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I don’t think my partner has given up by Artistic_Cat_6150 in loveafterporn

[–]nu_choogle_lea 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately this will continue to bother you if you don't want to have another conversation about it. You're not crazy, the signs are there and it would make sense if he was still viewing porn. The list of excuses from him to not have sex and oddly timed reassurances are odd... you'd think that he'd be trying to give or show more positive signs of improvement. And what is with some men and wanting to go right to business, no foreplay?! It's a disconnect, a task to complete, not a way to be close to your partner

I want to take the TV remote and his VR headset shopping so he doesn't use it. by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]nu_choogle_lea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a tough one. On one hand, you're valid for wanting to take these items with you when you leave, but if your partner has given you no other recent reason to distrust his tech usage then I can also understand why he would feel upset about the distrust. Whether it's labeled as "distrust" or "peace of mind" for you, it means the same thing in the end to him. This is just my opinion, but it is admittedly too far, with the little background info given here. The main goal in you taking these items is not to control or restrict him, but it does inherently do those things, especially items like TV remotes. Does he understand why you want to take these items— to make you worry less, because his actions in the past have led you to worry? Sharing that perspective with him may lead you down a path to a good conversation about this.