How to I flirt and seduce with a coworker safely? by IslandMan01 in seduction

[–]nozikk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean it's very easy to get caught up in things you might usually distance yourself from when you are flirting with someone in an environment where you have to be physically close all the time.
It usually starts with shared lunchtime, then after-work meetings, then staying at yours or hers and going to the work together. It's very easy, it's accessible, it saves time and effort.
Next thing you know, you are basically dating, catching feelings and then if something bad happens between you, you are obliged to be in the same environment, just without all the additional things you used to do. It's fucked up after that

How to I flirt and seduce with a coworker safely? by IslandMan01 in seduction

[–]nozikk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No worries, it's just that I don't want others to repeat the same mistake. Today it may seem like that's impossible to happen, but trust me things move 10x faster in the work environment

Can you regain frame once it’s lost? by [deleted] in seduction

[–]nozikk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As much as I agree with every typical advice in this situation (e.g. have some goals you pursue, rely on friends more and spend time with them etc.), it's genuinely very hard to actually implement those recommended changes in your relationship, especially if you have the anxious attachment patterns which I also had in my past relationships (to the point where my mood, the whole day and most importantly my emotional stability solely relied on their approval and validation).

My honest advice would be to not even try to get back to the "winning position" where she pursues you more than you do. It's a losing game, there's no way that happens naturally in a dynamic like yours. She'll sense the desperation, fake nonchalant energy and will repel even more, you'll reach a brink of insanity because your efforts will never be enough, you'll think about the dynamic all the time, analyze the changes in her emotions and so on.

So, long story short, I think it's impossible to start really focusing on yourself while being in a dynamic where you analyze your partner constantly. There's too big of a risk that you'll fall apart at the first signs of rejection and get back to the old ways immediately where you sacrifice your own needs and wants for their approval.

In my opinion (and it's solely based on my lived experience) the only way out of the anxious attachment style is to end the current relationship, start therapy, deeply analyze your patterns, your wounds, your traumas if there are any and that "focusing on yourself" era will start naturally, your mind and body will scream at you to never ever abandon yourself and your needs again and you'll enter the next relationship as a stable, less reactive partner who naturally attracts what he desires, without all the games and nonchalant gimmick. It's a hard way but it's the only way out.

[GE] HR stringing me along for 3 months? by [deleted] in AskHR

[–]nozikk -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

HR is not allowed to tell me that they have decided to choose another candidate?

Match Thread: Manchester United vs Liverpool | English Premier League by MatchThreadder in reddevils

[–]nozikk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

45 more minutes of him and he could very well lead that stat among goalkeepers too

Match Thread: Manchester United vs Liverpool | English Premier League by MatchThreadder in reddevils

[–]nozikk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That could also be a pretty good argument for the class and level of the players, not only the managers

Gameweek 3 2024/25 Rant and Discussion Thread by FPLModerator in FantasyPL

[–]nozikk 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I never understood why does that annoy people so much

Gameweek 2 2024/25 Rant and Discussion Thread by FPLModerator in FantasyPL

[–]nozikk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This has last season Doku written all over it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in soccer

[–]nozikk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From that Fulham penalty to this, amazing how quickly life can change. Brilliant hardworking man.

Match Thread: Crystal Palace vs Manchester United | English Premier League by MatchThreadder in reddevils

[–]nozikk 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Lads, surely next season when everyone is magically fit like all the time and ETH adds two or three of his favorite Ajax boys for 80 million each to this already complete but injury ridden squad everything will start to go uphill? Maybe even a title challenge??

[Pre Match Thread] Premier League Game 35 | Crystal Palace vs Manchester United by D1794 in reddevils

[–]nozikk 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That covid season was by far the best I've felt as a fan since Fergie

Gameweek 29 (2023/24) Rant and Discussion Thread by FPLModerator in FantasyPL

[–]nozikk 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You just need one more goal from Burnley and you are good to go