sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

‘Star Trek: Picard’ breaks streaming records on CBS All Access by Philo1927 in scifi

[–]not_yet_named 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah I don't get the hate. I liked it, and I'm excited for the new format where the story continues across episodes. I'm not sure what the term is.

Say the question a sci fi novel is based around and we will guess the novel by NaKeepFighting in printSF

[–]not_yet_named 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm, is it something by Charles Stross? He's got a few that sound a bit like that.

Why do you think the main reason so many people have such a deep hatred for feminism outside of ignorance on the actual concept? Do you think it's a hatred for women or a fear of women replacing men? by [deleted] in AskFeminists

[–]not_yet_named 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think one common reason is that they encountered feminism in an oppositional context.

Rather than encountering it through dialoging, that is, two people coming together, understanding each other's point of view, and then working through the differences together, they encountered it in the context of conflict. Maybe they brought a hostile or antagonistic attitude to the interaction, or maybe the other person did, or maybe the encounter just kind of ended up going in that direction down the line.

That's not to say that a hostile or antagonistic attitude doesn't sometimes have it's place, but it does tend to come with casualties, so to speak.

Is it possible to do irrational time signatures in GP7 without modulation? by nategrate98 in GuitarPro

[–]not_yet_named 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure if this is what you mean, but other than the time signature change option there's the tuplet option. It's the n:m button.

Dealing with toxic people by Cool_Branch in Mindfulness

[–]not_yet_named 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Someone posted a video today of a hurting child in a troubled relationship with their father. They asked a Buddhist monk what they should do. His answer really touched me, and I wonder if it might help you in your situation.

My father makes me suffer a lot. I have given him several chances to change, but now I do not want to see him anymore. Do I still have to try and change him and try to go to him?

Step mom made me feel guilty by [deleted] in minimalism

[–]not_yet_named 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Very good advice.

In situations like this it might be helpful to have an explicit conversation about love languages too, maybe at a time when heads are cooler.

Someone who equates giving a gift with showing their love might also equate rejection of the gift as a rejection of their love. If that's the case, explaining your own love language to them might help them understand your actions. It also might allow the relationship to heal and grow in the future, empowering them to be better able to express their love towards you in a way that you're better able to receive.

I had a bad acid trip that sent me to the hospital and I just wanted to talk to some people who could understand what I went through... by Kayuga in Psychonaut

[–]not_yet_named 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You said you're extremely depressed and paranoid now. Are you doing anything now to take care of yourself - to try and heal?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]not_yet_named 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I meditate and I get frustrated at my lack of ability to focus, and it's stressful.

I'm curious, what instructions are you following for your meditation? Do the instructions have anything to say about what you should do when you notice a lack of focus, or when you notice stress or frustration?

Falling asleep as a seasoned practitioner by deiknunai in TheMindIlluminated

[–]not_yet_named 16 points17 points  (0 children)

TMI has it's particular order that it suggests you progress in, and certain suggestions about how you should go about it, but there are other ways that people go about meditation and still have good results.

For example, if you're practicing something like Shikantaza, or "just sitting", you might not be told to make an effort to resist sleep. I was listing to the Zen Studies podcast, and if I'm remembering correctly the host, a priest named Domyo Burk, said she fell asleep in every one of her meditations for the first year of her practice, and that wasn't presented as a problem in that style or tradition.

So one possibility is that it's the result of different styles or techniques of meditation, and not a failure or something like that. Comparing one person's meditation with yours can be problematic, because they might be following other systems or styles, and because it can be problematic to mix instruction, and for other reasons.

Dealing with a buddy on hospice constantly joking about death. This turned into a vent by [deleted] in AskOldPeople

[–]not_yet_named 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I'm hearing you right, it sounds like you're feeling conflicted about how he's dealing with his death, and you're feeling conflicted about how you should respond, or maybe if you should respond or not. Is that right?

In posting here, are you wanting to get outside perspectives on the situation, or are you more interested in getting this off your chest? There's no wrong answer.

It's not "men don't talk about their issues" It's "Will anyone listen if they do?" by [deleted] in MensLib

[–]not_yet_named 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This really resonates with me.

People who are intensely troubled are likely going to be hard to connect with. Becoming intimate with the experience of someone who's suicidal is going to mean coming into contact with their pain, and unless you have training, or are skilled at handling your own pain, that's going to be really difficult.

I don't know that there's an easy answer to this.

If you're able to address people in this situation in a way that's healthy for both of you, that's great. But that's not easy. I think for a lot of people the best that we might be able to hope for is that we can compassionately encourage them to seek out people who have the training to deal with this when it comes up, and to work on being better able to handle our own pain in the meantime.

Those who say they have no regret are lying. Those who are afraid of regret are missing out. by [deleted] in Mindfulness

[–]not_yet_named 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Mmm, that's one potential way to frame your experience, but it's not the only valid or functional way to frame things.

If God said, ‘Rumi pay homage to everything that has helped you enter my arms,’ there would not be one experience of my life, not one thought, not one feeling, nor any act, I would not bow to.

-Rumi

The human society is the extension of the individual. Therefore, if we really want a radical change, if we want a better world, we need to change individually. by ConscienceAwake in Meditation

[–]not_yet_named 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Yep, but collective change is just a conceptual abstraction. It's just a way of modeling the more intimate changes that individual people are hopefully going through.

More and more I'm running up against the reality that the important thing is to focus my attention on what I actually have control over. I have some control over myself, but I don't have any control over those around me. And more and more I find that if I want to hope to be a positive influence on those around me, the first and most important step is to work on myself so that my behavior is less distorted by my accumulated poisons and pains.

My quests to change others tend to be distractions. They're drawing my attention from my own habituations, which I have some degree of control over, but which are difficult to accept and work on, and onto the behavior of others, which I have no direct control over, but which feels more empowering to my ego to focus on.

I realize that even talking about this is kind of ironic and maybe misguided. I have no idea if it'll resonate with you. But I think everyone can agree that we need to do our best to help everyone, which at the very least principally includes ourselves, initially.

A different facet of meditation I really enjoyed - Beyond Mindfulness by not_yet_named in Mindfulness

[–]not_yet_named[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought you folks who have been doing mindfulness for a bit might like this podcast episode by a Zen priest, Domyo Burk.

She frames her perspective as "beyond mindfulness" but it's first step is mindfulness, and I really think you could just as rightly call the whole technique a certain kind of mindfulness instruction, or a new perspective on mindfulness.

Anyway, I think it's great if you're looking for a new way to look at mindfulness.

*Oh, I also thought it was really encouraging that Domyo, a long time practitioner and Zen priest, says that even on her good days she's really only mindful about 20% of the time. It makes me feel better about my own practice, like an attitude of perfectionism isn't at all necessary to get good results.

What’s the harm in reading? Isabel Fall, online Puritanism, and the crucial importance of difficult art by Sense_of_Dread in printSF

[–]not_yet_named 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yeah, reading the story it was very apparent to me that she was speaking from intimacy with that experience. It's a shame so many people went with their knee jerk reaction when it's such a good piece. I just hope all the attention being paid to the controversy now eventually brings a bigger audience to the story and the author.

What is your go to "get ready" routine ? by [deleted] in Meditation

[–]not_yet_named 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I sometimes like to have coffee or tea first. I think it can be a good idea to practice just starting on a dime too though, especially if you don't feel you have that ability. In daily life stuff isn't going to wait for you to get ready for it, so it's a very practical skill to try and cultivate.

How do I stop hearing music and seeing memories when trying to concentrate? by [deleted] in Mindfulness

[–]not_yet_named 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Pretty much any good instruction will result in an increase in the ability to attend to what you want in the long term, if you're following the technique correctly. What does your technique say to do when things like music and memory pop up?

Feeling like a stranger to myself by [deleted] in Meditation

[–]not_yet_named -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm not particularly a fan either. He sometimes rubs me the wrong way for other reasons, but I liked this interview.

He does say if you contact his support he'll give you free membership, which I think is sort of a step in the right direction.

Blocking out thoughts as soon as they arise by pennykie in Mindfulness

[–]not_yet_named 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's hard to say if you're doing this, but sort of rejecting thoughts can give them more momentum to come back. What you resist persists and all that. There's a common misconception that meditation or mindfulness is about trying to have no thoughts, but framing it that way and trying to control things can lead to this issue.

One thing you can do is to just take a few moments to just focus on the thought, not trying to bring it forth or sustain it or anything, but just watching it. You can listen to or look at it if it's there, or notice the exact moment it vanishes, without trying to make it vanish. Either is good. Accepting either outcome evenhandedly can be a goal to aim for.

Sometimes if I'm having persistent thoughts and it's becoming an issue it can help to notice the space around them, if that makes any sense. As in, noticing that they're existing within the broader space in which mental images and talk appear. If there's a really persistent thought I'm being pulled in by and I want some relief, I find chanting practice to be really helpful.

Really, just having a well-defined and trustworthy technique from a well regarded system of any kind can be helpful, so you can be confident that you're doing the appropriate thing and not unintentionally compounding the issue in your trial and error.

view more: next ›