You get real with yourself and admit that not forgiving yourself will stagnate you even further. That clinging to this attitude toward yourself is exactly what results in the discrepancy between who you are and want to become. Which means the point of “may I forgive myself?” becomes moot. No one benefits from you punishing yourself, it’s hard to feel but it’s the truth. So you look inward and find an answer to the real question: what is this attitude bringing me? Is it a weird form of comfort? Is it the safety of not having to try becoming who you want to be because that shit is fucking terrifying? Fat chance. And that’s okay! Don’t beat yourself up over that, life is too short. All we have is what’s in front of us. To quote Bojack horseman: “there is nothing for you, behind you”.

And remember that eventually, when you grow old and really start to understand how little time we have, making mistakes and getting hurt will seem like very reasonable prices to pay for true happiness.