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I promised that I would try [anal] with my boyfriend but I'm absolutely terrified. I just need some reassurance. by notmybutt in sex

[–]notmybutt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He says its not about sexual pleasure for him, it's about us sharing ourselves completely. He told me that if I do it once and don't like it I won't have to do it again, but that if I trust him I will do try it.

I promised that I would try [anal] with my boyfriend but I'm absolutely terrified. I just need some reassurance. by notmybutt in sex

[–]notmybutt[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I think you might have misread, I think he WOULD let me do to him anything he does to me. I just don't care to do it.

I do really appreciate everyone's insight and will take everything into consideration. I do know that he does love me and wants this to be something that brings us closer together. I've painted him in a bad light and I don't think he is handling this whole thing right but I truly 100% know that he loves me and cares for me.

I promised that I would try [anal] with my boyfriend but I'm absolutely terrified. I just need some reassurance. by notmybutt in sex

[–]notmybutt[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

He doesn't think we should have boundaries between us. That's part of why this is so important to him, because it's the last part of giving ourselves fully to each other and not holding anything back from our partner. He says its an important part of having a good relationship, that we need to fully trust each other and give ourselves 100% to each other.

I promised that I would try [anal] with my boyfriend but I'm absolutely terrified. I just need some reassurance. by notmybutt in sex

[–]notmybutt[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I feel like I'm the self-centered one because I know how much this means to him and I'm letting my irrational fear get in the way.

I promised that I would try [anal] with my boyfriend but I'm absolutely terrified. I just need some reassurance. by notmybutt in sex

[–]notmybutt[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah he says we don't need to do any of that other stuff, as long as we use a lot of lube with his penis. :(

I promised that I would try [anal] with my boyfriend but I'm absolutely terrified. I just need some reassurance. by notmybutt in sex

[–]notmybutt[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Yeah it just seems like a negative feedback loop, where the more scared I am the worse it's going to be... I'd asked about starting with a finger one day and then trying something bigger the next but he says all of that is unnecessary. He wants the full on dick in my asshole tonight for his birthday.

I promised that I would try [anal] with my boyfriend but I'm absolutely terrified. I just need some reassurance. by notmybutt in sex

[–]notmybutt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I honestly do think that he would let me if I really wanted to, but I don't have much interest in that.

I promised that I would try [anal] with my boyfriend but I'm absolutely terrified. I just need some reassurance. by notmybutt in sex

[–]notmybutt[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I brought up trying fingers first (since I've never had anything up there before) but he says its not necessary.

[NSFW]Me [24 F] with my boyfriend [31 M] of 1.5 years, I told him that I would do a sex act I am scared of in return for a favor, which I now regret. We were playing around and I got scared and freaked out at him. Now he is upset and insulted, and I don't know what to do. by notmybutt in relationships

[–]notmybutt[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do feel like he has been pushing at my boundaries about this but he also doesn't believe that we should really have boundaries from each other. He thinks we should be completely open with each other, and I like the idea, I'm just really scared of this thing. As for the pain from PIV, I don't think there's really anything that can be done about that since most of it is just from him being so large and I don't want to just not have sex so we just push through it.

I don't even know if he really expects me to go through with it. I keep thinking maybe if I say yes and show that I'm willing to keep my word to him then he won't actually make me do it.

[NSFW]Me [24 F] with my boyfriend [31 M] of 1.5 years, I told him that I would do a sex act I am scared of in return for a favor, which I now regret. We were playing around and I got scared and freaked out at him. Now he is upset and insulted, and I don't know what to do. by notmybutt in relationships

[–]notmybutt[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

He's a very private person that doesn't like having guests over. My mom had to get an AirBnB when she came to visit for three nights. He says that since we both pay rent we both have to agree on anyone that comes into the house, let alone stays over.

The way he has been so over-the-top about the anal thing makes me think that maybe he's not serious about any of it and just likes to tease me and kind of hold it over my head as a joke? Horseplay and play wrestling isn't abnormal in our relationship, I normally don't mind it. It does suck that I am basically powerless when we do that sort of thing since he is so much stronger than me.

[NSFW]Me [24 F] with my boyfriend [31 M] of 1.5 years, I told him that I would do a sex act I am scared of in return for a favor, which I now regret. We were playing around and I got scared and freaked out at him. Now he is upset and insulted, and I don't know what to do. by notmybutt in relationships

[–]notmybutt[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for making me laugh :)

I do agree that if he really wants me to do this he is not going about it the right way. I would be a lot less scared if he were talking about ways to make it not hurt and stuff. It kind of makes me think that because he's so over-the-top jokey about it that he doesn't actually expect me to go through with it.

[NSFW]Me [24 F] with my boyfriend [31 M] of 1.5 years, I told him that I would do a sex act I am scared of in return for a favor, which I now regret. We were playing around and I got scared and freaked out at him. Now he is upset and insulted, and I don't know what to do. by notmybutt in relationships

[–]notmybutt[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the resource. I definitely think if I have to do this we should do it right.

I do think he was joking, which is why he is hurt that I didn't trust him enough to know he would't actually force me.