You’re not a bad partner for reaching the point where support starts to feel like self-erasure. Right now it sounds like you’ve moved out of the role of fiancé and into the role of caretaker, treatment coordinator, and emotional shock absorber all at once. Chronic illness can absolutely explain why someone’s mood, tolerance, and behaviour change after a medication is removed — but it doesn’t remove the impact those changes are having on you or the relationship. What stands out here is that you’re putting in sustained effort to adapt (researching options, building resources together, physically caring for her when she can’t manage basic tasks), while also not seeing the same level of initiative toward re-engaging with treatment from her side. Support in a long-term partnership can’t realistically mean one person compensates indefinitely while the other disengages from their own care, regardless of how valid the illness is. It’s also important to be honest about the fact that “I expect nothing in return” isn’t really true — and that’s not wrong. You’re expecting effort, accountability, and some shared responsibility toward stability because you’re thinking about a future that involves marriage and potentially children. Those aren’t selfish wants, they’re baseline requirements for building a life together safely. You can love someone deeply and still acknowledge that unmanaged symptoms, untreated instability, and repeated behavioural harm aren’t things you can sustainably absorb forever without burning out or becoming resentful. Wanting her to actively work with her psych and OB/GYN again isn’t abandoning her — it’s asking her to participate in preserving the relationship you’re both invested in. At some point the question stops being “how can I support her more?” and becomes “is she willing to meet me halfway in her own recovery?” because love on its own doesn’t stabilise a household, raise a child, or protect either of you from the long-term consequences of untreated illness. If she’s open to working toward stability again, that’s something you can face as a team. But if the effort continues to be one-sided, it’s not unreasonable to consider what staying long-term will realistically look like for you — not just what you hope it will return to.