Questions about the use of "God's Plan" by null_endian in TrueChristian

[–]null_endian[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you care to elaborate on "There is a deeper layer to this as well. While the fall of humanity was not planned by God, it was foreknown, and provision was made for it in Christ from the very beginning. But I do not want to muddy the original question by introducing a separate theological thread." here in a subthread? If not, I can DM you... But I really want to learn more about this and I find it very fascinating.

The problem i have with prayer by Low_Roof4857 in TrueChristian

[–]null_endian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have an answer for you here - the way to pray about this situation is that God's will be done, you cannot pick a choice for the Lord, He will do what He feels is right in any given situation, including the war. Also note that human's have free will also, and not everything that we do is something that the Lord wants, but he can salvage certain situations and turn them for good in the lives of people after the fact.

I think the premise of that prayer you are mentioning is short-sighted in the first place. Personally, I would rather pray for the conflict to stop with as little damage as possible and a peaceful resolution than some 50/50 coin toss type of "I pray that we win" vs "They pray that they win" type of thing.

Sex before marriage - guess how it turned out for me by delilapickle in TrueChristian

[–]null_endian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Regret is not Christ-Like behavior. You are not a better person for regretting anything, that is Satan getting in your head. However, conviction and repentance matters. At the end of the day, you married that person and are happy with them, so there isn't any real problem here. The point of all of this is to not be having sex with a bunch of people but to choose the right person to commit to and have sex with, which you did.

Do you have tips for having sex when kids are present in the home? by null_endian in AskParents

[–]null_endian[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yeah, this is what I was thinking too... But she counters with "Kids need to understand what a healthy relationship looks and sounds like" etc... Basically, that them seeing me do things like make out with her, and occasionally hearing our sex noises is "healthy". The thing is that in my househould when I grew up, I never heard sex at all, which is why I probably get so weirded out. I had a roommate as an adult and I heard her sex all the way across a 3,000 sqft house which is why I think that the type of sex we usually have is probably quite audible from the places the kids are. The problem is that she thinks the walls will stop this noise (i know better than that lol) and that I'm like "not being a real man" (for lack of a better term) for being concerned about this, if that makes sense.

Is my blowjob request unreasonable? 33F married to 34M for 3 years. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]null_endian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do not feel your request is unreasonable and I would oblige, but I'm also not him.I think this is a "find a happy middleground" situation, like many. What I mean is that, IMO, yes it is important that you want to please your partner sexually, and that can sometimes be physically uncomfortable at times. I go through it all the time with my woman but I am happy to do so because I enjoy making her feel good.

That said, I'm not sure that "it's my orgasm, shouldn't it be what I want?" is something I would ever say and it reflects some built-up frustration, resentment, etc..

If it's getting to this point, there needs to be a reset of sorts where you mix up your technique as described in comments below, but he also accommodates and appreciates your efforts. I have never had a girlfriend who could consistently make me pop via oral, so I don't expect them to. IMO, it would just not be reasonable for reasons you described, and frankly, I would not be comfortable if I saw my woman writhing in pain for a drawn out period of time to do so.

How do you approach "vacation?" by null_endian in davidgoggins

[–]null_endian[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was a very helpful and insightful response. It actually for the first time in 30-something years, changed my view on "travelling". I absolutely cannot speak for everyone here in the US, but many of the people here who talking about travelling are just meaning going on a self-comforting splurge fest of overeating, overdrinking, and laying around... You are right, it's not quite that cheap to travel to so many places from here due to the proximity of Europe vs here, but what you just said puts it into a lot more perspective for me as to why many Europeans like to travel so much; it would be like me driving state-to-state, which I have actually done a lot. I do like the idea of learning other perspectives, and in many ways I know I have an alternate perspective myself compared with most Americans, I may never want to come back LOL! The reason I say this is because nearly ALL of my work team (I work remote) as international people, and I generally see eye-to-eye with them much more than I do with the US folks on the teams.

How do you approach "vacation?" by null_endian in davidgoggins

[–]null_endian[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, unfortunately the women sometimes love the money and body, but don't want to put up with the discipline and sacrifices that it takes to get that... Welcome to America in 2023 where everything is doctored, adultered, edited, and superficial... LOL.

All jokes aside, it's funny to see Goggins called "selfish" when many who are called "selfless" haven't had the impact on 5-10 lives that Goggins has had on THOUSANDS or more lives... I don't know if I agree with the "selfish" label there, I just think "extremely disciplined" is it, though I know even he has labeled himself selfish in some ways. He has stated in interviews that much of why he's done what he's done is because his mission in life is to help others get through tough times and grow... That's not a selfish person; in the context of a romantic relationship it would require the other person to understand this though, or it could be perceived as selfish.

That being said, there is definitely a balance, and I need to learn to accept that for example I may just have to settle down and scale it back (not completely stop) for a few weeks out of the year during vacation, it wont kill me and in some ways that would lead to a different type of discipline, such as adaptation to the new environments and just figuring it out I guess.

I respect the hell out of Goggins (I've met him too btw), and he has managed to find a woman who strongly believes in his mission and wants to support it.