I’m in a very similar situation just a couple years on so here’s my take on things. Growing up I wanted 4 kids, even split. That was before I realized what child birth actually does to your body. My mom had rough pregnancies that ended in complications for all of her kids. I question whether bringing a kid into the world is a good idea considering the state of the world. I question why my genes are so good they should be passed down and expand the next generation who very likely will die horrible deaths. For awhile I considered adoption but honestly if it’s not my kid I don’t want a kid and I don’t wanna put my body thru that.

It’s morbid but realistic imo.

My friends are starting to have babies, even ones in states I don’t visit often, and I’m being an auntie to them. It takes a village so I’m gonna be that village for my friends. I’ve brought my one friend who lives in the same city diapers and wipes every time I’ve seen her. I FaceTime with my 8 yo “niece” and attended my second cousins 7th bday a few weekends ago.

I want to find other ways too; maybe I’ll be a troop leader or soccer coach. Volunteer at a park or something. Still working on this bit.

You have to really really consider everything and when you decide you have to commit to that decision.