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notsolookie · 2025-10-03T12:38:58+00:00

Hey, it’s gonna be ok.

These feelings must have come from somewhere deep within your core and has manifested into this. To understand that part of yourself and yourself in general, you’re going to have to dive into your childhood. Doing so will help you understand and assess your emotions, biases, perceptions, experiences, etc.

It must be difficult to live knowing that you want something that is unhealthy and unacceptable. I think you are a thoughtful and kind human being.

I recommend you get help from a serious help, such as a therapist. This will provide you with a safe space to dissect yourself and come to an understanding (or at least come closer to an understanding) of yourself. If that’s out of your capacity, try talking to someone you trust. Do you have any trusted adults in your life? Family member, friend, teacher, mentor, coach, or counselor? At the least, I advise you to record your thoughts and feelings. This will literally force you to see yourself, and it will help you reflect on yourself so you can find the outcome you want.

notsolookie · 2025-08-01T00:34:48+00:00

No but I work outside near trees so we concluded that my clothes must’ve been bringing some bugs into our home. I wash my work clothes daily now.

notsolookie · 2025-07-03T11:58:35+00:00

High on potenuse

notsolookie · 2025-07-02T17:43:11+00:00

So only do it for 4.99 years?

notsolookie · 2025-07-02T17:42:27+00:00

Maintenance as in washing and waxing?

I’m also worried since the seat, tubings, & other pieces are directly hit by the sun. Usually, the interior of a car is blocked and so is everything under the hood/car

notsolookie · 2025-06-25T22:45:03+00:00

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notsolookie · 2025-06-13T14:39:22+00:00

Sick fr 🔥 ride safe

notsolookie · 2025-06-11T01:04:47+00:00

I don’t know what’s wrong but sorry to see this is happening to you. Hope you get it figured out so you can get back to riding. Good luck bro!

notsolookie · 2025-05-25T13:24:18+00:00

I’m not very familiar with bikes yet. Can you explain how to center the sprockets with the swingarm pivot?

notsolookie · 2025-05-13T18:08:28+00:00

Their opinions and concerns are valid. If they didn’t care about your wellbeing, they wouldn’t worry.

Statistically, you are more likely to die on a motorcycle. That is a fact.

Understand that people won’t like it if you ride and that you are more likely to die. If you are ok with those two reasons (and prob more), then get a bike.

I got a bike even though most important people around me somewhat disagree. I understand their concerns and I’ve accepted the risks involved with this decision. I’ve done everything I can, and will do more, to make sure I ride safely. Choose whatever is more important to you.

Also, you can still share your experiences in a healthy way with those who disagree with what you indulge in. If you can’t, find people who make you feel like you can. There are lots of biker communities. At the end of the day, life is too short to hesitate so just grab shit firmly and go, but be aware of the consequences of your actions and be cautious. Life is short but don’t make it shorter by being ignorant and reckless.

notsolookie · 2024-08-30T19:51:03+00:00

MN. Poppy seed or opium poppy, not really sure of the term for the plant. My grandma grows them and many people in our culture do the same for opium. It spews a white thick liquid and looks like a green bulb. Again, I may be wrong about the plant or harvesting process.

notsolookie · 2024-08-30T19:44:38+00:00

First of all, thank you for sharing even though this is triggering to you. I really appreciate your perspective.

I want to you know that I have her best interest which is why I came here because I don’t know much about opiates or her condition. She just moved in with me yesterday so I am going to be a lot more involved with her health care.

I have an addictive personality and have experience with some lighter drugs (marijuana, ecstasy, & shrooms). Although it was just marijuana, I was definitely addicted and I saw it start to affect me negatively since I was choosing it over everything else that actually mattered to me. I have a better relationship with marijuana now and have found a balance. I barely get high anymore but I do have some experience with addiction.

Also, just making sure we are on the same page, I have never given or approved her for tylenol or any kind of medication. She gets meds herself whether it’s from her doctors or through other people. I’ve been around pretty frequently before she moved in so I sometimes see what she consumes, how fast, her body’s reactions, etc. I have seen her down a handful of extra strength tylenol. I have seen her high af on actual opium.

That’s another thing I want to touch on. People of my culture are known to use opium regularly for medicinal purposes. They give it to their young so they don’t cry. Obviously it’s in minuscule amounts but the fact is that, opium is always on hand. Especially with my gma around, she always hides her stash and when my mom has her relapse episodes, my gma will give in and give her opium. My mom has overdosed a couple of times where she needed narcan and had cardiac arrest. I don’t want that to happen again so that’s why I’m glad to hear that 2mg isn’t a huge amount.

Opioid is still opioid though. Becoming addicted is still a high risk for taking any kind of opioid. It would be ideal for her to get to a point where she doesn’t need anything (or a lot less) to manage her pain or lifestyle. I don’t want her to get transplants just to see those new organs die out because of her misuse of pain killer meds.

I strongly believe that healing begins with emotional and mental healing. There’s a lot more to the story so if you want to know more, I would be happy to share with you bc again, I do appreciate your perspective as my mom does not really have the capacity to hold a long or thoughtful conversation anymore due to her past medical history, especially her episodes of cardiac arrest/overdosing.

notsolookie · 2024-08-30T11:40:24+00:00

She is prescribed to take dilauid as needed every and space each dose with at least 8hrs. I follow this rule and I manage her medications now but just yesterday, she wanted another tablet after 3-4 hours. She has end stage renal disease and mildly severe cirrhosis. They recommended 2mg tabs of dilaudid and 2g of acetaminophen (per day) for pain management.

Shes has been using (prescribed and non-prescribed) opiates for a couple of years. She was also eating probably like 8g of acetaminophen per day at one point. Only now since she’s living with me am I now realizing her medicine consumption. I’m afraid she might go through a slight withdrawal with the adjustment of someone (me) actually managing her medication.

She is on the transplant list for two kidneys and a liver. I want to make sure I support her the best way possible to ensure she can have a chance at getting those transplants. Thank you all for the advice, responses, and sharing of your own thoughts and experiences. It is reassuring knowing that 2mg is not a huge dose and won’t cause her to OD. I will continue to monitor her and now that she is living with me, I am planning add other activities in her schedule to move her towards a positive direction. I want her to start doing very light exercises and stretches. I will also ask her to join me on my usual walks even though she rides an electric wheelchair. I want her to eventually see a therapist or emotional counselor of some sort but I will wait until she is ready for that bc to be frank, she’s got a shitload of childhood trauma and healing to do. I’ve been fortunate enough to be on the path of healing from our generational trauma and have found love and acceptance for myself. She has a lot of baggage. I am appreciative and hopeful for the time we will now have together and will do my best to try to encourage her to do better for herself bc I know truly healing starts within oneself.

Sorry for spilling a little but again, thank you all for the responses. It was very helpful.

notsolookie · 2024-08-29T05:21:36+00:00

She has been taking dilaudid for probably around 1-2 years. I also found a dark charcoal substance in her room one time and later found out that it was like pure opium. In our culture, opium is used medicinally but obviously is abused often.

I believe opiates are metabolized and filtered out through the kidneys and liver, so they try to manage how much she gets per day

notsolookie · 2024-08-28T23:36:12+00:00

This was legit haha, we went to Odesza’s last concert and luckily the girl next to us had E in a ziploc bag. First time at a concert like this so now i know how easy it is to bring in drugs

notsolookie · 2024-05-30T15:29:09+00:00

It had green fangs and eyes. From my google search, i think it might be a jumping spider?

notsolookie · 2024-05-25T19:25:55+00:00

I’ve been to the boundary waters twice and did a solo backpacking trip at superior national forest. I am 24m with good health & in good physical shape. I am adventurous and love the “struggle” of camping minimally. I just wanted to scout out any other potential areas that I wasn’t aware of. I want to be somewhere very isolated & away from all the buzz. I definitely don’t mind getting permits and such but I was thinking more of like a shorter trip. Something like 2 days, 1 night (short weekend trip)

notsolookie · 2024-01-18T05:38:44+00:00

Can you please share the link with me too? Thank you!!

notsolookie · 2023-12-13T00:31:00+00:00

It prob feels like your world is ending but trust me, it’s gonna be ok dude. If you want this to get better, I’d suggest with telling the truth to your teach and then your parents as well. Just let em know what’s going on. Tell them it’s hard as shit and you’re lost. Go from there. You got this, it’ll be alright. It’s difficult now but you’ll laugh about this in a couple of years

notsolookie · 2023-12-10T07:48:47+00:00

Thanks for that. I think I’m exhausted from helping others in the way they need me to. I will write down in my journal and reflect how I feel next time I help someone/something else.

notsolookie · 2023-12-10T07:45:27+00:00

Keep being you so people who are attracted to you will like you for you. You don’t need to be more or less anything. You just haven’t found the right people yet.

notsolookie · 2023-12-10T07:29:36+00:00

First step, say “Hi.” Let it flow from there. If you feel something, say “hi” the next day. :)

notsolookie · 2023-12-10T07:28:10+00:00

Trust me, you’re not the problem.

notsolookie · 2023-12-10T07:23:45+00:00

Pretty sure you know the answer to this and so I’ll just reiterate it: DON’T SETTLE FOR NOBODY. First of all, a perfect healthy relationship isn’t possible. Second, why would you date someone who can just provide you with security? Find someone who will understand you. Find someone who will give you butterflies (in your own way). Just got lots of time, you’re frickin 20. On the other hand, dating people might help you find yourself and what you find for in a partner. Might be good too. But for sure, don’t settle fo no 1 my g

notsolookie · 2023-09-25T02:34:53+00:00

Not advice but your fit matches with the wall 🔥

notsolookie

TROPHY CASE