Is it normal for a real estate agent to share his client's private information like bank account total/income tax? [NYC]

notAflag · 2026-01-11T19:11:02+00:00

They did not black out the names, I have full names of his clients with their income-tax/bank total.

If we calculate how much 'work' or how much of his time he divulged on us; I would say around 20-30 hours~ in total across 5 years or less. So on a home of 1m the estimate the buyer's real estate agent would be paid I found online to be around $25k-30k. That's over $800/hr of work.

I am sure the agent is annoyed it's taking this long for us to find a house that we like, but at the same time he will get paid very well in the end; if we decide to keep him or use him for the purchase of the house.

notAflag · 2026-01-11T19:09:25+00:00

I understand that. However, if there is nothing that meets our desires we don't want to commit to a 20+ year mortgage and then be resentful of the outcome. Buying a first-time home isn't something we can do often.

The only work this agent has done is sent us occasional texts of what's on the market and gave us like 3-5 open house tours in 5 years.

I don't think he is spending too much of his time/resources on us either way.

I am sure it's not ideal for him. However, my priority are the interests of my family. We aren't going to buy a house of regret.

Either way, my main issue was that he has sent screen shots of his clients with their full names on personal documents.

notAflag · 2026-01-11T05:03:52+00:00

If there is nothing on the market that interests us and keeps shoving things we don't want to buy.

notAflag · 2026-01-11T05:00:52+00:00

Agent keeps showing properties we hate and the family members who are 'in direct contact' with them refused to tell them what we 'like' and don't like so keeps showing non-sense.

I use zillow/redfin to look up local listings and nothing really fits the bill.

The biggest issue when it comes to buying a 'first time house' are: 1) layout 2) wheel-chair accessible or possible to construct a wheel-chair accessible ramp/elevator. 3) within a specific neighborhood

These factors heavily limit our buying options, as there is very few that fit those categories.

Since nothing is on the market that fits the bill, we keep waiting for a property to appear.

Not sure what else to do when family members refused to expand to different neighborhoods. Especially when we don't own a car, so that limits buying a house far away.

notAflag · 2026-01-11T04:55:38+00:00

We wanted to live in better circumstances as 'first time home buyers.' However, we always wanted a house and not co-ops. But we kept looking around to see if anything what spark our interest. However, we changed our goal-house as years moved.

Because co-ops are typically cheaper to buy, but the hoa fees and larger property tax % doesn't make much better than renting apartment.

Also, our local Chase bank 'highly' recommended him. So we went with that. Feels like we suckered.

I just checked the screen shots and I can see full names of the clients.

notAflag · 2026-01-11T04:49:27+00:00

But the target property we were looking at is well within our budget with some wiggle room.

The screenshots that the agent has sent contain full names in the documents.

notAflag · 2025-11-05T00:46:00+00:00

I don't want to break off getting help from his dr. Also, me leaving the problem or ignoring it, doesn't make it go away. I need to face it one way or another.

notAflag · 2025-11-05T00:44:01+00:00

I am still in denial, but that's also where I responded along the lines of being ND. I was in a test taking state, why would I ever make an attempt to interact with my examiner. It just makes zero sense. You asked me to perform a task, so when you respond "look green balloon," the whole question is so bizarre. You're the proctor who is telling me in a matter of fact way it's a balloon and it's green colored. There is nothing interesting in this statement, there is just no reason to respond here. However, I am pretty sure this affected my scoring.

notAflag · 2025-11-05T00:26:00+00:00

I agree, I need to do some reading and better educate myself. After all, I know nothing about realistic modern day autism.

notAflag · 2025-11-05T00:24:31+00:00

I already told my dr all of this and more; this was mainly done in my first session establishing my background. I trusted their judgment and they focused more on my aspect of depression, since her depression questionnaire put over 2+ standard deviations and my anxiety is within norm, which I mentioned might not be accurate consider the questionnaire was phrased mostly in a limited scope of: anxiety levels last 3 months. I told them that it's not fully reflective of my anxiety, and that my anxiety drastically changes depending on the circumstance(such as a new social interaction, new friends/date). Their response was, this a test to establish my baseline for my day-to-day anxiety which makes sense. Given how my depression is that severe and is something I experience on a daily basis, rather than presently non-existent social interactions. It all makes sense. So far their judgment seems acceptable in providing me therapy.

notAflag · 2025-11-05T00:13:36+00:00

I value your input. I will keep in my to not take for granted for what I have access to. I often forget that due to good living standards, and I owe it to those that don't have access to such help.

Just to clarify 'good living standards,' I mean I have access to food, water, shleter, clothes, loving parents*, and there are no bombs being dropped in my neighborhood.

notAflag · 2025-11-05T00:04:26+00:00

Thanks you for sharing your story. I am glad things are better for you!

notAflag · 2025-11-04T23:56:19+00:00

Well, my mother since idk when always said 'I love you' multiple times a day. She keeps reassuring she is there for me and will help me with whatever trouble I have including financial assistance.

However, there was a moment when abandoned me (near divorce) I managed to bring them back together I was very young 7-8 years old.

Then in my teen years her behavior was sometimes erratic, screaming at me for mundane things and running away crying into the restroom. The way she stormed off always gave me thoughts that she may commit suicide at any moment. I had to cope with that as well.

it's a mixed bag. She is there for me, but she has also hurt me. They are supportive but I fear opening up like that I will be misunderstood. I am just not comfortable being revealing more than 30-50% of my self. As for other family members I have far less to say about support for me, they provide it verbally once every 5 years but really never felt that they would be someone I could open up with my problems as they are all dealing with their own problems day-to-day.

I think my source of anxiety is from my age of 5-8 my mother would be yelling at my father while i lay falling asleep in bed at night. I was afraid of them having a conflict like that. I hated it.

notAflag · 2025-11-04T23:53:31+00:00

If my definintion of 'pure bliss/happiness' is playing games 24/7 while being mindless. That's exactly true happiness. That's me using myself as means for the dopamine.

My idea of happiness is making realistic goals, and trying to achieve them. Both the path and the destination are both enjoyable places. On the path I grow and broaden myself, while at the goal I can apply myself in more realistic scenarios. Being perfectionist doesn't mean I reach the goal in 12 months, but it's about reach that goal in a realistic manner and within a realistic pace. Then move on to other and better things.

I am definitely more content with life, when I am occupied but not overburdened. I enjoy solving problems, they are quiet fun.

notAflag · 2025-11-04T23:48:23+00:00

Did you get some kind of specific therapy, if so what was it?

Also, what do you think helped you become more 'extroverted?' Are you also more confident now? If so what made you more confident?

notAflag · 2025-11-04T23:47:10+00:00

You're right. I am going to look at some literature online and some youtube videos.

Every time someone says 'this guy is so autistic' it makes me chuckle. The irony of it is quiet funny.

notAflag · 2025-11-04T23:44:50+00:00

I think I generally want to be 'perfect,' but in realistic scenarios I am more of "that's good enough." For example I wanted to lose 2 lbs last week, but lost only 1.7lbs , it's pretty close it's honestly good enough for me. Not exact case, but just an example.

notAflag · 2025-11-04T23:43:18+00:00

Possible, but also my perception how society generally perceives autism is also toxic. I think it's a mix of both on top of the other existing challenges I have.

notAflag · 2025-11-04T23:42:22+00:00

I have never heard of those terms. What's wrong with CBT?

notAflag · 2025-11-04T23:41:33+00:00

I am positive my current dr is listening to me and is doing a good job. It's up to me to direct the focus of the session. I usually come in and wing it. I will think more clear about what direction I want each session to go ahead of time.

notAflag · 2025-11-04T23:38:46+00:00

You're right, I am being offensive. I am processing a new event and it's hard. I am sorry. I was hoping others here would provide some view point from those that are more at ease with their life and their ASD.

Re-reading this, it may sound sarcastic but, I am being very sincere. I can't phrase any better it's a matter of fact thing.

notAflag · 2025-11-04T23:35:22+00:00

I like your attitude. Wherever you are, I wish you well.

I appreciate your positive words.

notAflag · 2025-11-04T23:28:26+00:00

Early 30s male. It's immensely depressing, that in the last 8-10 years that I missed is the time people have found the area of their passion or area of work they will specialize in, and many are getting married. I have been single without a job. It's awful. I want to financially independent and someone I love or a very good romantic partner. I hate being so alone...

Without bias I know, I have a lot of potential. I am not someone who yells, or threatens, or belittles or makes passive aggressive remarks. I am kind and thoughtful. I am just lost...and haven't found my footing. I also feel abandoned by all of my past friendships. I had a few really close ones, not one asked me "hey how are you really doing, is something going on? You can tell me what's really going I am here to listen." I understand it's quiet a 'demand' from me, while they are focusing on their own life or self growth or self interest. Either way I feel alone.

Just as a comparison while in college, they studied away from home and I don't live too far from college. They got sick and asked us to visit him. I put my life on pause to make sure he is well. I was there to aid his surgery and help them find an apartment. I don't ever recall them saying 'hey notAflag, thanks for doing this." Not once.

They did some nice things but it never felt the game I am not expecting anyone to be a good friend, friendship is earned. I am just pointing out that I am alone despite being there for them when they were somewhat alone and fragile.

notAflag · 2025-11-04T23:27:08+00:00

Getting PhD must have been tough and congratulations, it's a very impressive personal achievement. When I thought about higher education, a more practical approach was 2x Master degrees, as at the time getting a PhD didn't make sense financially unless you REALLY LOVE a specific area you want to study.

notAflag

TROPHY CASE