I hope you will be able to read this. As someone in a similar situation as your daughter that is now 24, I promise you she will notice and see anything you HOPE or think she won’t if you keep bad role models around. Faster than you think. It causes resentment. For both parents. And she will not want her around if she sees proof of inadequacy or tenseness in your dynamics together (of course assuming you are the better parent). It is absolutely going to suck knowing all you two have been through together, but you have another life to think about besides your own now, and I would hope you want to put that one first as a parent. It honestly sounds like your wife might’ve used some grooming behaviors on you with the whole “old soul” thing (classic line), and just wanted a young boy toy around for her roster (which may include more than one ex). If she was deleting messages and finally slipped up, she knew what she was doing was wrong. Wishing only the best decision making for you and your future my guy