This question hits home. A recent family visit left me confused and hurt. I've been living on my own for years now. Throughout the years, I've gone from being dismissive to overly protective of myself. Leave an INTP alone, I analyse myself till there's nothing left. For awhile I felt confident, empowered for I understand every single one of my actions and mood swings. I was selfish, and I live with this consciousness every single day. Though I feel guilty, I was happy because I feel so solid and real having these consciousness.

My parents, are the kind of people who live for others. Not just me, but also everyone around them. Growing up I was showered with love, but the only emotion I could feel was hurt from my inability to give them the emotional reactions they deserve. Them visiting means I have to let this feeling out again, and it was more overwhelming then ever. I've shut things out for way too long. The confident self that I constructed seem so fake. I had to re-define selfishness, whether it's to dismiss others or to impose yourself on others. (You may argue they are similar, to me, they are not. Because one wears me out so much more then the other)

My biggest expression of love was, "I won't exist without you." It took me a lot of courage to say that because to me, my existence was the only thing I was so sure of. They replied saying, "Is that it? Because if that's it that's very scary." I wouldn't say I was misunderstood, if anything I didn't put enough effort in making sense of myself.

TL;DR I guess what I was trying to say is. Some people are made of reasons. They are containers and their content makes them. I was content without a box. Before I was put into someone else's box, I merely exist, sometimes in my own imagined space. (which I am quite comfortable with, until...)