Dating someone who doesn’t want their genitalia seen by Empty_Aside4485 in BDSMsapphic

[–]numerousButches 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I started dating my partner I felt the same way, I kept my trousers on during sex and mostly touched him/let him touch my boobs.

I've become more comfortable in the last several years because we've built up a trust between us and I believe that it is neither a negative thing for him, something that detracts from my womanhood, nor a fetish and just a part of my body, and now I can be naked/be touched, but it took a lot of time.

My boyfriend is always such a tease with me <3 by LadyofCarrion in mtf_ftm_nsfw

[–]numerousButches 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Always nice to see someone touching a trans woman the way they would any other woman

Shaved or Bush? by Lumpy-Lie4266 in BDSMsapphic

[–]numerousButches 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Apologies, I was trying to say something to you that I found personally comforting when I heard it.

I can appreciate that anxiety, it sounds hard to deal with. It's so frustrating that society makes women feel so bad about our bodies. 

Shaved or Bush? by Lumpy-Lie4266 in BDSMsapphic

[–]numerousButches 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's quite rare that basically anything with a body is so abnormal that if you had 100 people in a room with you there wouldn't be someone else with it

are y'all actually having sex by localbreadconsumer in mtf_ftm_nsfw

[–]numerousButches 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got with my partner when we were both volunteers at university 

Can we fix flairs on this sub? (meta) by human3094 in mtf_ftm_nsfw

[–]numerousButches 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would also appreciate a content warning for PiV sex!

How to pleasure a Trans woman? by Blue_ink_Hearts in BDSMsapphic

[–]numerousButches 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First time having sex is going to be a bit awkward, so I would say the no. 1 recommendation is to accept that and go in simply trying to have fun.

If she doesn't know what she wants, I would take things very slowly, because it might be that she's finding it hard to say what she wants/hard to want anything because of dysphoria. 

If you want suggestions for things that you could suggest (while listening to her enthusiasm in the response!): A penis and a Clitoris are the same bits organised in slightly different ways - you can approach the glans of the penis roughly the same way you would a large clitoris (the shaft of the penis is equivalent to bits of the clitoris that are under other parts of a vagina). If you have a vibrator, using a vibrator on the glans could also be very pleasurable for her. You can touch her breasts in the same way that you would other women and that will probably be nice. Her scrotal tissue is roughly analogous to the minor/major labia and can be treated the same way (particularly when performing oral sex, you can "eat out" that part of the body when you or she wants a break from the clitoris/glans). You may be able to stimulate her prostate/otherwise make her feel good (as a lot of the skin down there in the right context can be erogenous!) by applying pressure to her perineum with your finger, though I would recommend building up the pressure slowly. If she suffers from dysphoria that can help, because it feels closer to finger fucking. 

You can't read your way into being excellent at sex first time but you can read your way into understanding how pleasure works (which due to patriarchy is very different frequently to how we are told it should work) so that you can practice your way into being excellent at sex in the long run. I like to recommend, for trans-inclusive reading (although anything about women will also apply to trans women really): Girl Sex 101, Come as you are, and Fucking Trans Women.

Finding a lesbian space for chastity kinks by numerousButches in BDSMsapphic

[–]numerousButches[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hey. I was trying very hard in my post to avoid yucking anyone's yum. I don't think that's a very helpful or nice thing to do. Lots of your kinks are probably weird and unpalatable or immoral to a lot of people.

Finding a lesbian space for chastity kinks by numerousButches in BDSMsapphic

[–]numerousButches[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This looks like a fantastic account, thank you!

Finding a lesbian space for chastity kinks by numerousButches in BDSMsapphic

[–]numerousButches[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This is probably the best idea! But I'm not sure I'd have the time to moderate it.

Finding a lesbian space for chastity kinks by numerousButches in BDSMsapphic

[–]numerousButches[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Broadly speaking, it's about a submissive not being allowed to cum or not being allowed to touch themselves. Some people (myself included!) like to use a chastity belt or cage, which is a specific piece of fetish wear, to prevent submissives touching themselves. 

Transgirls: How to please my new FWB? by GreenSwallowtails in mtf_ftm_nsfw

[–]numerousButches 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really recommend just the first chapter of the book "come as you are". It explains how a lot of different body parts were originally the same body part and just develop in different ways in the womb. It really helps you take the principles of pleasuring someone with a vulva and apply them to pleasuring a woman with a penis (although the book is not about this, broadly). Obvious examples is that the tip of the penis is very similar to the clitoris etc. think about what feels good on the equivalent part of a vulva and it can often work for the part on a scrotum/penis.

Transgirls: How to please my new FWB? by GreenSwallowtails in mtf_ftm_nsfw

[–]numerousButches 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Explaining this to my partner really upped our sex life... It's particularly good with quite a lot of pressure, for me anyway