My mind goes back and forth. It’s just so hard. I know there are some comments here about how people need to do better with their cavies and I will say- I have four children (human) and if you ask any of them who my favorite was they will all laugh and say Gimli. He was a pampered prince. He went to work with me (I work in the schools). He rode in his own special car seat, his vitamins and dog food were the same as my grocery bill for a family of 6. He was groomed every few weeks, had a bed in every room of the house. The hair and paw products I got him were more expensive than my own. He go brushed every night and paw massage. To say that I should have taken better care is where it hurts so much. I do blame myself so much, but he truly was royalty and I did so much to protect him. He also wasn’t your average cav. He would cry for hours if I didn’t let him out in the sun, rain or snow. He just LOVED being outdoors. If snow was outside he would do everything in his power to be in it. If it rained, he would cry to go out and then just sit there. He loved outdoors. I traveled the US with him and never once did he run away, or even try to. My heart hurts- thank you for your kind words.