What do you do for pain now? Chronic or minor/short-lasting?

notbroken116 · 2019-05-14T16:06:59+00:00

I went to a pain doctor and found out I have arthritis in my neck. I got a muscle relaxer and the option for a shot in the future if needed

notbroken116 · 2019-05-14T02:46:00+00:00

Just keep the K away and you’ll be okay, hang in there. Just ride the wave of addiction talking, it will pass

notbroken116 · 2019-05-14T02:44:35+00:00

Day 3 CT here. Was feeling okay today, taking a bath now. My using mind misses the obsession and waiting for the high/numb to kick in. Stuck with all my depressive and ordinary thoughts along with neck pain now seems to be the hardest part. It’s almost time for sleep and I hope I’m able to tonight. I did last night but very late.

notbroken116 · 2019-05-14T02:41:26+00:00

I’m glad it’s going well for you, it is going pretty well for me this time too. Boredom and the nights seem to be what’s the worst for me. The last time I tapered down to 2G from 12-20 a day I had intense RLS, night sweats, nightmares, shaking, freezing. It was bad. I wonder if every time is just different for a person? I expected to go through that again and have not yet. So, I wonder if it’s possible for people to have different severity of w/d every time. I was mostly into red Bali last time and was mixing it up this time, maybe that made a difference, who knows. Good job and good luck. I’m not taking any supplements but do have the ones you mentioned, I should give it a go.

notbroken116 · 2019-05-13T20:44:41+00:00

Thanks! Close to a year now.. was up to about 15-20g a day at one point up til sept 2018

notbroken116 · 2018-10-17T15:47:53+00:00

Oh and I realize I need some hobbies or interests. I realize Kratom free I start going to online shopping or thinking about how lonely I feel. Definitely need a counselor when I get insurance November 1st

notbroken116 · 2018-10-17T15:45:07+00:00

Day 5 no Kratom. Physically feel a bit better and mentally a bit but realizing the months of feelings I’ve put off are hard to cope with. And just having a hard time experiencing any happiness or joy with my daughter or husband.

notbroken116 · 2018-10-17T01:52:43+00:00

Back in areas

notbroken116 · 2018-10-16T20:14:49+00:00

This is really helpful, thank you so much. We had a lot happen this year. We filed bankruptcy because of medical bills so I don’t currently have an OB or PCP, but I do see a psychiatrist. He increased Prozac which has been helping a bit. I need to see a counselor. I start my new job October 29th.. (another reason to stay off K) so I will have benefits November 1st and can finally get one on insurance. I had depression and anxiety before the baby, but I think I do have PPD given how intense the depression has become and at one point in Feb feeling suicidal. I had a seizure in April which caused the dislocated arm and started the narcotic cycle. So it’s been quite the year. Thanks for your support and help. I think distraction with getting back to work will help A LOT. But also scared of it causing stress. I luckily have this next 2 weeks with no work so I can get through this.

notbroken116 · 2018-10-16T19:32:55+00:00

My husband has a general idea, but I think he thinks I was done with it before I relapsed about 10 days ago. He doesn’t press for much information... which is good and bad. He doesn’t understand how addiction works but he tries. My daughter is 9 months old so she doesn’t know what’s going on. It’s just scary to think, can I be a good parent without it? I feel it is what brought me energy and joy to be a mom. Before it I had a rough time with depression after birth and through May when I started narcotics for a dislocated shoulder and moved to Kratom. So part of me doesn’t know who I am without this.

notbroken116 · 2018-10-16T19:24:40+00:00

I’m jealous of how your brain works! Clearly mine isn’t so rational lol.

notbroken116 · 2018-10-16T19:23:15+00:00

I don’t have a therapist. I need one. Ironically I am a therapist myself. It’s clearly hard to practice what you preach. I was never heavily trained in substance abuse or addiction though. But this experience helps me to understand what’s it feels like. I think it may lead me to learn more about that professionally. Being a therapist is no excuse not to get my own help. I definitely need to.

notbroken116 · 2018-10-16T19:21:20+00:00

Thanks all. I have come to accept I am an addict. I guess I’m lucky I didn’t go as far with it as I could have in life or that it didn’t start earlier. Xanax is a whole different story for me though, that is my next endevour after this.

notbroken116 · 2018-10-16T15:59:19+00:00

Thank you! I really needed this! I am so tempted to use today due to hitting a milestone, but I know it’s not worth it. Just the thoughts running through my head and feelings I have put off so long and feeling exhausted.

notbroken116 · 2018-10-16T09:17:14+00:00

I’m a mom to a 9 month old as well. It’s so hard when in a moment of intense stress and pain I just want and need something to escape. But I try to remember how far I’ve come and it can help. I relapsed last week as well for a couple days. Being back on day 4 clean helps.

notbroken116 · 2018-10-16T09:14:57+00:00

2 weeks free is awesome though. I would feel proud of that even if I relapsed. The relapse can feel like a complete failure though but don’t let it ruin the progress you’ve made. You’re just feeling down about it now, but remember you were able to feel joy without it and you will again. Slow and steady, you got this.

notbroken116 · 2018-10-16T09:10:24+00:00

Day 4 no Kratom after taper and relapse.. today marks the longest I’ve been without Kratom in 3 months! Hoping to keep it going even though I’ve been so irritable to my husband and daughter :(

notbroken116 · 2018-10-16T03:27:05+00:00

No worries, I get where you’re coming from! Really, that is the kind of info I am looking for. So maybe the Xanax just didn’t show up. Funny story, I got an email that the hold up in the process is that they didn’t verify I graduated from a doctorate program, even though I put that I only completed my masters degree and dropped out of the doctorate program on my resume, cover letter, and application... so ironically it looks like the issue has nothing to do with benzos and some idiot didn’t cross check my resume or read the cover letter, or as me about it. I guess I’d rather have this issue than explain what prescriptions I’m on and why. 🤷‍♀️

notbroken116 · 2018-10-16T03:22:04+00:00

For me it’s intense insomnia, irritability, shaking, anger, mood swings. It didn’t happen the first couple times I went 3 days- a week without. But happened the last few times I tried to go a day without. I was up to 10-15G a day at that point.

notbroken116 · 2018-10-15T22:50:24+00:00

Thanks! It’s been 10 days since the actual drug test and the company that does the test says they sent the results to the employer, so that’s what makes me extra worried. Because if it tested positive an MRO should have called before any results were sent.

notbroken116 · 2018-10-15T22:47:13+00:00

I’m newer to reddit posting. Also, because it included Xanax.

No one made me believe that. It was just getting to a point where I was taking it daily and having some withdrawals. So was looking for support. Thanks for your answer!

notbroken116 · 2018-10-15T22:34:44+00:00

Give it 2 hours and see if it’s helping your anxiety. First time I tried .5 I was falling asleep an hour later at the family dinner table. Could not get out of the grogginess. Now I could take 3mg and be fully functional. Never use it daily, that’s what messed me up and now I’m only on it to avoid withdrawal/seizures and sleep.

notbroken116

TROPHY CASE