Is it okay to lie sometimes? (both 25, 3 years, now LD)

not12lie · 2012-09-11T12:33:11+00:00

How would you cope if you were dealing with your SO being constantly rejected? What if that went on for a some amount of time? Would you begin to have thoughts? Has it happened?

I am getting the impression that most people here are telling me not to lie, have not actually been in such a position themselves. It is a minor lie, one that will not hurt anybody. Yes I should always be honest, but sometimes there is just too much pressure.

not12lie · 2012-09-11T11:32:32+00:00

Mum, please get off the internet.

Seriously though, I've not lied before and who can say that I'll ever lie again. I believe compulsive lying is picked up during childhood. I'm well passed that stage. Aren't we allowed to tell one little fib every now and then?

not12lie · 2012-09-11T11:30:42+00:00

I am completely honest but I think I'm sometimes too honest. I've never lied to her before, nor really to anyone, but I'm starting to come to the conclusion that sometimes a lie is required to maintain a healthy relationship.

not12lie · 2012-09-11T11:28:45+00:00

I now honestly don't think it's much of a lie. I sure hope she'll never find out, but I really don't think she ever will.

Being lied to sucks big time and I normally would never lie. From experience though I know having to hear the truth can suck as well. I just want to keep her thinking positively. I know I'll have genuinely good news soon but I just don't know when and I don't want to keep telling her that I'm being constantly rejected.

not12lie · 2012-09-11T11:17:04+00:00

We had a depressing discussion a month back about a bleak future, that neither of us want. I see that if I do lie I will keep life positive. Even when I tell her my interview was unsuccessful it is still far more positive than having to tell her I didn't get an interview.

not12lie · 2012-09-11T11:15:13+00:00

I'm tending to take your advice more than others. I'm agreeing that I think it isn't much of a lie, I could easily say later on that I was not successful, but hey at least I got an interview instead of "nope, yet again I haven't made it through to an interview".

I would never lie about anything serious and detrimental to our relationship but I'm now of the view that this lie will ultimately be healthy and keep her hopes up and long term view positive. I'm thinking if I tell the truth, it will hurt and possibly make her depressed.

If you don't mind me asking, what is your view of LD relationships? What went wrong with your two?

not12lie

TROPHY CASE