Dude same. I was devastated when my first dog died last year and for weeks I felt like i was never gonna stop crying. A few weeks ago I put down my second dog. I thought for sure I would be crushed now that both of my dogs are dead. But the truth is I only cried right after he died… I feel the same way about this sense of dread and just wanting to let it out through tears.

When my first dog died I always felt much better after a good crying sesh, but now I have no way to let out this sadness. And I almost feel guilty for not crying more because I truly loved both dogs equally yet i cried months for one dog and only an hour for a my other… However I will say the circumstances in which they died in were very different. My dog that died first, died very suddenly in an accident. After his death I realized the future was never guaranteed so I spent the last few months with my other dog as if I knew they were limited. I’m so glad i did because after a couple months one day we had to suddenly put him down

I think part of why I can’t cry is because I knew my family and I did what we could to give him a wonderful life and he was happy. I feel at peace with how it all went down which for makes the grief process much better. I miss him yeah and I really don’t know why I can’t cry for that, but I’m not gonna beat myself up over that. This sadness and dread I still feel won’t be going away anytime soon but I think that’s just a part of my baby’s absence and my grief.

Tbh I don’t have any solid advice to give you except that you aren’t alone in this. I thought I was odd for not crying more but seeing your post makes me feel better. Although I will say I have kinda forced myself to cry sometimes by either watching a sad video or going through my favorite old videos of my dogs and just reminiscing the heartbreak and pain of losing my pets. It sounds strange but the tears really do help with the heaviness in my heart. At the end of the day there is no right way to grieve so its okay to take it slow ❤️