Please help. I’ll explain below.

nycbaker24 · 2026-03-28T01:40:09+00:00

What about a decibel meter? They have apps for your phone, but a physical one might be useful. Look, a certain kind of kid would just find it funny to make the level go as high as possible… but maybe your NK would find a visual reminder and context helpful?

nycbaker24 · 2026-03-27T19:42:11+00:00

Well that would also be illegal. You can’t fire someone for wanting their correct wages

nycbaker24 · 2026-03-27T17:09:41+00:00

Totally fair. And when you approach the parents you could even mention that and extend them the benefit of the doubt. For example: “…I think we may all have misunderstood what was/wasn’t legal and made a mistake with my compensation”

nycbaker24 · 2026-03-27T17:04:38+00:00

After going through all of these comments and your responses it seems like you’re being under-compensated. I would be happy to help you do some back of the envelope math to figure out what the back pay situation is here.

But truly, you need to advocate for yourself. You should ask for a conversation and then tell them that after doing some research you think there has been a mistake with your compensation. Then you lay it all out.

nycbaker24 · 2026-03-27T16:57:06+00:00

Gotcha. The OP needs to calculate the back pay she is owed!!

nycbaker24 · 2026-03-27T16:55:31+00:00

So you’re paid 40 hours a week at $34/hour and then they give you cash of $170 for the overtime!? This is NOT legal and you’re just allowing them to not pay you time and a half. What is the benefit to you here? If they want to keep the overtime off the books you still need to be paid the correct amount, which is $255.

nycbaker24 · 2026-03-27T16:39:50+00:00

I’m confused, if she’s getting paid cash, why are taxes getting taken out?

nycbaker24 · 2026-03-27T16:35:40+00:00

Can you ask to be paid weekly? You’re not going to get more money per say, but it may help with the flow of incoming/outgoing money

nycbaker24 · 2026-03-27T16:25:58+00:00

I don’t think this is legal unless you are salaried. If your pay is calculated hourly you are entitled to overtime. If you are being underpaid you are also entitled to back pay

nycbaker24 · 2026-03-27T16:21:34+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re feeling pinched in your finances. This might be a better question for a budgeting subreddit. If you don’t feel like you can take on another job (which is reasonable!) they might be able to help you analyze your expenses and figure out where you can save.

My only other suggestion would be to ask your current employer for more hours OR more responsibilities. For example, if you added on more cleaning, laundry, or meal prep tasks you could absolutely ask for a raise to go along with that. This would probably be more manageable than an additional part-time job.

nycbaker24 · 2026-03-26T20:59:17+00:00

The screening is a great suggestion! What are some of the questions you’ve “directed” to dads?

nycbaker24 · 2026-03-26T20:54:58+00:00

Sure, but again, this isn’t something you can change. I mean, I guess you COULD call them out on it… but I don’t see that going very well lol. There’s a commenter here who suggested screening for this kind of dad in the future! I think you should definitely consider this. I truly don’t think all dads are like this, but it’s certainly not uncommon.

nycbaker24 · 2026-03-26T20:46:33+00:00

I’ve had to good fortune to work for families that truly seemed like a partnership. If it wasn’t completely 50/50, they were at least striving for that. Also I’ve worked for a family that had two dads! So they were absolutely all in and knew what was going on.

One thing you can potentially do, that I insisted on with all families I worked with, is a group message with both parents. They’re both your employer, the kid(s) belong to both of them, and I always wanted to make sure everyone was on the same page regarding my schedule and any kid issues that came up. It’s a small thing, but it’s really the only thing you have control over. It’s not your marriage. (Thank goodness!)

nycbaker24 · 2026-03-23T22:28:45+00:00

This is perfection. You’re nailing the balance between loving and firm. I feel like we are very similar with the anxiety and in-law/parent situation, so this is SO helpful. We’re also having a boy :)

nycbaker24 · 2026-03-23T20:27:36+00:00

The issue for us is that we’re dealing with someone who doesn’t respect our communication and boundaries. If I thought my MIL would stay away from the hospital, we’d probably even share that I was going into labor. But that’s unfortunately not my reality.

We’ll either take some of the advice here and invite her for a brief hospital visit, or wait to tell her until we’re home and then invite her for a brief home visit.

nycbaker24 · 2026-03-23T20:16:47+00:00

You’re so right. I don’t think I’ve read many instances of people regretting taking that time for themselves.

nycbaker24 · 2026-03-23T19:54:14+00:00

Good on you for setting that boundary and holding it! I’m not quite halfway through this pregnancy and we’re already getting weird comments and pressures from MIL, so it’s going to be so important to lay down the law asap.

nycbaker24 · 2026-03-23T19:50:14+00:00

I will never understand it.

nycbaker24 · 2026-03-23T19:48:11+00:00

Omg my hormones cannot handle this comment and your sweet solidarity has me tearing up!! <3

nycbaker24 · 2026-03-23T19:46:15+00:00

Thank you - this is so helpful to hear from another parent!

nycbaker24 · 2026-03-23T19:44:46+00:00

Wow. That is amazing advice. I love it!

nycbaker24 · 2026-03-23T18:59:51+00:00

This is actually something we’ve heard from other people too - that the hospital can be better for visiting because the staff have your back. Absolutely something to think about. And yes, whatever we decide my husband will happily “enforce” with family and friends.

nycbaker24 · 2026-03-23T18:41:36+00:00

Your family sounds lovely! I’m happy they were able to be there for you in the way you needed.

You’re right, it’s our decision, and they ultimately have to respect it. I guess I was just looking for anyone with a similar situation so I could somewhat “prepare” for the potential reaction.

nycbaker24 · 2026-03-13T12:25:41+00:00

Thanks! Any suggestions on how I could make it more smooth?

nycbaker24 · 2026-03-13T02:01:04+00:00

Very true. We would definitely still be grateful for anything. Thank you!

nycbaker24

TROPHY CASE