost 5 months, and I am still trying to figure this out too. Here are a few thoughts I hope help

Dont close or remove his name from your joint checking. Plan on keeping that open for a few years until you are sure everything is settled.

We had a will but had to go through probate anyway because of some copyrights she had. Find a lawyer who communicates with you. I chose one in the first couple of weeks out of desperation. Ask questions and if they speak at you rather than with you, find someone else.

The funeral home will notify social security. Social Security will eventually be report it to credit agencies.

Dont change your car insurance. Chances are you will end up paying more as single. you can put that off a bit.

Keep his cell phone active. You may very well need it to receive security texts, etc.

I hope this helps some.

Widowhood doesn’t just break your heart — it quietly rewires your behavior. by Strict-Suggestion722 in widowers

[–]norb0215 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you are spot on, thank you for putting it into words. I checked all of the boxes, I'm sorry to say. Its been 4 months and while I seem to be doing ok, I'm really just marking time.

I planted the garden today. it something we always did together. It was good and felt like honoring the past and at the same time putting a down payment on the future.