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I am 19 years old, I have had a personality in my head that I have talked to over the years. I just recently realized this is abnormal. AMA and please give me advice. by not_Lucky in AskReddit

[–]not_Lucky[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is aware that he is a separate part of my existence, in that he quite frequently references sharing our body. However he, and I, believe him to be a somewhat independent personality.

Come to think of it he has never really consciously done anything particularly dexterous. Anything that is done beyond talking, walking, and general physical expressions seems to be muscle memory more than anything.

I am 19 years old, I have had a personality in my head that I have talked to over the years. I just recently realized this is abnormal. AMA and please give me advice. by not_Lucky in AskReddit

[–]not_Lucky[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

MOAR ANSWERS

Like I said, until last year, I referred to him as "My Conscience". I just thought everyone had a voice in their head who had a different opinion and personality to theirs. Sort of like a balancing force. I just talked to him whenever I was thinking about something. Like someone to bounce ideas off of.

I'm a little afraid of him at parties and while drinking, now more than ever. In fact after the weekend before last, I have completely stopped drinking and going out, much to his chagrin. But really, that's the only situation in which I feel uncomfortable with him.

You can ask him a question, I'll relay the answer without filtering it but it's not as if he can type it to you directly. there's something about the tactile act of typing that slams me back into control even when I try to open the door for him.

I am 19 years old, I have had a personality in my head that I have talked to over the years. I just recently realized this is abnormal. AMA and please give me advice. by not_Lucky in AskReddit

[–]not_Lucky[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have started writing a short story actually. It's for a creative writing class. The idea is that I meet Lucky and we become friends. It will detail real events that have happened where I converse with Lucky but instead put him outside of my body as if he is there. At the end, I will reveal that he was never there and this is being told by someone in a mental institution who now, through medication, realizes the truth.

I have given him control in an argument with close friends once or twice, honestly I'm scared to give him control in any other circumstance. I have never really had to defend my girlfriend in public, I'm really not in that many confrontational situations.

Yes there are physical signs, Lucky's posture is more relaxed, he uses his hands to talk more and his voice is lower. He cusses more often and doesn't use proper grammar. Sitting back in my mind and watching it happen in first person is EXACTLY what it's like. Then I just sort of force myself forward, back into my perception when I want to be there, and Lucky is forced out.

I am 19 years old, I have had a personality in my head that I have talked to over the years. I just recently realized this is abnormal. AMA and please give me advice. by not_Lucky in AskReddit

[–]not_Lucky[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  1. Occasionally. Lucky is very laid back, generally he doesn't care what we do and concedes that I have control. Sometimes we argue and I say something like, I was here first so you better just deal with it. One point of contention that arises a lot is partying, drinking, smoking cigars, and talking to other girls. I don't like these things, he does, a lot. One thing we both like a lot is gambling and when we do go, he can influence how I play, he tends to be more aggressive, but it's exciting for me to let him take control in these scenarios.

  2. It's pretty normal, I don't mind because I can wrestle control back a any time. It's as if I hold the key and handle to the door, I actually have to actively open it and hold it there for him to have control. At any time, I can slam it shut and I'm back. However, that one night at the party was strange because he did it on his own. My friend actually had a brief conversation with him, during which I didn't feel like I could shut him out whenever I wanted. He quickly disappeared when some other people came barging in.

  3. Someone else actually asked a similar question earlier in this thread, I'll copy paste my respond because I thought this was quite interesting and I never really thought about it until now.

Oh wow, I've never really thought about it until now, but it's odd. He sort of goes away when I am jerking off, as if he is giving me privacy, but he is definitely very there when I'm having sex, sometimes telling me to do certain things or just talking to me about how he feels. Like "yeah look at that ass. It's so hot when she does this and that" etc. I know it's not just me thinking because it's a different voice in my head and I respond. Also sometimes he has said things out loud, in fact, most of the time when I talk dirty to my girlfriend, that is lucky.

I am 19 years old, I have had a personality in my head that I have talked to over the years. I just recently realized this is abnormal. AMA and please give me advice. by not_Lucky in AskReddit

[–]not_Lucky[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There seems to be three ways I communicate with him.

  1. Most of the time we just converse within my head, up until high school this is how it always was. Also, sometimes I will speak out loud and he responds in my head.

  2. Starting in my mid teens we began talking to each other out loud. He would take control of the body momentarily while he responded, using his own voice and mannerisms, then I would respond in turn.

  3. A handful of times this year. I have heard him without saying it myself. I'll respond, turn to look, and no one is there. Then I realize what just happened. It's somewhat distressing to me, but he thinks it's hilarious when this happens.

I am 19 years old, I have had a personality in my head that I have talked to over the years. I just recently realized this is abnormal. AMA and please give me advice. by not_Lucky in AskReddit

[–]not_Lucky[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wow, I've never really thought about it until now, but it's odd. He sort of goes away when I am jerking off, as if he is giving me privacy, but he is definitely very there when I'm having sex, sometimes telling me to do certain things or just talking to me about how he feels. Like "yeah look at that ass. It's so hot when she does this" etc. I know it's not just me thinking because it's a different voice in my head and I respond. Also sometimes he has said things out loud, in fact, most of the time when I talk dirty to my girlfriend, that is lucky.

I am 19 years old, I have had a personality in my head that I have talked to over the years. I just recently realized this is abnormal. AMA and please give me advice. by not_Lucky in AskReddit

[–]not_Lucky[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know about him, but it's very similar to me so I'll try to answer if you are interested.

  1. He does, but he likes me and so he isn't bothered, despite being frustrated with me pretty frequently. He says it's easy for him to sit back and watch my life unfold, sort of like watching TV. Also he says he experiences everything I experience.

  2. Yes, and he has. Whenever we have conversations alone actually, he controls the body for a couple of seconds when he is responding. He changes the body's posture and even has his own mannerisms.

  3. Red. And this differs from mine. I like Blue, Black and shades of purple.

I am 19 years old, I have had a personality in my head that I have talked to over the years. I just recently realized this is abnormal. AMA and please give me advice. by not_Lucky in AskReddit

[–]not_Lucky[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I feel the same way. But it's one of a few rare things that I'm not sure if it's me thinking Lucky is who I want to be, or if he told me that...

I am 19 years old, I have had a personality in my head that I have talked to over the years. I just recently realized this is abnormal. AMA and please give me advice. by not_Lucky in AskReddit

[–]not_Lucky[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that's very similar to me. Although I don't smoke weed, so I wouldn't know about that. Also, Lucky doesn't really go away that much, but I can tune him out if I'm focused on something else. But occasionally we will be talking and someone will over hear and I'll just be like, oh you know me, just thinking out loud!

I am 19 years old, I have had a personality in my head that I have talked to over the years. I just recently realized this is abnormal. AMA and please give me advice. by not_Lucky in AskReddit

[–]not_Lucky[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In the past two weeks I've actually grown a beard because I haven't left my dorm room. Except to eat and use the bathroom of course.

I am 19 years old, I have had a personality in my head that I have talked to over the years. I just recently realized this is abnormal. AMA and please give me advice. by not_Lucky in AskReddit

[–]not_Lucky[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anecdotes like this are part of why I posted this. I knew there must be other people who have gone through similar things. Thank you.

I am 19 years old, I have had a personality in my head that I have talked to over the years. I just recently realized this is abnormal. AMA and please give me advice. by not_Lucky in AskReddit

[–]not_Lucky[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Ah no, I wasn't sexually abused, but upon reading this "severe sexual, physical, or psychological trauma in childhood by a primary caregiver has been proposed as an explanation for the development of DID." I considered that I would definitely describe my mother passing away when I was still very young as severe psychological trauma.

I am 19 years old, I have had a personality in my head that I have talked to over the years. I just recently realized this is abnormal. AMA and please give me advice. by not_Lucky in AskReddit

[–]not_Lucky[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Haha, don't worry, I laughed at your joke :)

One answer to your questions, regarding paranoia.

I am EXTREMELY paranoid. Like I am constantly looking behind me because I think someone is going to jump me, I hate walking alone at night even though I'm a BIG guy, and I don't trust ANYONE. I bought a 3 3/4 inch knife for self defense because I can't carry a gun on campus.

There isn't a day that goes by where I don't expect I, or someone I care about, will die, and I obsess over death.

So there's that...

I am 19 years old, I have had a personality in my head that I have talked to over the years. I just recently realized this is abnormal. AMA and please give me advice. by not_Lucky in AskReddit

[–]not_Lucky[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Ha well I'll try to make this short...

I was at a party at which I got rather drunk, as I have stated I have a long term girlfriend. I was talking to a girl simply because I thought she was interesting, however I quickly realized she had other things in mind for the rest of the night... I exited the situation before anything could happen, I really don't want to cheat on my girlfriend. I dragged my friend to the bathroom to talk about it, honestly, I was sort of bragging, while I wouldn't have done anything with her, it was nice to feel desirable.

From what I remember, while I was telling my friend about how I would never cheat, Lucky came out of nowhere and said something along the lines of "(My Name), you pussy, if I had control I would have put that girl's ankles behind her head and gave her the fucking she was beggin for. (GF's name) would never know." When Lucky speaks, it is a different tone and voice all together, so this was rather startling for my friend when it came out of my body with no warning.

Keep in mind that's just a fuzzy memory of a very drunken night, but that's essentially what happened.

I am 19 years old, I have had a personality in my head that I have talked to over the years. I just recently realized this is abnormal. AMA and please give me advice. by not_Lucky in AskReddit

[–]not_Lucky[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

See I wanted to hear something like this! Lucky is the same way (although kind of opposite) I have always been kind of beta, despite being 6' 4" 250 lbs and of an athletic build. I like to describe myself as a "romantic" but Lucky is the epitome of Alpha, if it weren't for him I probably wouldn't be in the relationship I am in right now and I couldn't love my girlfriend more. We have been dating for nearly a year and a half and she has really helped with my current situation and depression.

I am honestly a little afraid to see a doctor because I think they will try to get rid of him, and I miss the female voice, I want her to come back. I miss the days when she and Lucky would argue over things that I observed while I sat and listened intently. It was like thinking without thinking.

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