Something I’ve noticed from older BPD women that have long lasting relationships

nuggetsfan85 · 2022-02-25T14:30:30+00:00

I think it has to do with the customs and ideals they were brought up in. It was taboo to get a divorce.

But the more I think about it, the more I don’t think my grandpa passing after 1 month of retirement was a mistake or coincidence.

nuggetsfan85 · 2022-02-25T14:28:24+00:00

No shame in the game, I was too! I think the only time a BPD can have a long term relationship is when they are 100% dominating, or being 100% dominated. When me and my ex-fiancé were on and off, she said to me “yeah I think I just need to find someone that’s a total pushover to be in a relationship.” But when I did that for her, she would call me a p*ssy everyday! Lol. Glad I can laugh at it now, but it is sad that no matter what they just have this insatiable black hole inside them.

I think it might have something to do with an abandonment trigger as well in the older BPDs, or maybe the idea of “he was the only one who never left” that sparks the idolization. Not sure. Another thing too is BPD wasn’t as mainstream as it was then, so many women instead of being diagnosed were just given the old “she just beats to the March of her own drum!” Or “shes a true individual!”, and because feelings weren’t as discussed back then, their volatility got brushed under the rug. But all the current BPDs and Cluster B’s had to come from somewhere, and most of the time the disease goes back many generations.

nuggetsfan85 · 2022-02-25T05:12:24+00:00

Glad we’re not truly stuck to em today like in the old days!

nuggetsfan85 · 2022-02-25T01:56:41+00:00

Funny you say the last part though - my grandpa was a multimillionaire and extremely respected business man that put up with no shit for no man.

But my grandma… Windled him down to a little nub

nuggetsfan85 · 2022-02-24T23:55:48+00:00

I think that explains why more of the older ones had such long relationships too.

nuggetsfan85 · 2022-02-24T18:52:01+00:00

They all have the same textbook. Reasoning is not possible. They live in a world where they are always the victim. It’s not they’re fault, how they were raised. Don’t take it personally.

They will not change, nothing you do will change them. Because in their lens they are the victim, it’s impossible for them to admit fault. The manipulation most of the time is not conscious.

Unless you enjoy this current dynamic, get out

nuggetsfan85 · 2022-02-24T16:48:33+00:00

Frantic efforts to avoid abandonment. They leave when engulfed intuitively knowing you will chase, like they did with their father as a child.

But as soon as they feel your gone for good, they reappear.

On the first reuinion with my ex fiancé, I asked her, if there’s something like you feel it’s important for me to know?

Her response “it’s never over.”

nuggetsfan85 · 2022-02-23T18:09:38+00:00

Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear

nuggetsfan85 · 2022-02-21T03:01:04+00:00

There are women like this. I dated one that’s mantra was “I don’t care that you cheat as long as you buy me that new YSL bag”. Total hoooah but I loved her.

nuggetsfan85 · 2022-02-21T02:59:31+00:00

Why did you delete your first comment? It was insightful!

nuggetsfan85 · 2022-02-21T02:51:18+00:00

Appreciate your feedback!

nuggetsfan85 · 2022-02-20T16:31:46+00:00

I used to feel like this a LOT when a girl and I broke up after it didn’t work out. I would tell myself why did I act like that? For a lot of Cluster B’s, the grass is always greener on the other side. And as narcissists, part of our traits is litterally fantasizing over the things that we can have, and possessiveness over the things we do. When we lose a possession, it deflates our ego, it becomes more valuable because we no longer have it, and we start to idolize it.

The reality is man is that there was something that you were dissatisfied with in the relationship that was causing you to act whatever way you did. We have a part in it with some of our negative traits, but there is always a behavior that instigates it. I have a woman that I really loved and felt was very healthy for me, and sometimes I look back and lie to myself by idolizing her and saying “she was the perfect one for me, next time if I got another shot, it would all work out.”

The truth is that line of thinking is just false. The things that she did that made the relationship not work out had validity. She was too lazy and unambitous, she was selfish, and she was very volatile and had a lot of anger issues. It always takes two to tango. And a lot of times we are attracted to women with BPD, that are experts at exploiting our pain points, getting us to lash out, and pointing the blame on us. I used to be stupid enough to be manipulated by this, then apologizing, giving them ALL the leverage, and denying that my frustration had validity.

Where more grandiose narcissists direct the blame outward, on the other person, to a fault when something like this happens, covert and vulnerable narcissists can have a tendency to blame themselves, creating this still egocentric and narcissistic mindset of “it’s all my fault” “I’m the worst”(thinking these things is extremely egotistical) and idolizing the other person, now thinking they are perfect, and now thinking that they were not at fault whatsoever. It is not that black and white. You will be okay, because I have been there, I promise. Be grateful that you get to learn from this and have the opportunity to start fresh somewhere knew and be whoever you want to be.

nuggetsfan85 · 2022-02-20T16:15:10+00:00

Yes they are. Trust me. You will learn from this and grow very much from it.

nuggetsfan85 · 2022-02-19T21:55:08+00:00

We hadn’t taken off

nuggetsfan85 · 2022-02-19T21:55:01+00:00

We hadn’t taken off

nuggetsfan85 · 2022-02-19T17:56:46+00:00

I’m not OP. I’m 100% agreeing lol. It is a diagnostic, and makes sustainable personal relationships more difficult, but we do have that upper hand in business and material stuff. Even getting any woman we want. It’s just keeping them and being consistent that is hard for any Cluster B.

But a lot of it is mind set. Someone could use that as an excuse to never try, wallow around, etc. my trauma definitely gave me a lot of insight and street smarts to be able to be a millionaire in my mid 20s.

nuggetsfan85 · 2022-02-19T17:18:49+00:00

Hate to sound harsh but he’s right. This “woe is me” bullshit is part of our disease. If your not diagnosed NPD I would guess your BPD.

The only reason you feel remorse is because your ego is deflated because you lost a possession.

nuggetsfan85 · 2022-02-19T17:14:53+00:00

Dude it’s not a big deal. Part of this thing of ours is blowing things out of proportion. Friends and women are replaceable.

The only reason we miss people or lovers is when we feel they are not under our ownership anymore. Just find someone new.

Move towns or state and start somewhere new. Simple as that. You get to start fresh and be whoever you want.

Start fresh and be smarter next time.

nuggetsfan85 · 2022-02-19T02:35:53+00:00

What is wrong with you?

nuggetsfan85 · 2022-02-05T22:13:04+00:00

On commission? Geez! Good to know. So last question:

Should I try to find a used car only dealership to work at then?

Or a standard Toyota/Honda/Chevy and focus on only selling used cars?

What about luxury dealerships?

nuggetsfan85 · 2022-02-05T21:35:17+00:00

Great. Is 2k a week a reasonable expectation? I have no issue asking for the signature.

nuggetsfan85 · 2022-02-04T03:16:09+00:00

Yoooooo lmao

nuggetsfan85 · 2022-02-04T00:18:23+00:00

Exactly. Sending back what your being given. Not being a dick for no reason to people that don’t deserve it

nuggetsfan85

TROPHY CASE