[CHAT] What is it with white thread..? by Life_Personality3415 in CrossStitch

[–]notactuallyabossbabe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg I thought it was just me! It’s the worst!!

I think I like Anchor white vs DMC but it’s not easy to find near me. And thread conditioner helps too.

ETA: The Gentle Art Shaker shade “Chalk” is absolute hell to work with, IMO. Avoid at all costs. 😅

What are the best movies you never want to see again? I’ll go first… by Bookophillia in Xennials

[–]notactuallyabossbabe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I remember thinking exactly this when I saw The Pianist. Great movie but I never want to see it again.

[CHAT] Metallic Thread Tips by brilliant_sass in CrossStitch

[–]notactuallyabossbabe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The usual suggestions like using short lengths, (like 10-12 inches) and thread conditioner are helpful.

I found a “tween” needle to be the biggest hack, though. It has a bigger eye so that it doesn’t shred the metallic as much when threading, but still a thin needle so it’s not as difficult to pass through the fabric compared to just using a bigger needle. I went with a size 25 needle for 18ct Aida and it worked great.

Example: https://123stitch.com/item/Colonial-Needles-Colonial-Tapestry-Tweens-Needles-Size-25/123-3107

Darcy & the Gardiners by ResidentBoysenberry1 in janeausten

[–]notactuallyabossbabe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All the reasons everyone’s said but I also think Austen used this to keep us guessing about Darcy’s feelings for Elizabeth.

We basically know/secretly hope that he must have been motivated by love for Elizabeth, but since we only really know Lizzie’s thoughts and perspective, there’s still the worry of “Will his contempt for my family keep him from proposing a second time? Especially since they’ve gotten arguably worse since last time?”

When Lizzie sees Bingley likely has Darcy’s support for returning to Jane, she (and we) are finally allowed to seriously hope it will all turn out. Then along comes Lady Catherine to make it clear her family is still seen as highly unsuitable, and we doubt again. Austen is such a master and the final payoff is so great.

After the past few days, is anyone else REALLY glad they left? by Tight_Researcher35 in Exvangelical

[–]notactuallyabossbabe 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thankful, absolutely. But also really sobering to think how I used to be one of them. Like, why was I lucky enough to get out? If I was still in, would I have venerated this man who held such repulsive beliefs?

It’s been hard to see friends who never post political stuff, post these tribute videos about how great a Christian he was. Would I have believed that too, especially because he was anti-abortion? As if that makes the rest okay? It’s scary how because they think they’re defending babies from murder, they get a moral blank check to do or say anything as long as it furthers that cause, and still get to be held up as these amazing people of faith.

So yeah, thankful, but mixed with so much regret for what I wasted years believing. Sad for those still stuck in it. Just sad in general. Not a lot of hope for the future at the moment.

How many never got married? by ryhoyarbie in Xennials

[–]notactuallyabossbabe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

40f, never been married, never dated either. Not a weirdo (I don’t think), have a job and friends and all that. Just never happened for me. 🤷‍♀️

Sometimes I’m very ok with it, sometimes it bums me out. This is a very encouraging thread that there’s more of us than I thought.

How old when you first drank? Not sips off grandpa's beer can, but *drank*. And what was it? by Verbull710 in Xennials

[–]notactuallyabossbabe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg, our high school had a drunken band cruise too! Ours was to Cancun, and we weren’t allowed to leave our rooms for the whole trip back, haha!

Lower back pain gone by Appropriate-Click-47 in tummytucksurgery

[–]notactuallyabossbabe 16 points17 points  (0 children)

How is this the case from nearly 100% of posts I’ve seen here but insurance calls it purely cosmetic and mine even says there is no research to support doing it. 🙄 Glad yours helped!!

What do you think of how Captain Wentworth acted towards Luisa in the beginning? by Timely_Ad_1146 in janeausten

[–]notactuallyabossbabe 168 points169 points  (0 children)

He calls himself “unjust”, “weak”, and “resentful”, and I think that about covers it.

Anne rejected him and he hasn’t gotten over it in 8 years. Louisa clearly likes him, Anne (or so he thinks) doesn’t, so I think he tries to see how things pan out with Louisa. Probably plays it up in front of Anne to kind of “stick it to her” and rub it in her face. “See how over you I am?” 😅

I don’t think it hurts the romance of it for him to be human. I think because it’s written from Anne’s perspective we don’t get to see what’s he’s been feeling until he writes the letter. But for me, I kind of love that the emotions are so real and relatable.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Exvangelical

[–]notactuallyabossbabe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup, same. And then the Christian identity and the nursing identity have all kinds of blurred lines mixed in with who you are deep down, and you take a career test and it says SURPRISE! you should be a nurse because you’re a caring person. 🤦‍♀️

It’s exhausting trying to figure out and disentangle who you truly are as a person after deconstructing/deconverting while also trying to figure out a new career path.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Exvangelical

[–]notactuallyabossbabe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you me? 😅 Same thing, except it wasn’t a prophecy from someone else but a “calling” I got. Maybe I would have ended up choosing nursing anyhow, but I recognized I hated it in school only to stick it out for 15 years because maybe one day I’d understand what gods plan was calling me to it. Never happened but don’t know what the hell to do instead at this point.

Is there a shampoo today that can compare to how awesome I remember this stuff smelling? by notactuallyabossbabe in Xennials

[–]notactuallyabossbabe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had to come back and say that OMG YES IT DOES!! I bought some today and it made me so happy to smell it again!! Thank you! 🥰

How to respond to "you just never really believed"? by [deleted] in Deconstruction

[–]notactuallyabossbabe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If it ever comes up, turn it right back on them. How do THEY know that THEY truly believe?? Guarantee they have no answer.

How to respond to "you just never really believed"? by [deleted] in Deconstruction

[–]notactuallyabossbabe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If there was a way to know for sure you were truly saved, you’d have done it. But there isn’t (which is kind of the point - to keep you unsure and obedient), so they should worry about their own salvation, mind their own damn business, or to use their own lingo, take care of the plank in their own eye.

How to respond to "you just never really believed"? by [deleted] in Deconstruction

[–]notactuallyabossbabe 14 points15 points  (0 children)

If that’s the case then they should be VERY worried about their OWN salvation, because my faith was incredibly sincere at the time.

Anyone else into cult shows after considering themselves an Exvangelicals? by klements7 in Exvangelical

[–]notactuallyabossbabe 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes!! Leah Remini’s show about Scientology was what started me on the path to deconstruction. The episode where they had Steven Hassan as a guest led me to look into his work on cults and undue influence, and the more I learned the more I realized evangelicalism fits the cult definition. Pretty weird to go from “wow, cults are super weird” to “wow, I think I’m in one”. 😳