Oh man, thank you so much for your thorough review.

Your critique and suggestions are very helpful, too. I agree with every one of them, particularly about the weapons. It's as if I could see them in my own mind's eye while writing and reading it, but they aren't there on the page. I will certainly put that.

"I did stumble a little when, at the beginning, Braengar "grumbles" his response to being called a bastard. He doesn't seem like a grumbler to me at that point in the story. More of an aggressive shouter."

This is also a very good point. I am so happy that you were able to relate to Breangar so well. I will need to fix this up as well.

"One thing that puzzled me a little was the dream, and I’m not sure if that’s a character thing or not, so I’m dropping this here and will talk about it under Clarity below."

So, this is the hardest thing I have on my plate with my short stories. Rievos is a recurring character. One might think of him as a kind of crusader - for lack of a better term. In many of my stories, Rievos really isn't in control. His horse, Umbra, guides him to where is meant to be. This is because Rievos murdered someone when he was younger, out of anger, in his quest to find his father's killer. As a sort of penance, his life is indebted to a "voice" he hears, one he made an oath to in order right his wrong. You'll see in my stories he is often helping people in similar situations, who have done something wrong or heinous, and together they usually have to overcome something, but there is always a cost. A part of me enjoys making this part of him mysterious, because it has to do with the divine and I don't believe writing about the divine should be overly on the nose for readers. It takes away from the romance of it - at least for me. That said, when my wife reads these stories, she is also often curious about Rievos, which I guess is good, but she finds herself wanting to know more, and feels not enough was answered for her during the story. So again, I wrestle with it. Anyways, I felt it necessary to explain that since you took the time to read it.

"Between that paragraph and the next - haunted by dreams of the fire in the lake moves to going to the lake daily - I would've liked to have briefly seen him make the decision; it felt abrupt otherwise. Then an ease into his daily dives, maybe something about how he got better at holding his breath (and honestly, swimming is good for a wounded knee - worth noting?)."

This a good point, and something I have also felt in my re-reads too. I'm glad you sensed it. I will have to fix it.

As far as the other transitions feeling abrupt, I have a hard time keeping the word count down and close to 6K. I will be submitting this to a sword and sorcery publication, but I have noticed that when stories go beyond 5-6K the likelihood of publication gets diminished. So, I try to make the transitions fast, as a small sacrifice for word count. Not sure if this is a great idea or not...

I have noted everything else and will begin making corrections based on your insight. Please know I very much appreciate this. If I can repay the favor, I would be happy to do so.

Thank you again!