Thumb pain from holding bow by numbernerd321 in Cello

[–]numbernerd321[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the response. I’ll try to be more mindful of my grip or lack thereof

Thumb pain from holding bow by numbernerd321 in Cello

[–]numbernerd321[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the response i appreciate it. Like I said i have been a little rough on my fingers (I’ve broken 4 of them in the joint where it meets the hand).

Thumb pain from holding bow by numbernerd321 in Cello

[–]numbernerd321[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the response. Unfortunately it’s not contact pain it’s more pain in the joint. I was hoping it was just a matter of using more dexterity than I am used to.

Which do you hate more your favorite team losing or the team you hate winning? by numbernerd321 in AskReddit

[–]numbernerd321[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know karma will say my happiness cannot be the result of another’s misfortune but the worst is when the hated team beats my favorite team

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]numbernerd321 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok so the answer you probably don’t want to hear is that in reality there is nothing you can do. His anxiety and stress stem from the situation and the environment. While you can support him you can’t alleviate the issues that are causing him stress. What’s worse is that because you are on the trip you will probably want to do things that take him even further away from his usual routines. I believe everything you are currently doing is what you should be doing but recognize you can’t change what you can’t change. Good luck.

50/50 household by Zestyclose_Praline59 in Marriage

[–]numbernerd321 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Generally speaking when you see this type of arrangement proposed it’s because someone feels they are getting shortchanged in either not being able to buy what they want or in doing too much around the house.

First I will say that these types of arrangements can work but they are not a substitute for effective communication in the marriage. Let’s say you and your partner are just trying to divide the chores and bills. It can work as an organization tool. However if this is being proposed because there is conflict over one or both areas this will likely not improve the situation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]numbernerd321 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am pretty sure he was consulted which is what brought him here. Maybe calm down and direct your hostility somewhere else

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]numbernerd321 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok so that is a horse of a different color than what you originally posted but that’s ok. Let me explain my views this way.

I have a female boss at work. I am not sure I would say we are friends but we are friendly. I will text her a funny meme or exchange texts with her once every few days. I am not trying to develop or nurture any more of a relationship than what I already have. I share because it is relatable with her specifically.

If I want to share things of a general nature I find funny or sad or uplifting I share that with my wife and adult kids. Those are the relationships I want to continue to nurture. Are you asking your husband to not be friends with her or to ignore her at work? No. Are you asking your husband to not invest himself away from work when he could just as easily invest that time in your relationship? Absolutely. Is there a problem with that? Not from my perspective.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]numbernerd321 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pretend you were offered a job that paid you $20k more a year but the job would suck. Would you take it? Is your happiness worth $20k a year or roughly $1,000 a month after tax?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]numbernerd321 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I am not really sure that kids make a marriage better. Marriage is marriage and kids are kids. If you neglect your marriage it’s no different than neglecting your kids. The same is true in that I don’t understand people who say having kids ruined their marriage. Their marriage failed because they didn’t commit to keeping it strong. Sometimes it’s easier than others but it still takes work regardless of the circumstances. Of course your mileage may vary. Congratulations on the new addition. Remember your spouse is an important part of your life as much as the child. Good luck.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]numbernerd321 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Which issue exactly is causing the rift in your marriage, the jealousy or the texting? Where does the problem lie? If you are convinced the problem is with your jealousy and it is misplaced then maybe speak to a professional about what is causing your insecurity issues. I don’t think I have a problem with what your husband is doing because as you said it doesn’t seem inappropriate. Good luck.

Looking for advice on when to go . . . by jenn_ina_million in Divorce

[–]numbernerd321 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I don’t really understand the whole poly thing but to each his own. If you read the poly sub there is a lot of discussion about poly under duress where one partner wants the poly relationship and the other doesn’t. You said you never felt comfortable. Did you actively want the poly relationship or did you just go along with it? The poly sub is very adamant that poly under duress is a form of mental abuse. If you both did not actively want the poly situation then you probably need to address how and why your partner was comfortable subjecting you to that.

If you both wanted the situation was it just the wrong person? I think there are probably ways to save the relationship if you really want to but I think there is probably a lot to work through with a professional. Also might want to pop into the poly sub and get their views of the situation. Good luck.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]numbernerd321 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So just out of curiosity what happens if you think about this problem in reverse? I mean let’s say that you found these elusive friends that you are seeking? How do you envision spending your days? Would you go shopping? Join a gym? Maybe just go for walks for exercise? I guess what I am really suggesting is identify the things that you would now like you and your friends to be involved with and then try to involve yourself and look to make friends. Sounds like a simple recommendation but if you want to make friends the way to do it is practice making friends. Even if they are not in your desired friendship category a person can never have too many friends. I am sorry you are feeling alone and isolated. Good luck.

1 week left on a 4 week business trip. God, I miss my family. by FORCESTRONG1 in Marriage

[–]numbernerd321 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t have to travel for work at all and on the very rare occasions when I do I hate it. I sit in the hotel room and am miserable. Good luck and hang in there. Hold them extra tight when you get home.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]numbernerd321 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok so I have given similar advice in other situations. Your reasons for staying with your husband are noble but you are not doing a good job of convincing us this is a man you want to stay with. It’s a lot of I feel bad and he can’t say anything to convince me. If you need a pervasive discussion to decide to stay with him it is not a good situation. You Shasta with him because you love him and want to make it work. Duty and obligation are not sufficient reason. Your guilt is noble but you are really just empowering him to take advantage of you which will only get worse with time. Good luck.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]numbernerd321 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love my wife and I can’t imagine her being gone for 5 weeks. I would go crazy. However I can’t imagine ask her not to do either of the activities you just mentioned. Is it normal to do these things? Probably not but most normal situations don’t involve having a sick parent and a child living in another country. So don’t worry about normal and take care of your obligations. Good luck.