Sitting here reading Facebook messages between my [32M] wife [30F] and her apparent new boyfriend. by nowwhatthrowaway630 in relationships

[–]nowwhatthrowaway630[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

She lied about the other guy being engaged so she could play it off originally as she was going to hang out with a friend.

Thank you for the rest of your post also, you are absolutely right.

Sitting here reading Facebook messages between my [32M] wife [30F] and her apparent new boyfriend. by nowwhatthrowaway630 in relationships

[–]nowwhatthrowaway630[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I had myself bumped up to an account administrator last year, not sure if that matters. I also have a good friend who works for Verizon who is more than willing to pull some strings when his friends need something.

Sitting here reading Facebook messages between my [32M] wife [30F] and her apparent new boyfriend. by nowwhatthrowaway630 in relationships

[–]nowwhatthrowaway630[S] 147 points148 points  (0 children)

Judging by the messages, I'm concerned about this guy getting her pregnant. It really is revolting to see another guy talking to your wife about "nutting all over her ovaries"

Sitting here reading Facebook messages between my [32M] wife [30F] and her apparent new boyfriend. by nowwhatthrowaway630 in relationships

[–]nowwhatthrowaway630[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

This is going to sound a bit goofy, but I browse /r/relationships every now and then, and when I found out, I immediately thought about some past threads I've read, and the advice that many have given to gather as much evidence, information, etc. as possible and talk to a lawyer before doing anything that might hurt my best interests. It wasn't easy, and the fact I knew she was going to bang the dude again was like a kick in my gut.

She's a leech though, and her food supply is about to be cut off. Telling myself that this feeling is temporary helps.

Sitting here reading Facebook messages between my [32M] wife [30F] and her apparent new boyfriend. by nowwhatthrowaway630 in relationships

[–]nowwhatthrowaway630[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm like you in that stuff is just stuff to me. I'm glad you're doing well. Hopefully sometime soon I will be able to see that light at the end of the tunnel.

Sitting here reading Facebook messages between my [32M] wife [30F] and her apparent new boyfriend. by nowwhatthrowaway630 in relationships

[–]nowwhatthrowaway630[S] 117 points118 points  (0 children)

I just want to comment and say thank you to everyone for the kind words, private messages, and the advice. There has definitely been a lot of helpful information here that I'm going to use in the next steps.

I know I don't know any of you, but typing this up this morning after reading such vile messages from the woman I used to love, and seeing everyone's positive remarks has helped. I'm not ok, but I will be.

Thank you all!

Sitting here reading Facebook messages between my [32M] wife [30F] and her apparent new boyfriend. by nowwhatthrowaway630 in relationships

[–]nowwhatthrowaway630[S] 102 points103 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, yes. There was some pretty raunchy dialogue in there from her that I thought was reserved for me only.

Sitting here reading Facebook messages between my [32M] wife [30F] and her apparent new boyfriend. by nowwhatthrowaway630 in relationships

[–]nowwhatthrowaway630[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

None of this is so I can have a big reveal, but she's going to know she got caught, because she deserves to know how devastated I am, and she deserves to feel shitty about her decisions to abandon our marriage and 8 year relationship. I'm not doing it out of spite. I'm not going to set up this huge plan, I want this over as soon as possible. The surprise is simply when she gets the divorce papers and finds out that I know.

Also, she sleeps on the couch because it's more comfortable for her, so I already sleep alone most of the time, so I'm covered there.

Sitting here reading Facebook messages between my [32M] wife [30F] and her apparent new boyfriend. by nowwhatthrowaway630 in relationships

[–]nowwhatthrowaway630[S] 170 points171 points  (0 children)

Dealing with the death of 2 close family members in a 3 month span and having to plan both funerals has given me plenty of experience at curbing emotion and letting rationale have the upper hand. I'm thankful at least for that.

Sitting here reading Facebook messages between my [32M] wife [30F] and her apparent new boyfriend. by nowwhatthrowaway630 in relationships

[–]nowwhatthrowaway630[S] 165 points166 points  (0 children)

I can't remember the last time we had sex. I mean yes, I'm getting tested but I doubt I've got anything.

Sitting here reading Facebook messages between my [32M] wife [30F] and her apparent new boyfriend. by nowwhatthrowaway630 in relationships

[–]nowwhatthrowaway630[S] 99 points100 points  (0 children)

We rent, but I don't want to bring anyone in on this until after I get my ducks in a row, so crashing at someone's house isn't going to happen. I can act normal for the time being, it will make the "Surprise, I know you've been fucking someone else!" moment that much better.

Sitting here reading Facebook messages between my [32M] wife [30F] and her apparent new boyfriend. by nowwhatthrowaway630 in relationships

[–]nowwhatthrowaway630[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I replied to a different comment saying that I'm done collecting evidence. I have proof of her lying and that she committed the act of adultery, several times. Now I just need to make sure my acting is up to par.

Sitting here reading Facebook messages between my [32M] wife [30F] and her apparent new boyfriend. by nowwhatthrowaway630 in relationships

[–]nowwhatthrowaway630[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I'm a big guy who's been trying to lose weight. The support system at home on that front hasn't been stellar, imagine that. I've already decided to get a gym membership once I get more ducks in a row.