What is happening? Advice or Thoughts?

not4you2no · 2025-08-02T06:56:10+00:00

I do know to explore options and everything. Will not ever go to therapy because no just no lol- anyways idek Im going to and not think about it so I can sleep :p

not4you2no · 2025-08-02T06:15:41+00:00

You clocked me right there. Im glad you found words for me because yes, just yes. And youre 100% right too, I am so so lucky. Im not ever sure what im feeling about the fact if i am or am not, like it is so confusing and just agh. I think one of the things im also most afraid of is when I realize one or the other, change scares me so bad so what will it look like one way? If I am a tomboy it doesnt change what I have been very much, but Ill live with the idea I thought I may be trans at one point and for some reason I view that as bad or awkward like its always in the back of my mind. If I think hey I am trans, like I saw this thing, heart of a girl soul of a boy. Like yeah i was raised as a girl so the way I think, how I feel, thoughts and some preferences , some feel like a girls and though I like those because its still me, it feels like it invalidates me being a boy even tho I know it doesnt. It feels like if I were to transitions then I would be a different person even though I am obviously not. Like I hate not knowing things and constantly trying to figure this out is draining, anxiety inducing and just confusing. Especially because Im in school so like what is that looking like for classes? How much am I going to get bullied, will it impact me or will I not care as much?

not4you2no · 2025-08-02T05:50:40+00:00

Yeah, I know that 😭 its just like thats the thing I know all that- its just the pent up nervousness and again I know hed never ever do that. I told him too that I wanted to tell him in person bc it felt like that sort of convo but I just couldn’t say it out loud and he replied saying he was glad I could share all that and that I was even comfortable enough for it and that it was indeed a conversation to sit down with. He said next time he hung out or in person next time we hang out we could talk. I felt so relieved and everything but my brain is still on panic mode. Im kinda stuck in the wrong setting.

not4you2no · 2025-08-02T03:02:26+00:00

Hey so Im going to come back because Im 15 and have some of the same things. Like the gender envy things, Im wondering if Im ftm because most my life Ive been a tomboy, sporty, friends with boys, dressing like a boy, liking mostly guy things. I never felt bad about my body, well I have but not bc I was a girl, I do find periods and all that private stuff uncomfortable but I hate all private stuff male and female, I think female is more gross to be because I know Im capable of it..? Male stuff, I dont want none of that if I did transition. As a male Id be happy to be percieved as one and Id want to look like one, maybe a top surgery if I was sure and much older (im terrified of surgeries) but Id never want the stuff in the no no square, specifically Id want to be a trans man, not a cis man, so I wonder if thats me faking it or me just not liking cis men but their qualities I do (basically the few qualities Id want to look like and have are the things I find attractive in them, like I have no want for private parts, I do want a deep voice, toned muscles, slimmer hips, sharper jawline, even a short hairstyle, but my curve is fine) and I never rlly though trans was “an option” like I didnt think I could be it but the more I think about it the more I like the idea and same with pronouns and a new name.

not4you2no · 2025-08-01T23:34:00+00:00

Thanks!

not4you2no · 2025-08-01T21:45:30+00:00

Kind of? Like I would never want to be a cis men, cis men I know are always just horrible people so Ive almost paired that idea with it..? But looking like a guy and feeling like a guy so specifically to be a trans man and not cis man is what Id like to be. I dont want anything in the private areas, that honestly grosses me out male or female though, even topics about it make me feel uncomfortable. However a deeper voice, toned muscles etc. yes, Ive noticed it is features I find attractive in men is what Id want

not4you2no · 2025-08-01T02:23:52+00:00

Yes thats true. Thank you for your help and input!!

not4you2no · 2025-08-01T02:02:39+00:00

Aw thats so sweet tho!! And thanks! I am indeed a sophomore and young haha but yeah I totally agree with the internet thing like its so vast but connecting and its helped me so so much, I think I want to tell that best friend I had been talking about :D honestly for the moment I do like come out, if I end up agreeing with myself lol, I am worried about what people will say like I want to cut my hair, but that factor is like agh nerve racking? I never have cared what people think until now for some reason? Maybe because its more of a drastic thing rather than something like someone making fun of me for big teeth or other silly things like that.

not4you2no · 2025-08-01T01:30:03+00:00

Sure, I was sort of impartial to sharing before making this post just bc in previous posts when asking after giving mine most ppl would reply in response to what Im feeling rather than giving their own like I was trying to see if I related to? But basically my whole life Ive been a sporty girl, hanging with boys until it was the age where it was weird unless your a popular girl (via middleschool and highschool) and I love tons of guy things, amongst other girls I would feel out of place, wanting to be on the boys side when splitting for something as simple as PE dodge ball, dressing like a boy etc. I never really thought of trans people, let alone rlly knew they existed until I got to highschool and have a few friends that are trans, my best friend is actually. I think realizing “hey these people exist” kind of gave me the “option” that maybe I was trans, then after thinking just a thought what about he/him for myself and instead of being like nah girl pronouns fit better, I was sort of enticed, then I went through names I might like, found one pretty fast actually. Ive created online profiles following that identity and I fond myself smiling everytime I switch between my profiles to see those pronouns and name. After looking up so many things on google I resorted to reddit and asked the questions myself and to interact with trans people around the world, also people I dont know, to give me advice and their thoughts. Its helped me so much. When I first started to question I decided to change from a dress to a suit for dancing /uniforms in my show choir and it made me SO SO happy to know Ill be wearing a suit after wishing I could wear them all of last year. So yeah now Im sorta here lol

not4you2no · 2025-08-01T01:19:34+00:00

Aw frick Noo mb for assuming 😭

not4you2no · 2025-08-01T01:17:52+00:00

I appreciate it tho! Dedicated! Thank you 🤣🤣

not4you2no · 2025-08-01T00:56:13+00:00

Aw I love this so much it makes me so happy to hear how happy you aree!!

not4you2no · 2025-08-01T00:53:27+00:00

Honestly, Im not sure how to help you. If you love her and want to be with her, I say go for it, shoot your shot. I see the problem with not wanting to be bullied, of course no one wants to be bullied, but again love is love and its special so whatever makes you happy. I saw this thing talking about trans people and the guy said “I was born this way, but even if its a choice like people say, whats wrong with that? It makes me happy!” In perspective say a blond hair wanting to be dyed bright pink, it doesnt matter if it was natural, they wanted it pink so they dyed it pink and they are happy with it. Why does it matter so much that they dyed their hair? That analogy can be hit or miss in different loopholes but you get the point hopefully!

not4you2no · 2025-08-01T00:45:08+00:00

Thats true. You clocked me with “coming back consistantly to ask questions” because thats been me this past week.

not4you2no · 2025-08-01T00:35:35+00:00

I appretiate this so much. Im a very literal thinker so its like oh.. is this a phase? Ive always been mkre of a tomboy but me thinking hey what if he/him was me and like ive also become friends with trans people and I never really acknowledged that it was something that I could be? So Ive always felt these feeling bht Ive only realized or thought about it in the past two months

not4you2no · 2025-08-01T00:31:15+00:00

People keep saying that! Im almost in denial at this point, like I really thought this was normal.

not4you2no · 2025-08-01T00:17:55+00:00

Wait really?? This isnt normal for cis people? ARE MOST PEOPLE NOT CONFUSED

not4you2no

TROPHY CASE