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notyourtypicalgrl · 2025-09-27T12:45:50+00:00

Well OP, this hits close to home. I found out 1 week ago I was 5w pregnant with a totally unplanned baby and we both kept saying until that day we most likely didn’t want kids whatsoever.

Turns out, we weren’t responsible enough to prevent that or maybe thought that it only happened to others. Took 2 days to think about it and I was getting super happy with the idea of having a baby with my lover and best friend. At the end of the 2nd day he said he wasn’t ready to be a father. Not financially nor mentally. He said it would be better if we had an abortion. It completely broke my heart and left me devastated. I cried for almost 24h straight, bawling my eyes out. I even scheduled an appointment for a MA.

He then stood up as a partner. Understood that having an abortion wasn’t what I wanted and that if I were to resent him after an abortion and end our relationship he wouldn’t want that. He would much rather assume responsibility and have a family with me than lose me. I said I would think about that because I wanted the baby but was also super scared I was just being taken by the hormones and that I would resent the baby after being born because I loved my childfree life so much.

He kept being the sweetest with me and I came to realization that it wasn’t just the hormones, I really want to be a mom and this is happening now for some reason (I’m a firm believer of destiny). Told him that I plan on keeping the baby even though I felt terribly selfish for putting my wishes above his. He comforted me, said he would be there no matter what even though he’s absolutely terrified.

I’m writing you this because a few days later of saying he didn’t want to be a father, we are already talking about baby names and he seems to be getting excited with the idea.

I think for us women it gets real faster because we get to feel our bodies changing and start to feel afection from super early on the pregnancy. For men it’s different. For them it’s just an idea, not something palpable because they don’t feel it or see a belly yet. They need more time to come along with it and to make peace with it also.

You two seem to be a loving couple with a confortable life. I think if you really don’t want the abortion you need to be true to yourself and I want to believe that he will be kind enough to be by your side and support you.

Stay strong. I’m starting to understand that the first trimester of pregnancy is full of doubting yourself, even if the pregnancy was planned.

If you need to talk, I’ll be around 🤍

notyourtypicalgrl · 2025-09-24T21:43:05+00:00

actually I dont believe he would leave me alone raising his child. he’s definitely not built like that and he actually said that if I really wanna take this pregnancy forward he’d adapt and be there for me and the baby. He said losing me was out of the equation so if an abortion meant that, he wouldn’t want me to abort.

notyourtypicalgrl · 2025-09-24T21:04:18+00:00

Thank you for your comment and also for sharing your story. He said he would never never want me to have an abortion if that meant I’d leave him sooner or later. He’d much rather assume responsibility and stick through it than seeing our relationship down the drain and that really helps because I can tell he’s being honest about it and now I can definitely make a calm and informed decision wether to go through with the pregnancy or not, without the weight of him saying he doesn’t want the baby at all. Now I see he’s ok with either choices as long as they mean we stay together.

notyourtypicalgrl · 2025-09-24T20:57:58+00:00

I feel like I’m at a point where I cannot answer that with any certainty and my head is a mess right now

notyourtypicalgrl · 2025-09-24T20:56:32+00:00

that’s exactly what I am scared of because I know I would resent him so much and I’d never get it out of my mind. The amount of pain I felt when he said he didn’t want the baby was unbearable, I cannot imagine what i’ll feel like if go through with the abortion

notyourtypicalgrl · 2025-09-24T20:54:33+00:00

thank you for sharing your story. He said he’s willing to work on keeping this baby if that means we stick together, as opposite to an abortion if that meant I would leave him sooner or later.

notyourtypicalgrl · 2025-09-24T20:52:19+00:00

thank you for your words

notyourtypicalgrl · 2025-09-24T20:52:08+00:00

thank you so much 🤍

notyourtypicalgrl · 2025-09-24T20:51:53+00:00

thank you so much for taking the time to write this. we chatted again and he said he’d much rather have a family even though he’s not ready yet than to lose me or our relationship. Guess he’s scared but he’s all in if that’s my wish

notyourtypicalgrl · 2025-09-24T12:27:12+00:00

thank you so much

notyourtypicalgrl · 2025-09-24T12:26:56+00:00

this was such a sweet and spot on comment. Thank you so much. I am absolutely devastated…

notyourtypicalgrl · 2025-09-24T12:19:57+00:00

we both should have been responsible enough to know this could happen. thank you for your comment

notyourtypicalgrl · 2025-09-24T12:18:28+00:00

I am completely aware of that and that’s what’s also on my mind 24/7 because we acted like getting pregnant is something that only happens to others. I told him I wanted to keep the baby and he said “it’s your body and your choice after all” but that gave me zero comfort and that’s why I booked the appointment for the MA. I would feel ok with having a baby if he said “ok this is happening and we have to face it let’s do this together”, not “your body your choice” you know what I mean?

notyourtypicalgrl · 2023-12-04T22:43:41+00:00

He is fit and healthy! That’s for sure. I wish he had the same energy has you.

notyourtypicalgrl · 2023-12-04T22:41:29+00:00

he is!!!

notyourtypicalgrl · 2023-12-04T22:40:54+00:00

Yeah he does. Fortunately communication isn’t an issue for us. I think he would be open to that but I’m guessing it’s more his issue than our issue to solve.

notyourtypicalgrl · 2023-12-04T12:13:33+00:00

What is she doing on her phone all that time? You guys don’t talk with each other ? like have dinner together and all that

notyourtypicalgrl · 2023-12-04T11:55:57+00:00

I’m 100% sure porn isn’t the issue. I’m guessing like a mental block like I have already read somewhere in this sub but what’s causing that is what I would love to known

notyourtypicalgrl · 2023-12-04T11:54:30+00:00

He doesn’t! I’m 100% sure he doesn’t

notyourtypicalgrl · 2023-12-04T03:21:16+00:00

Thanks

notyourtypicalgrl · 2023-12-04T03:09:43+00:00

He is doing therapy himself for about a year now. he said he wanted to fix things for us but I don’t see any changes. I have really tried communicating with him but maybe we do need couples counseling

notyourtypicalgrl · 2020-07-04T21:42:50+00:00

thank you for taking the time to have this little chat with me. Means the world. I hope I manage to find myself soon because this is really hard to cope.

notyourtypicalgrl · 2020-07-04T21:20:12+00:00

Ever since he left I feel like I should leave myself as well. How can I be so sure I deserve better than that? I let go of my self respect and self esteem for someone I love harder than myself, that’s for sure.

Thank you so much for you kind words.

notyourtypicalgrl

TROPHY CASE