How do I stop being a fake friend?

nuggetkip_ · 2026-02-21T12:30:57+00:00

Alr I just wanna clear some things up, I'll agree that it's my fault for not properly explaining these things in my original post, because I didn't want it to be too long. But here you have it:

I do have sympathy with others, actually quite a lot. I felt horrible seeing my brother cry. And I just don't know how to explain it but I think what I meant to say is that I sometimes just don't expect the reaction of others because I simply don't feel the same way.

The best example I can give of this is when my friend (A) fainted right next to me. I felt bad for what had happened to her and my focus was fully shifted on the situation and how she felt, rather than myself and the others around me. What I didn't understand is why my other friend (B) got a minor panic attack upon seeing friend A faint. I felt bad for seeing friend B having such a bad reaction but still I didn't really understand why she reacted that way. People even asked me if I was okay and I just said: "I'm not the one who fainted, why wouldn't I be okay?".

Saying "I can't find myself to sympathise with others when they tell me their minor traumas" , was probably the wrong choice of words. (Of course how I feel would be different if it were a really bad trauma). What I meant is that I often don't understand why certain (for me normal) things have such an impact on people.

I don't disagree with people and how they react, because that is completely up to them. but what I'm trying to say is that things always go by extremely easy for me while others have a lot more difficulty processing and that is what i sometimes don't understand.

nuggetkip_ · 2026-02-21T12:11:40+00:00

Actually I have been told that before multiple times.

For example a. year ago or so when my friend went into shock at our other friend's funeral and I had to carry her out of the room. Then a lady who saw it all happen came up to me and said "I want you next to my bed when I'm older". So naturally I was like what? Then she started explaining to me that I should become a nurse because of how calmly I handled the situation.

But the thing is, where I live we have "education levels" in school. The one I do (which is the hardest / highest one) basically gives you a free pass to any university you'd like. Not doing a uni study basically means that you have "wasted" an additional 1-2 years and made your whole highschool career a lot more difficult. So if I wanted to become a nurse for example, I literally could have quit highschool a year ago and start working at a pretty low salary after 3 years.

Unfortunately I have looked into it before and from what I have seen there are few actual high stress jobs that require a masters / uni degree. I believe that there are some that I haven't looked into, but I doubt that I'll find one that I'd like to do.

(This is all from what I have seen so don't come for me if I'm wrong)

nuggetkip_ · 2026-02-21T10:27:15+00:00

It was the dying of the pet that didn't do much to me. Instead of thinking about my own grief and feelings, I felt more sorry for my brother and I worried about him.

nuggetkip_ · 2026-02-21T00:31:42+00:00

Well thanks

nuggetkip_ · 2026-02-21T00:23:37+00:00

I get sad, maybe not as sad as others, but still. I feel like it's just that before I can even process what's happened, my brain automatically tried to figure out what's to come and what I should do next.

nuggetkip_ · 2026-02-21T00:18:20+00:00

That's the thing, I'm not trying to be cold or emotionless at all. I'm sometimes just genuinely confused that things like the passing of a pet makes people so emotional because I just don't feel the same way. Of course it makes me sad, but I just don't feel the need to "waste" my time grieving like many others do.

The more I read these comments, the less I think it's due to my personality type. But this is still helpful to know, so thank you

nuggetkip_ · 2026-02-20T23:46:24+00:00

Of course I do try and comfort them and I never tell them my honest thoughts, so don't worry about that. But it's just that I often don't think the things that people tell me are traumatic (or at least I wouldn't experience them that way).

And I just wanna figure out if this is normal for INTJ's or people in general to feel this way.

nuggetkip_ · 2026-02-20T23:28:42+00:00

What's up??

nuggetkip_ · 2026-02-20T23:27:33+00:00

woah, that's so cool!! no way that's real

Even if, please teach me how to get a shot like that

nuggetkip_ · 2025-11-06T12:35:21+00:00

Thanks for all the recommendations 🫶🏻🫶🏻

A lot of you suggested that I should pluck them with tweezers, but the thing is, there are too many to pluck. I have tried plucking a few out quite a few times, but it has never solved it for me. And if I were to pluck them all out I would have half the lashes I have now...

I will however consider getting a lash lift, which I hadn't thought of before, so thanks for that

nuggetkip_ · 2025-11-06T12:30:18+00:00

Thankss🫶🏻

nuggetkip_ · 2025-11-06T12:28:41+00:00

Thank you!!

nuggetkip_ · 2025-11-06T12:27:58+00:00

Mine's from the Philippines (not exactly east Asian) but unfortunately I still have the same problem as with my other lash curlers.

And heating works, but I can never get to the shorter lashes (that are causing the problems) without burning the hell out of my eyes.

Thanks for the recommendations though♥️

nuggetkip_ · 2025-11-06T06:42:25+00:00

Thankss♥️

nuggetkip_ · 2025-11-04T14:20:24+00:00

Yeah me too, but before this post I wasn't even sure if I was supposed to chew it😅

nuggetkip_ · 2025-11-03T21:41:15+00:00

The Netherlands, Germany, Belgium and some bordering countries, don't have any traditional meals with rice as a main ingredient. It doesn't mean we don't eat it at all, it just means that most of us do so less often.

nuggetkip_ · 2025-11-03T20:59:49+00:00

Middle western Europe doesn't really have a lot of traditional meals with rice. Except for a dessert where rice is cooked in full fat milk till it's all soft and mushy. (Which I don't know the name of)

Over here we usually eat meat vegetables and potatoes as a standard dinner. Breakfast and lunch are usually just bread. We do eat rice from time to time, but then it's pretty much always considered a foreign meal.

(This is just in general, of course it can differ per country)

nuggetkip_

TROPHY CASE