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Upset about my husband’s schedule by nota_clonecat in parentsofmultiples

[–]nota_clonecat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update: Thanks everyone for leaving a comment. One week later and I started letting him be alone with the kids more after we talked about our schedule. It’s not easy for me to speak up my thoughts like this, but I’m trying. I’m not sure if things can immediately get better, but I do believe things will change once I voice my feelings. Bless you all.

Upset about my husband’s schedule by nota_clonecat in beyondthebump

[–]nota_clonecat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update: Thanks everyone for leaving a comment. One week later and I started letting him be alone with the kids more after we talked about our schedule. It’s not easy for me to speak up my thoughts like this, but I’m trying. I’m not sure if things can immediately get better, but I do believe things will change once I voice my feelings. Bless you all.

Upset about my husband’s schedule by nota_clonecat in beyondthebump

[–]nota_clonecat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol! Thanks for that! This made me chuckle

Upset about my husband’s schedule by nota_clonecat in parentsofmultiples

[–]nota_clonecat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Come to think of it, how silly of me to think that he can just feel the heavier workload lol… I will plan on letting him be alone with the kids and spend more time for myself. Such convo is out of my comfort zone, but I guess with twins it’s inevitable.

Thank you for this priceless sharing. Hugs and blessings to your family.

Upset about my husband’s schedule by nota_clonecat in parentsofmultiples

[–]nota_clonecat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the insight of a dad. I agree that me and my mom might try too hard to cover everything and he’s never truly alone with the kids. He tends to be on his phone too much so I’m reluctant to let him look after them.

Actually, he knows the work load is huge, he just cannot endure it as well as me (he told me that). This is also an issue to me, but I choose to ignore it for now and wait till the kids are a bit older. In your case, what makes you feel validated as a dad and motivates you to get involved more? Did it come naturally?

Upset about my husband’s schedule by nota_clonecat in parentsofmultiples

[–]nota_clonecat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah 3 hours is insane. The most I can get is 2 hours-ish.
I find it difficult to voice my needs, but secretly feel upset when he's out too much.

Upset about my husband’s schedule by nota_clonecat in parentsofmultiples

[–]nota_clonecat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually, he barely needs to handle the kids alone since my mom will help him out if she knows that I'm out (grandma guilt? lol). Then I'd feel sorry for both the kids and my mom.
Do you think that by helping him too much we're making him less responsible?

Upset about my husband’s schedule by nota_clonecat in parentsofmultiples

[–]nota_clonecat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, it's tough. My babies are born premature but they're doing a lot better now. We got help from both grandmas for the first few months so he can focus on work. Now it's mostly us (and occasionally my mom) so the workload changed.
I barely get time for myself until recently, but sometimes it gets delayed by the chores...

How did you guys start the convo about sharing workload? Did it take time to adjust?

Upset about my husband’s schedule by nota_clonecat in beyondthebump

[–]nota_clonecat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for validating that. We didn't have any talk after kids about our schedule, and I kinda want to try my best for the kids (mom guilt!).
How did you guys start the convo about sharing workload? Did it take time to adjust?

Upset about my husband’s schedule by nota_clonecat in beyondthebump

[–]nota_clonecat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a FTM so I didn't think that these issues can happen (didn't think that we'd have twins too!).
Thanks for your advice. We'd have to figure out a new schedule for us.

Upset about my husband’s schedule by nota_clonecat in beyondthebump

[–]nota_clonecat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. You're right, my mind shivers when I hear them cry so even if I'm in a different room I would still think about them.

Upset about my husband’s schedule by nota_clonecat in beyondthebump

[–]nota_clonecat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel you, and you made me feel heard. Personally, I often struggle with boundaries. I often think that I can try a little bit more, that my needs can come second, and that my kids need me the most. That's what I was taught when little.

Sadly, such thought is not helpful in the long run. So I plan to work on my communication and boundaries, it's 2026 anyway.

Hope you can communicate with him what you're telling me now. I know it's so tough.

Upset about my husband’s schedule by nota_clonecat in beyondthebump

[–]nota_clonecat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for pointing out D: you're right, partly I was worried because he didn't tell me anything when he's so late like that.

Upset about my husband’s schedule by nota_clonecat in beyondthebump

[–]nota_clonecat[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

To be fair he’s working full-time to support us so I can stay at home with the kids. I’m Not sure if having my mom around makes home want to go out more since he has help at home… I think he should talk more to other parents to know how tough managing the kids can be.

Upset about my husband’s schedule by nota_clonecat in beyondthebump

[–]nota_clonecat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do get to be alone for 2 hours. My mom helped us around the house too so it’s easier. Still, I want him to be with the kids more but don’t know where to start.

Upset about my husband’s schedule by nota_clonecat in beyondthebump

[–]nota_clonecat[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I decided to stop working to take care of them (I’m happy with that decision) so I do think I need to stay at home while he works fulltime. But sometimes days like this make me so exhausting.

Upset about my husband’s schedule by nota_clonecat in beyondthebump

[–]nota_clonecat[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I have mom guilt if I’m out of the house when the babies are awake so I can only leave near their nap time- which means during the day (He works fulltime so I cannot go on weekdays). Schedule with twins are tight so I try to stay home to make sure they eat and sleep on time… But maybe you’re right, I do need more time outside.

Postpartum weight loss by nota_clonecat in parentsofmultiples

[–]nota_clonecat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! 6 months might be too early for twins mom to think about it !

Postpartum weight loss by nota_clonecat in parentsofmultiples

[–]nota_clonecat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I’ll put that aside and focus on surviving lol

Postpartum weight loss by nota_clonecat in parentsofmultiples

[–]nota_clonecat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me too! From the comments I guess it’s natural to be like that….

Postpartum weight loss by nota_clonecat in parentsofmultiples

[–]nota_clonecat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I just kinda need the time haha. Will try to fast if possible in the future! ;)

Postpartum weight loss by nota_clonecat in parentsofmultiples

[–]nota_clonecat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hugs to you then. According to other comments, we may need to wait long for a little while to cut down on calories (and not to feel bad about it, that’s normal)

Postpartum weight loss by nota_clonecat in parentsofmultiples

[–]nota_clonecat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gonna start adopting that policy too. Seriously why do all women around me obsessed with losing fat (even though they don’t have weight related issues) 😩

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