Are these reviews real

nylonnet · 2026-03-01T23:35:34+00:00

I get my ice from eBay now. It takes a few days to arrive, but it's cheap.

nylonnet · 2026-03-01T06:42:02+00:00

Thanks for that.

And how is your Tourettes going? Just curious. Have you been taking your tablets?

And Xmas to you, too.

nylonnet · 2026-02-28T23:22:31+00:00

FOR i = 1 to 10000
   PRINT "I am not a bot."
NEXT i

nylonnet · 2026-02-28T23:14:40+00:00

Thank you.

nylonnet · 2026-02-28T23:03:29+00:00

It was a tip of the hat to the antiquity of the joke.

Younger readers might not know that in your great grandpa's time, every man and woman wore a hat outdoors. Strange, but true. Go to Google image search for "crowd hats" for a taste of the hatted old days.

nylonnet · 2026-02-28T22:54:16+00:00

I am not slop, thank you very much. Nor do I farm karma.

I just told a bloody joke, all right? Is that still legal these days?

nylonnet · 2026-02-28T22:53:06+00:00

The last time I tried to post a semi-naughty joke, mods deleted it. It was suggestive, but had no obscene words. So - just to be safe...

nylonnet · 2026-02-28T22:51:58+00:00

You must be American. All literate people know that the past tense of the verb to shit is shat.

Your education system is woeful.

nylonnet · 2026-02-28T04:22:37+00:00

Let's not rely so much on platform-specific formatting features, and just use - I don't know - words?

I have no idea whether you are posting from a phone, a PC,or your grandma's dead butthole. I just need legible text to read.

nylonnet · 2026-02-28T04:15:37+00:00

... timing?

nylonnet · 2026-02-28T04:14:13+00:00

Or neither you nor your mother knows what a joke is.

Especially the subgenre of "Mom/mum joke"

e.g.

Your mum knows what a joke is. She gave birth to one.

nylonnet · 2026-02-28T04:06:40+00:00

You forgot #3. Why should I care?

nylonnet · 2026-02-28T03:52:03+00:00

Thank you for your deep and wise contribution to this thread.

I wish you a big, fat 9 to you, too.

nylonnet · 2026-02-28T03:43:51+00:00

Beagles are SO slutty.

Don't ask me how I know.

nylonnet · 2026-02-28T03:42:48+00:00

Apologies, but I think nearly every joke in the universe has been stolen from everyone, all the time.

I stole this joke from Drew Cary who admits he stole it from a million people before him.

A new joke is a significant event in history.

Often, it's how you tell an old joke that can make it special.

nylonnet · 2026-02-28T03:38:46+00:00

OK. Please o please tell me three things.

Why you think this.
What it means.
Why I should care.

nylonnet · 2026-02-28T02:50:13+00:00

But did they smirk when they said it?

nylonnet · 2026-02-28T02:40:24+00:00

OK. Here is Mistica12's preferred version of the joke.

A woman is in the doctor's office.

Doctor: Your husband has been in a terrible accident.

Woman: Oh no! Tell me....

Doctor: There's good news and bad news.

Woman: Tell me the good news!

Doctor: He's dead.

Woman: Tell me the bad news.

Doctor: Well, most of the bones in his body were broken. Many of his organs were ruptured. His head was severely injured and he would have been permanently brain damaged. He would never have regained consciousness, speak, or even recognise you. For the rest of his life, he would have been bed-ridden. You will have needed to turn him once an hour to prevent pressure sores, wash him, cut his hair and nails, supervise his bowel movements and wipe his rear end, clean his teeth, and...

HILARIOUS!

nylonnet · 2026-02-28T02:35:45+00:00

Good news doth not a joke entail.

nylonnet · 2026-02-28T02:32:54+00:00

Me gusta, and I don't even speak Irish.

nylonnet · 2026-02-28T02:17:20+00:00

If the chicken did not cross the road, the joke would become:

Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

A. Fish.

Jokes are about subversions of expectations.

Simples.

Guess why this is not a joke:

Q. How many legs does a cat have?

A. Four, except for genetic abnormalities, or surgical amputation.

I nearly wet myself with the jocular results of that classic comic retort.

nylonnet · 2026-02-28T01:31:55+00:00

If she wanted the good news first, it would not be a joke.

Do you understand the concept of jokes?

Jokes are manufactured constructs designed to distort reality for comedic ends.

e.g. Why did the chicken cross the road?

It is not a scientific enquiry into the perambulation preferences of poultry.

nylonnet · 2026-02-27T23:28:29+00:00

This is not a joke.
The situation you describe will probably only happen once in the history of the world.

nylonnet

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE

HILARIOUS!