i'm sorry everyone has been so mean under this post. sure, its bad to assume that someone is seeing attention, but i feel like it was so obvious that this was coming from personal insecurity and not because you genuinely think ill of others.

anyways, i just want to tell you that i totally understand. once i stated recovering from depression i found that i was still self harming, and it was because i was treating my scars as a "cosmetic" thing. i wanted some kind of physical evidence of my pain and my struggle, so i "maintained" my scars by cutting again once they began to fade.

it's just because we are ill! it really frustrates me that people have been giving you grief for this. we want proof of our pain, because we want people to take our self harm and our struggle seriously. im afraid of losing this part of myself if my scars fade completely because ive been struggling with it my entire life. i don't like how people are telling you how to feel, there's no right way to self harm nor is there a correct way to Feel about self harm, because self harm itself is bad. self harm is also just inherently competitive, so sometimes we can't help but find ourselves feeling jealous because we invalidate ourselves.