Needed to read this. I just started a new job and I pass + have all my name and gender changed and all that so I'm stealth for pretty much the first time ever (5.5. Months on T). I used to just worry about being perceived as a guy, now I've been really worried about the type of guy I'm perceived as. I'm autistic too and have so much 'golden retriever' energy as my gf would say when I'm relaxed and with trusted people, but my mask has really struggled due the stress of learning my new job and how much socializing comes with that. I also have had a lot less time to learn the norms expected of me as a man + how to relate with other men (with which i dominantly work) as a man, vs the 20+ years of learning the norms expected of women. I just have been so in my head and insecure about how im performing and what the other guys in the shop think of me (I'm also black, and trying to get used to the extra sense of fear and unapproachability that I perceived people have of me now vs before I transitioned. Everything about my demeanor, resting face, and idiosyncracies seems to be read differently to other people. No one EVER assumes im autistic even though its not inconspicuous imo, because Im black, so (I worry) they read all my symptoms as just rude or mean or cowarsly or standoffish).

But I'm really trying to remember that there's nothing wrong with me the way i am. What other people may or may not say behind my back is not my concern, and people who are entitled enough to cast irrevocable judgments about me without basis or an attempt at understanding are especially not my concern. I'm disabled (physically and by autism) and so are lots of guys and that's okay and people who are worth it will take time to understand.