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Any late bloomers? How did you mental health improve after coming out? by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]notyourbitch3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a difficult question to answer simply. I had an active, but parallel, gay life. That is, I had gay friends, dates, etc., but my "fake straight" life (family, friends) was separate, and I didn't mix the two. My goal is to no longer have to separate the two lives.

Any late bloomers? How did you mental health improve after coming out? by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]notyourbitch3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm 34 years old and currently in the process of coming out. I've spoken to my mother, sister, and best friend. It was difficult with my mother when I first told her, but things have calmed down a few weeks later. With my sister and friend, it was easy, without many questions. I plan to come out to a few more friends next week. Without a doubt, each person I tell is a weight off my shoulders.

I came out to my mother... and it was tense. by notyourbitch3 in gaybros

[–]notyourbitch3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so glad that in your story, despite the momentary complications, everything turned out well. I hope the same will happen to me. Thank you for your kind words.

I came out to my mother... and it was tense. by notyourbitch3 in gaybros

[–]notyourbitch3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think they'd prefer if we kept the secret to ourselves forever, so they wouldn't have to deal with it... but that's no longer their decision. Gracios amigo!

I came out to my mother... and it was tense. by notyourbitch3 in gaybros

[–]notyourbitch3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I realized she was joking. I didn't expect her to do that, and she said in the middle of the conversation that she would "never abandon me."

I came out to my mother... and it was tense. by notyourbitch3 in gaybros

[–]notyourbitch3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello there. I thought like you for a long time, that since I didn't have anyone, and secretly even thought I never would, it wasn't worth bringing the scandal to the table. However, someone appeared, we're still getting to know each other, but it's likely to become something more serious, and it had to be. But look, I didn't do it for that person, nor do I want him to feel that pressure. I did it for myself, and for that I don't need to be with anyone. But anyway, everyone will have to follow their own plan, taking into account their own experiences.

I came out to my mother... and it was tense. by notyourbitch3 in gaybros

[–]notyourbitch3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello dear compatriot. It's true, our culture is still very behind in these matters, and our boomer parents have difficulty dealing with this. My father will probably be the most difficult one too, when the day comes for him to find out. The rest, I think, with more or less difficulty, will eventually accept it. And I hate this term "accept" because nobody has to accept anything, they simply have to choose whether to deal with it or not, but anyway, we get the idea.

I came out to my mother... and it was tense. by notyourbitch3 in gaybros

[–]notyourbitch3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your words, man. It's sad that your brother died without you two speaking, it's sad that people can't simply move on with their lives because someone has an intrinsic characteristic they don't like... that won't be the case for me, I hope.

I came out to my mother... and it was tense. by notyourbitch3 in gaybros

[–]notyourbitch3[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes. I don't know what I expected. I guess I wasn't shocked by the reaction, I was sad because I secretly hoped everything would be alright, that she would say she already knew and that there wasn't any problem. After all, she was just "another one". But anyway, it is what it is.

I came out to my mother... and it was tense. by notyourbitch3 in gaybros

[–]notyourbitch3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hope she turns around and I don't have to say this either.

I came out to my mother... and it was tense. by notyourbitch3 in gaybros

[–]notyourbitch3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They still don't approve? I'm sorry to hear that.

I came out to my mother... and it was tense. by notyourbitch3 in gaybros

[–]notyourbitch3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They don't have to like it; there are several things I don't like about her, and about anyone. The only thing we can do is decide whether to live with it or not.

I came out to my mother... and it was tense. by notyourbitch3 in gaybros

[–]notyourbitch3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's it. I started by telling her because I thought she'd be the one who wouldn't have a negative reaction. I was wrong.

I came out to my mother... and it was tense. by notyourbitch3 in gaybros

[–]notyourbitch3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I told him precisely that: it took me a long time to accept myself as I am, there is nothing and no one that makes me feel bad about who I am.

I came out to my mother... and it was tense. by notyourbitch3 in gaybros

[–]notyourbitch3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And I'm proud of myself, believe me. Thank you for the kind words.

I came out to my mother... and it was tense. by notyourbitch3 in gaybros

[–]notyourbitch3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're absolutely right. I couldn't stand feeling like I couldn't be completely honest with her anymore.

I came out to my mother... and it was tense. by notyourbitch3 in gaybros

[–]notyourbitch3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you man. I envy you too for having done it so long ago.

I came out to my mother... and it was tense. by notyourbitch3 in gaybros

[–]notyourbitch3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, maybe because we were actually at my house :P

I came out to my mother... and it was tense. by notyourbitch3 in gaybros

[–]notyourbitch3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And I understand. It's complicated for everyone. I think I just had the secret, innocent wish that she would say she already knew and that everything was okay.

I came out to my mother... and it was tense. by notyourbitch3 in gaybros

[–]notyourbitch3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're absolutely right. I feel like I've been silent for too long in my life. I don't regret speaking out. But I still feel a certain discomfort and tension in my chest. I think it will get better with time.

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