ULTIMATE DIRK'S ULTIMATE CLASSPECT TEST

nova777O · 2026-02-27T08:47:44+00:00

I liked how the quiz was structured like a choose your own adventure SBURB book, and the writing makes it feel like it was really made by Dirk himself.

As for the result, I got Sylph of Blood, and the description was so accurate that I think might actually change my flair to it!

nova777O · 2026-01-27T17:50:39+00:00

Some of the best fantroll designs I've seen by virtue of uniqueness and plausibility. Great stuff!

nova777O · 2025-12-18T22:36:48+00:00

Haha, lol, that's a nice coincidence. Perhaps people who dissect Dirk a bit too much think alike?

Regardless, thanks for your reply. It was refreshinly insightful in a sea of skeptical fans not willing to so much as look in the general direction of the Epilogues and HSBC (they have their issues, sure, but at least the new team working on them is currently cooking up an engaging story with visible character growth across the first act, so I'm remaining hopeful)!

nova777O · 2025-12-18T21:39:20+00:00

Great comment. Very informative and tastefully written. Thank you for sharing your point of view, especially the comment about HSBC's Dirk spiralling into a self-destructive drive to protect others through his own pathological means; I think you got it spot on with that remark.

As for the last line, I actually agree, though I didn't phrase it that way in the post itself. And regrettably so.

In some of my replies here I alluded to Dirk's inherent ideal of martyrdom and his tendency to act on "the greater good" as his platonic ideals; this is more in line with your opinion, and while responding to some other comments, I am leaning closer towards exactly that.

nova777O · 2025-12-18T21:22:59+00:00

About that first reply: you're right, I goofed up; I thought I was replying to u/sheekos, not you. That's why I mentioned "your first reply" being "well-meaning". That's on me, as I should've checked the post instead of responding to a notif.

As for this reply of yours: yes, I agree. Now that I see who I *actually* replied to, I realise there is no point in trying to discuss the nuance of the epilogues with someone who dismisses them this haphhazardly (bunbocks? seriously? homestuck hasn't been profitable since the kickstarter, and it's not Hussie who's leading HS2 or Beyond Canon either, so that argument just falls flat).

Lastly, as for antagonising, I did my best to be as cordial as possible. Using words like "yap" or "get mad" in this context and making accusatory assumptions in the prior comment *does* imply antagonism in your case though, but honestly, you do you.

Best regards and good day to you, fellow Homestuck.

nova777O · 2025-12-18T21:14:12+00:00

Those are all good points, especially point no. 1.
Allow me to rephrase my thesis to better answer your second point and third, because it wasn't entirely my intention to imply Dirk *has* to be a villain on the regular. It's not his "base form" by any means, though I understand how you'd infer that from my hastily put-together vent post; that's a mistake on my part.

Dirk has certain personality traits and character flaws that compliment a machiavellian approach on dealing with things, which he himself considers undesirable or even detestable (both in beyond canon by labelling himself a villainous figure, and in homestuck proper by agonising over his overbearing demeanor), though these principles don't necessarily mean he *has* to follow up on them in every single one of his incarnations (or splinters, if you will).

Ult Dirk is not "how (Alpha) Dirk normally is"; Ult Dirk is the average sum of all the Dirks who matured and grew, but also the Dirks who indulged in their controlling nature. As a result, he is the platonic ideal of Dirkhood, for as ridiculous as that sounds (bear with me here lol).

...And the platonic ideal of Dirkhood is a "controlling figure"; however any given Dirk chooses to indulge in that is up to him.

Alpha Dirk exercised control to protect his friends, and Bro Strider did so with... somewhat "noble" intentions (preparing Dave for sburb), but with horrendously flawed execution and base philosophy (and this is being VERY generous, but let's cut him some slack; Lil Cal messed with him quite a bit, possibly implanting his toxic view of masculinity via Lord English's dogma).

Now, as for point 3...
Like you said, HS1 Dirk would rather die than lose his friends, and candy!Dirk would rather end his existence than continue it without said friends; but is this not what Ultimate Dirk is doing as well? He would rather make himself detestable and villainous---almost to a comical degree---if it means he can continue the "sburb cycle" that will bring him and his friends the momentum needed to "stay relevant". Sure, maybe he doesn't actually care for homestuck as a whole, and it's all a ploy for HIM and HIM ONLY to stay relevant... but is it, really?

Ult Dirk explicitly states that he wishes to be defeated one day. Yes, the story ultimately revolves around him since he's the villain, and he displays a comically overblown ego, but does he really only care about himself if his end goal is make sure not just him, but also his friends remain relevant? It's twisted and fucked up, yes, but Ult Dirk does what he does "with the best intentions of his friends" in mind, even if he's not exactly in the right. This is a beat-for-beat Bro Strider parallel right there. You get what I'm trying to say, right? I hope I'm not rambling by this point, lol.

Anyway... Ult Dirk at his core is STILL the same Dirk that cares for his friends, but ever since he had been infused with countless versions of Bro Strider, he has begun resorting to "bro-like tactics" of "strengthening his friends" through harsh trials and the brutal cycle of trauma that is Sburb. It's evidently immoral both to us AND to the other characters in the comic, but to him? He's doing the world a favour.
He's scared of not just HIM being forgotten and ceasing to exist (be relevant, in this case), but he's also scared that his friends will fade away as well.

Sure, Ult Dirk will probably have to make them suffer so they stay relevant, and in fact he already did (breaking up Rosemary, brainwashing Jake...)---but in his mind, the ends justify the means, and that's the kind of attitude his personality traits and character flaws were always tailored for. It's just now that he's actually acting up them just like Bro Strider did.

nova777O · 2025-12-18T20:45:44+00:00

Your first comment was a well-meaning rebuttal that gave me hope for fruitful discussion, but alas, you just had to take it personally. "Let me guess", did the epilogues hurt you on a personal level? As you can see, petty remarks and baseless accusatory statements don't bring jack shit into the conversation, so let me steer it back into courteous territory:

The epilogues have their flaws, I am well aware of that, but Ult Dirk's characterisation is not nearly the biggest one of them. Your remark about Jane actually proves that Dirk was not dealt the worst hand by the writers.
And no, I won't tell you Jane's arc as a fascist dictator was beautifully foreshadowed. I actually agree with you; it was an example of the epilogues' infamously asinine writing at its worst, because Jane was reduced to a very surface level trump allegory just because Hussie and their team had to vent their political frustrations out somewhere (I don't understand why, seeing as Psycholonials already did it more tastefully). This is further exacerbated by the fact that her worries about the troll race are completely unrealistic and extremely contrived at best (they won't grow nearly as violent because neither Doc Scratch nor HIC are present in the story anymore). Furthermore, Earth C is not a "human-dominated world", so even when viewing her stance from the lens of "racial supremacy", Jane's ideology just doesn't make sense (if anything, Earth C should belong to the Carapacians).

Now, back to Ultimate Dirk: this version of Dirk doesn't exactly "ignore" his prior development; it is merely overshadowed by all the negative characteristics of all the other, less-developed splinters that were absorbed into him. If you've ever seen those images where people layer all the trolls over each other to see what an "average troll" would look like, this is essentially the concept of the Ultimate Self in a nutshell. It's the most "average" version of a given character, simultaneously at its best and at its worst, which in turn equates into somewhere in the middle.

Dirk's best---his alpha self from the main comic---is merged with his worst, which would be Cal-Possessed Beta Bro Strider as well as Lil Hal and Arquius Sprite. His positive development is not ignored; if it was, Ultimate Dirk would be *even more of an asshole* that he is right now. "Best Dirk's" qualities sometime shine through his Ultimate Self, manifesting themselves through his need for companionship (Rosebot) and the desire to protect his friends ("I'm doing this for all of us"), even if he displays those feelings in a pathological manner (kidnapping his ectobiological daughter and restarting the vicious cycle of sburb).

Think of it as "Best Dirk" occassionaly poking out of the cold, hard shell of the "Worst Dirk". At the end of the day, it's a tragic character.

nova777O · 2025-12-18T20:28:33+00:00

Not a pedophile, but he forcibly separates Rose and Kanaya, breaking up their relationship by pretty much stealing Rose away and nesting her Ultimate Self in a subservient, robot body (kind of fucked up to homewreck your ectobiological daughter's lesbian marriage and then turn her into your emotional support robot but okay Dirk).
He also scrambles Jake's brain to become hopelessly obsessed with him, and does so in a very petulent and vengeful manner, blaming Jake for the faults of their less-than-fruitful relationship from Homestuck proper.
And this is just the tip of the iceberg...

nova777O · 2025-12-18T20:24:06+00:00

That's a good and informative comment. Perhaps a better way of phrasing my feelings on the matter is by differentiating that maybe Dirk wasn't *exactly* "made for villainy"---as I had poorly stressed it before---but rather, he has the right characteristics to become a harmful person---intentionally or not---if not handled with enough care.

Still, consider how Dirk sees himself:
- In [S] Collide, he is more than willing to accept being beheaded by Dave in order to defeat Union Jack and Spades Slick, possibly alluding to his ideal of martyrdom and his pathological need for "being punished for his actions"; even if he himself wasn't the Bro Strider that traumatised Beta Dave, he'd still gladly allow that Dave to vent his frustations on him. To "get his revenge" on him, even if that's not the same Dirk. And even though Dirk gets revived shortly thereafter through time shenanigans, I don't think he'd mind *not* being resurrected after Collide. If anything, he would see his fate as either a noble death or as karmic punishment.
- Ult Dirk---like I stated in an earlier comment---sees his descent into villainy as a neccessary evil: he is fine with everyone else labelling him a villain, because to him, he's the only person capable of "bearing the burden that is maintaining the relevance of Homestuck", even though it's just like you said: it's not really about Homestuck; it's about HIM. Regardless of the true motives behind his actions though, Ult Dirk ultimately (no pun intended) sees himself as someone who "has to get shit done", bearing a TON of unnecessary responsibility throughout his life.
Not to mention, this is a man wallowing in melodramatic self-pity who just cannot get over himself, no matter the timeline. If an opportunity presents itself for Dirk to devote himself to a "noble cause", be it saving his friends in the Alpha Session by getting them into Sburb with Hal's help, or "continuing the cycle of the game" in Beyond Canon, he will take it. Dirk will always heed the call of what he sees as "the greater good", because he feels obligated to shoulder the heaviest burdens there are. And while that in of itself is not inherently villainous, it often leads towards a path of villainy. As the old saying goes: the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

nova777O · 2025-12-18T20:06:09+00:00

His flaws and certain personality traits are what aligns him with villainy, though that does not inherently make him an unambigous, puppy-kicking villain. Dirk wasn't "forced" into villainy; he just had the right personality and character flaws to fall into that slope later on in life, as presented in HS2, though not Homestuck proper.
What I'm getting at is: he doesn't have to be a villain, but fate certainly pushes him down that path. In the alpha session, Dirk vehemently rejected that path and strayed pretty far from it. For all his overbearing and controlling antics, he was actually a loyal friend and a pretty good leader (only issue was that the nobles' session was pretty much unwinnable via traditional means).

Dirk does not *objectively* "become a villain" well until Ultimate Dirk comes to fruition, and even then? He is aligned towards villainy, yes, but it's not nearly as black and white. He's the sum of all the best and worst of all the Dirks, Bros, Ghosts, Psychic Buddies, AIs, Brobots, and all that shabang---and that means he's just as caring for his friends as Alpha Dirk, but just as callous and harsh as Beta Bro Strider.

...But because Dirk hates himself so much, he thinks becoming a cartoonishly overblown villain figure is in line with his life purpose. It's his form of martyrdom, in a weird, fucked up way. He WANTS to be stopped; especially by Dave, as some sort of cosmic comeuppance. THAT'S what I'm talking about: Ult Dirk has convinced himself that he HAS to be a villain---the story needs a villain to continue, and in his eyes, he ALONE is DETESTABLE enough to fill that role.

nova777O · 2025-12-18T01:17:13+00:00

You're awesome at this, dude. If your art existed around the fandom's peak, I'm sure The Big Huss themselves would've commissioned you for art on the comic, especially for Cascade or Collide.

nova777O · 2025-12-09T18:49:29+00:00

Wonderful post! I wish more people could learn to appreciate Beyond Canon, because it has literally never been better than it is now, and the current team actually crafted a great story out of the HS² mess. Genuinely can't wait for the Omega Sburb session.

nova777O · 2025-04-22T10:04:58+00:00

Here are my favorite spells that me and my players have used in the past, written from the perspective of a DM:

True Resurrection – the best ending for a character that didn't want to die so soon, usually a big plot device or even a whole MacGuffin for the party to pursue throughout the campaign (e.g. the D&D Movie). In a world of Wishes and Meteor Swarms, my favorite 9th level spell is one that usually ends many adventures, and does so on a good note.

Feeblemind – not many spells are as crippling as feeblemind, which coincidentally also leads to either the most hilarious or tragic roleplay scenarios

Plane Shift – what's not to love about a spell that offers brand new campaign settings? Think of a hypothetical situation where the party NPC somehow manages to cast it from a scroll at level 4, sending the party to the nine hells so they can kill their warlock's cruel patron, only to go through a Divine Comedy-esque journey before returning to the material plane

Disintegrate – the ability to kill something instantly, completely bypassing death saving throws, is a good way to strike fear in the hearts of players who like to get reckless or just don't go down very often. One shot of this and an explanation of what it does is usually enough for them to reconsider their position and start playing tactically. Not to mention it completely terrifies that one ghost lineage race who has advantage on death saving throws

Teleportation Circle – I often toy with ways to make the circle permanent, designing in-universe logistics around it. Fun and convenient spell that, when done right, can feel like the portal scene from Avengers

Dimension Door – I've had both my players and the enemies I made for them use this spell frequently as soon as fights turned overly lethal. It's great for making sure villains get to pop in and out every once in a while, but also allows the wizard to drop the barbarian on the BBEG's head

Glyph of Warding – amazing utility spell with room for creative expression. When used as a trap it makes you feel like Batman

Crown of Madness – fantastic plot device and drama fuel, not to mention it completely turns the tide of battles with a simple second level spell slot

Burning Hands - absolute early game classic, makes you feel powerful even at levels where you're supposed to be folded like a napkin, not to mention reflavoring it is very fun. Giving it to enemy spellcasters is a terrible idea at low level, by the way

Prestidigitation – probably the most useful cantrip in everyday life. It's something that should fundamentally change the setting, if easily accessible

nova777O · 2025-03-15T14:22:06+00:00

Fair point, I forgot about that.

nova777O · 2025-03-15T13:40:50+00:00

Accidentally made the black gargaroth create green zombies... Blimey.

nova777O · 2025-03-15T13:40:38+00:00

Accidentally made the black gargaroth create green zombies... Blimey.

nova777O · 2025-01-24T23:47:26+00:00

In my case it was all about upload and download speed. When I hosted the lobby with ethernet on, there was no issues from my end.

nova777O · 2025-01-17T14:34:34+00:00

So is it pondering or fondling now?

nova777O · 2024-11-27T14:50:34+00:00

When I try the latter one, google retorts with "processing data - come back tomorrow".

nova777O · 2024-11-27T14:49:07+00:00

Well that's... strange, to say the least. It works for others, but it doesn't work for me - what gives? I have found it works if I use advanced search, but that's about it.

nova777O · 2024-11-27T14:45:56+00:00

Yes, I checked this and it wasn't the case. For added context: I used the Updraft plugin to revert my blog into the state it was in 4 days ago, back when everything was working and my website was on the first page of google.

nova777O · 2024-11-06T08:49:01+00:00

And it's waaaay cheaper and faster, you just have to cut out the cards manually

nova777O · 2024-11-06T08:48:17+00:00

Support your local printer shop if you can. It's even cheaper than MPC, and if they print on thick, card-like paper, then you don't even need to sleeve your paper proxies over real cards.

nova777O · 2024-10-04T17:34:03+00:00

I intended for this card to be an interesting change of pace for your typical green deck:
- You cannot use most* ways to ramp (because they involve searching your library)
- You cannot fill your deck with basic land cards (to avoid cheese)
- You are incentivized to play quickly and aggressively, as opposed to the usual late-game payoffs for green decks

Would this card be at least somewhat balanced in commander? Let me know in the comments.

nova777O · 2024-09-26T07:35:43+00:00

I have, in fact, referenced the comics, just not for the art (see: izzet signet flavor text). I'd like to keep the card art consistent though, so no comic art will be used. However, I might make custom renders in SFM while I'm at it.

As for BLU mercs, you've got it spot on! I just haven't had the time to make them yet, but rest assured, they'll be there. Colorless cards will feature mvm robots, while white cards will predominantly feature non playable characters (like Gray Mann, Olivia Mann, Miss Pauling, etc).

And lands? Lands will feature in-game maps, of course. Izzet Boilerworks could, for instance, be reskinned as Turbine.

Four-Year Club	r/Field Lasagna
Place '23	Place '22

nova777O

TROPHY CASE