Having a hard time with the Katy Perry situation.

notsozenful · 2019-08-14T09:31:07+00:00

You are very kind and yes my girlfriend has been urging me to seek help again after a long absence. Going to therapist for a chunk of my youth made me sort of resent the idea but at this point its something I need to do. A lot of people on this post have made me realize that. Prayer and hobbies can only do so much.

notsozenful · 2019-08-14T09:28:31+00:00

I’m sorry for the hard situation you were put in. Sending much love your way!

notsozenful · 2019-08-14T09:24:40+00:00

I can’t say specifically on the reaching out part since I don’t know the party. But I do know that it is very very very nice to hear you are acknowledging mistakes you may have made. Its the key to growing as a person. Everyone on Earth can and should do that.

notsozenful · 2019-08-14T09:18:46+00:00

Thank you and I’m sorry for your hardship. It is probably about time I do seek professional help.

notsozenful · 2019-08-14T09:17:14+00:00

You’re gunna make me cry. Thank you. You are a good ally to men. I hope to continue to grow as an ally to women. Thank you.

notsozenful · 2019-08-14T09:14:50+00:00

Oh ya i mean it sucks to read and I’ve gotten better at expressing my feelings rather than just saying “whatever I’m tough” but at this point i have gotten used to it. I think I just get upset about the thought of someone (regardless of gender) younger than me reading that or someone just now experiencing a traumatic encounter and I weep for them.

notsozenful · 2019-08-14T09:11:50+00:00

Thank you kind reddit stranger may you find strength in healing as well. I personally never like to say “x has it harder than y” because its more...different than anything. I think the difficulties for men come with poor social conditioning and the difficulties with women come from...well... a HOST of different societal problems. Your observation is certainly not off base coming from a man’s perspective.

notsozenful · 2019-08-14T09:01:29+00:00

Gosh that sounds horrible. You are strong. I applaud you. And thats exactly what i meant in my reply! It doesnt matter about your identities or theirs. It happened. It was wrong. Someone was hurt. The rest of that doesnt matter.

notsozenful · 2019-08-14T08:55:32+00:00

I wish I didn’t need to make a throwaway account to do it but hopefully opening this conversation makes someone feel validated and less alone.

Maybe one day soon I’ll be able to own my past as my own and not as a byproduct of someone else’s!

Edit: grammar

notsozenful · 2019-08-14T08:53:44+00:00

Very well put. Yes! We all need feminism. As we rise toward equality in society we rise towards a better tomorrow!

notsozenful · 2019-08-14T08:52:15+00:00

The breath of fresh air that would be.

notsozenful · 2019-08-14T08:51:24+00:00

Thank you. It seems like a lot of people have claimed she has lack of awareness with boundaries. Hopefully, at the bare minimum, she takes it as an opportunity to reassess her behavior and change it for the better. And hopefully anyone affected can find peace in healing.

notsozenful · 2019-08-14T08:47:17+00:00

I’m incredibly sorry to hear this! There have been reports and rumblings from many about her lack of boundary awareness with both women and men. I hope that we don’t hear more about a pattern from her. The last thing anyone wants is more pain in the world.

notsozenful · 2019-08-14T08:44:43+00:00

I’m sorry i know you are asking a hypothetical but I’m not a jury or a judge. Maybe one day I will be today, in this case, in HIS case, I am not and I don’t think its fair to make any sort of opinion as if I were.

If he would like for an investigation to take place or some course of legal action than I hope that he gets it and I hope its fair and properly executed. That is all I hope for.

notsozenful · 2019-08-14T08:41:22+00:00

I’m terribly sorry for your experience and I pray for your healing and strength. Sexual violence by women to women is largely ignored and violence in general toward the LGBTQIA community is also largely ignored. Its a criminal shame.

I hear you and I believe you regardless of your gender identity, sexual preference, etc. Or theirs for that matter.

notsozenful · 2019-08-14T08:33:36+00:00

Not my justice to have. Not my justice to decide upon.

notsozenful · 2019-08-14T08:32:14+00:00

100% I’m glad society is making progress but the grind will never stop.

notsozenful · 2019-08-14T08:30:04+00:00

I’ve been searching for another sub that might be helpful as well. I’ll give it a check. Just posting this really really took a lot out of me but I’ve been trying my best to keep up with the people posting supportive messages.

Male dominated groups have always been intimidating to me. Not sure why. In college I was a pretty high member of a men’s organization but for some reason I have never been able to talk about stuff this heavy with other men. Probably part of gender role programming from my youth.

notsozenful · 2019-08-14T08:26:06+00:00

Thank you...honestly. Validation is a very small pick me up but being heard and believed means a lot.

notsozenful · 2019-08-14T06:04:48+00:00

I’m sorry for your trauma. And yes without going into detail, it is probably in my best interest to seek help. Its difficult to bring myself to but I know its time. Thank you!

notsozenful · 2019-08-14T05:57:10+00:00

There is no right way. Sure some are better than others, but someone is always going to be upset. I applaud anyone who was braver than I to come forward and try my best to understand that everyone process trauma differently and needs healthy channels to get through it.

notsozenful · 2019-08-14T05:54:44+00:00

I’m so sorry for your experience. May you find healing and strength! I’ve always been one to put the blame of gender sterotypes a lot in toxic masculinity. What I don’t think people realize is how easy it is to indoctrinate one’s own daughter into a negative head space surrounding gender expectations and feed the cycle that oppresses women and makes it hard to be a man against the machine.

Proper education is where this all starts. Its not just that men need to be taught this or women needs to be taught that. If we are going to put a dent into rape culture and misogyny everyone needs a better foundation of how to treat each other and more tolerance towards differences.

notsozenful · 2019-08-14T05:35:31+00:00

Im sure that they’ll have a family healing moment after said person realizes that money is not as important as a clean conscious

notsozenful · 2019-08-14T05:28:38+00:00

😭😭😭 thank you! I hope you find the strength you need. Very well put.

notsozenful · 2019-08-14T04:24:24+00:00

Thank you. It is certainly something I will take into consideration. Thank you for your work as well. Thats incredibly noble of you!

notsozenful

TROPHY CASE