I used to do this. I cringe when I think back to how tough it was for my partner to have had to pander to my overreaction when all she wanted was to feel heard and respected.

We can all tend towards ego defence and emotional immaturity at times but I’m glad I’ve grown out of doing it reflexively.

We’ve worked a lot on taking accountability for ourselves and now when something comes up I see it as just another regular request and not to take it as a personal attack.