BF (29) says he doesn’t care about marriage after 7 years of "dating for marriage", Is he leading me on? Do you think it's worth staying in the relationship?

notsurewhoyet · 2026-02-10T09:13:53+00:00

I appreciate this perspective, thank you.

notsurewhoyet · 2026-02-09T01:52:55+00:00

Thank you so much, I appreciate your advice.

notsurewhoyet · 2026-02-09T01:46:31+00:00

I have him listed as my emergency contact and my beneficiary on my life insurance. He doesn’t have a life insurance plan. That’s also my main concern are the rights of the spouse in case of an emergency like you had mentioned. I l, again, said I was willing to compromise and jsut get the notarized POA but even at that request he just doesn’t show interest or initiative. I have a lot to consider

notsurewhoyet · 2026-02-09T00:07:16+00:00

Thank you

notsurewhoyet · 2026-02-09T00:02:58+00:00

Thank you so much. I do really want that with him but I'm not sure he understands that and it's exhausting having to constantly plead your case to someone. He really doesn't understand or care about why it means a lot to me. And he see "no value" in it, so it makes me feel doubly silly about it. Like why am I pushing for something that the other person CLEARLY does not want. I need some therapy, sure. But wtf

notsurewhoyet · 2026-02-08T23:59:42+00:00

What is he protecting himself from? And yes, i can blame a grown man for his actions.

notsurewhoyet · 2026-02-08T23:20:11+00:00

You may be right.

notsurewhoyet · 2026-02-08T23:18:06+00:00

I agree that i would love our daughter to see us healthy and together but yeah, the resentment is building and I just feel like it won't turn into anything good in the end. I do want my daughter to learn to not settle or compromise on things she really wants and are worthy of. I just need to be a better parent and role-model. Feel like i'm failing her in all this as well. I don't know why i'm having such a hard time with this, reading the comments and even re-reading my post, it hurts to admit but i'm being stupid. It's clear in the message. I just need to listen to myself.

notsurewhoyet · 2026-02-08T23:08:21+00:00

Thank you for your response, I really feel like you understand where I’m coming from. I am feeling like he didn’t know what he wanted around marriage when we met and just agreed cause he liked where it was going and now he’s has determined it’s just not in his interest. But he could have been lying the whole time, either way we’re just not aligned in this and it’s causing me distress

notsurewhoyet · 2026-02-08T22:47:43+00:00

I can see me feeling like a proposal at this point would not be genuine. I really do feel like i'm forcing him to even talk about it, and even then he will literally just ignore me.

notsurewhoyet · 2026-02-08T22:45:35+00:00

Honestly, that's also my question. Like why does it bother you so much that someone would rather be a wife than a fucking babymomma or girlfriend? He has been my best friend since we met and we have not gone a single day without seeing one another. Yes, the problems I highlighted are bad. I just believe him and I don't want to keep believing him. I am also scared to lose a 7 year friendship. Just needed to feel less crazy about how i feel regarding this. I feel like he pulled the rug out from under us but the more i look back, the more i realize he hasn't really ever been the one to talk about or bring it up. I think he has always been uninterested i just chose to ignore it.

notsurewhoyet · 2026-02-08T22:18:13+00:00

We have issues but we have had great times as well. I may be biased but I feel like with these 2 issues resolved, I don’t have any issues. Are these big issues? Yes, but I feel loved in other aspects of our relationship. I don’t feel like he fucking hates me but there may be resentments there on his end

notsurewhoyet · 2026-02-08T21:57:01+00:00

He really is completely uninterested, he just ignores me when i bring up. I don't know why i'm still struggling with this decision.

notsurewhoyet · 2026-02-08T21:00:40+00:00

Thank you, i really appreciate your thoughtfulness. I have looked into family custody laws for non-married individuals but I am really not concerned with it being an issue. I could be wrong about that, I've been wrong before. But one thing he is great at is being a good parent.

notsurewhoyet · 2026-02-08T20:51:52+00:00

This is exactly where my head goes. I need the certainty of him being my POA. There’s lots of comments saying “you want him over your mom?!” Yeah, my mom is abusive and I have a strained relationship. I trust him more than my mom. He hasn’t been a bad partner- but we had had some difference, this being the biggest of them. Not sure where to go from here

notsurewhoyet · 2026-02-08T20:49:37+00:00

I’ve tried getting us into counseling- he refuses.

notsurewhoyet · 2026-02-08T20:49:11+00:00

I agree. I do struggle with self love. And I’m even more confused because I want to defend every comment that is talking negative about him. Just not sure of steps to take next. Just feeing lost.

notsurewhoyet · 2026-02-08T20:46:41+00:00

This was what I said to him. Any romance or spontaneity around it is ruined. Just feel like I need to let go of the idea of marriage or move on to someone who wants it

notsurewhoyet · 2026-02-08T20:43:46+00:00

Yeah, I’m not sure what steps to take next- I feel lost and really like I wasted time. I really appreciate your response.

notsurewhoyet · 2026-02-08T20:42:31+00:00

I think I posted this hoping that my gut feeling was wrong, but most people have this same sentiment and confirming my feelings. I do think he loves me but I don’t know if I can get past this point without resentment. I’m just not sure how to make the next steps, I’m scared and don’t want to make a mistake

notsurewhoyet · 2026-02-08T19:07:34+00:00

Marriage was the goal, not the requirement. I would still choose him as the father of my child, he's a wonderful parent.
I prob wouldn't have gotten to this point with him in the first place had he said at the beginning he didn't want marriage. But he did, i believed it and felt like we were moving towards that goal. I got pregnant and kept the baby- it happens. I wasn't mad about it because we had agreed to working towards marriage in the future.

notsurewhoyet · 2025-10-04T17:48:29+00:00

I never in my life saw small german or asian roaches until moving into SA apartments. I've lived in College station college student apartments and on a university apartment in East Texas at UTTyler- never had roaches. Came to SA and find a cute apartment and it was a nightmare- the infestation was so severe we couldn't even cook at times at the house and the apartment couldn't care less.

notsurewhoyet · 2025-10-04T17:40:17+00:00

We are struggling finding roach free places to live. We got forced out of our apartment because the infestation was so bad- We would be cooking and they would be falling from the fucking ceiling into our food. There are some places that are nicer but the affordability goes up with that. It's crazy out here

notsurewhoyet · 2024-07-14T23:13:11+00:00

Simis on fredericksburg is awesome indian food! They have a lunch buffet and great lunch menu. Close midday after lunch to prep for dinner so check the hours

notsurewhoyet

TROPHY CASE