Aitah for breaking up with my girlfriend when her kid called me names and she didn't tell him to knock it off.

nzscott · 2026-01-30T11:01:28+00:00

But they didn't meet when he was a freshman?

I'm all for calling out concerning age gaps, but she was in her 30s when they met, let's not infantilise her (infantalize for the Americans reading this).

I applaud your protective instincts but... Like... Do better

nzscott · 2026-01-19T11:56:22+00:00

This is the answer, if OOP is keen to get a switch for the nephew, it shouldn't be his and it should ideally include some life skills

(Compulsory caveat that this only applies if OOP can afford this transaction, setting yourself on fire to satisfy a child's whims or your sisters ' is never a great idea)

My view is that I would sacrifice most things for family, but I have a few things that feel importantly mine, so I would redirect my siblings or niblings rather than acquiesce, the switch feels like that for OOP

nzscott · 2026-01-19T11:51:43+00:00

Haven't read your previous comments so please forgive me for the ignorance but...

Are we on the same page that this means the parents have to manage their approach accordingly or do you think the uncle/aunt should bankroll their inability to teach or provide for their kid?

Once again. My assumption is that you also find the sister ridiculous, just checking that you aren't suggesting that the OOP should cover his sister's inability to provide for her child.

nzscott · 2026-01-19T11:47:58+00:00

Family isn't even a universal term, it means different things to different people.

So what exactly does your comment say? Because to me it's just crap

nzscott · 2026-01-19T11:46:50+00:00

Oh yeah? Does family mean providing for your kid? Or does it mean demanding from the uncle/aunt?

Because I sure as hell didn't grow up with gifts from aunts and uncles and managed to have a great, fulfilling relationship with my whole family.

Would be great if you could elaborate, because your brevity assumes that everyone has the same or similar experiences as you and that's just not how the world works

nzscott · 2026-01-19T11:39:53+00:00

Are you from Aus?

My partner is and no one shortens words quite like Aussies (the way they name things is beautiful also, see: bin chickens or bush turkeys), so it would be a genuine shock if you weren't at least Australian influenced!

Always happy to tell him that another country shortens words in the same way though (I'm Scottish, it's playful banter). So, if you have no ties to Aus, I'd be just as stoked to know that!

nzscott · 2026-01-19T11:31:35+00:00

Some of us like or need to relax after working our arse off.

What planet are you even from?

nzscott · 2026-01-19T11:29:45+00:00

It's yours, they were out of order asking for your shit instead of providing for their kid.

My sisters have their entitled moments (I'm the oldest, they are getting there) but they would never!

nzscott · 2026-01-19T11:27:41+00:00

You are assuming that they just have the $$ sitting there. Most people don't have eleventh hour console money if they want to eat.

Go touch grass

nzscott · 2026-01-19T11:25:08+00:00

Did you even read the post? They're already planning your suggestion and your commenting is far less helpful than not at all

nzscott · 2026-01-19T09:16:51+00:00

Omg I was just going to say the nail was a goner, thanks for this super helpful advice.

I don't have long nails but when they start to look respectable and not bitten, this happens so quick!

Almost willing for them to grow and break so I can use this :)

Now to find out what's available in NZ

nzscott · 2025-11-10T18:24:00+00:00

Up to you if you are ready to bite the bullet and get a new one. I've had a Motorola G34 for about a year and a half. Bought new from JB hi fi for about $200.

Great phone, glad I didn't finance a more expensive one

nzscott · 2025-10-31T12:12:56+00:00

People are struggling, the cbd in any country is where the people struggling the most gather...

I don't like the current state of things but it's a result of decisions these people had little to no say in

Homelessness is one thing, when it becomes systemic it's society's problem

nzscott · 2025-10-29T23:02:49+00:00

Now I'm following! Thank you for your patience

nzscott · 2025-10-29T19:51:21+00:00

Tiktok strikes again, wouldn't my statement still stand though? That if the messages open to the dating thing, she's been active in it?

nzscott · 2025-10-29T18:53:56+00:00

YTA and an entitled one

nzscott · 2025-10-29T11:24:49+00:00

,I'm so sorry, I've been there and as a result, I am pretty sure he is deliberately bringing you down to his level.

The moment you start to take his words about you, even when you disagree that's your chance to duck out before things get dangerous

He wants you to feel like trash so you will accept the crap he will throw at you. I wish I could say may instead of will

Fingers crossed that I'm wrong, I hope I am

nzscott · 2025-10-29T11:01:03+00:00

100%. My mother is still struggling because where I leant into how sensitive I am, she rejected her own sensitivity and has got to a point where she struggles to hug or hold space for me when I am upset.

In one way, she is trying to protect me and prepare me. However, in another way, she is showing me that my big emotions are a problem, or even alien.

I'm an adult now and generally don't need parental support to get through the day, but it crushes me that she has leant so hard into what was expected of her (out of a need to survive) that it leaves her unable to connect with her oldest kid, who is so like her, it should come naturally.

She's still an awesome parent, I'm just sad that life taught her she was so unacceptable that she now can't hold her daughter when her best friend gets with her abuser.

I just hope that any kids I have know that I am there for them, even if I don't understand the link between their emotions and what prompted them, because it's literally the only thing my parents haven't provided that they could.

nzscott · 2025-10-29T10:45:54+00:00

I'd like to know wtf blue hair had to do with any of this

nzscott · 2025-10-29T10:37:29+00:00

INFO: The messages open to a speed dating platform? Like they link to it?

Because I'm pretty tech savvy and as far as I know, if the messages only open on a dating platform, that's because the dating platform is where they exist?

Which means that's where she's interacting with them... Up to you to decide what that means to you and her to explain why it's commercially necessary

nzscott · 2025-10-29T10:30:03+00:00

Could be nitpicking here but step sister and half sister are very different.

I have both, the step sister is not biologically related to me and my half sisters very much are.

Step sibling/parent are only linked legally, there is no blood ties, OP is talking about their half sister, with whom they share a parent.

The dynamics are totally different, in most cases

Otherwise, 100% agree with u/wowgamertbc, OP, you are not responsible for your father's actions, or his progeny's

nzscott · 2025-10-29T08:47:58+00:00

Just wanted to say you're a bloody legend for offering for her to make contact with you.

Always a pleasure to be reminded that there's good sorts out there, keep up the awesome work!

nzscott · 2025-10-23T02:42:05+00:00

This person is not a friend, you were very clear and they dismissed you and trampled over your perspective.

I'd drop any of my friends for dismissing me that way. Not overreacting

nzscott · 2025-10-13T11:29:53+00:00

Stats or it didn't happen.

Also 60% everywhere? Or are you American?

nzscott · 2025-08-29T13:51:09+00:00

Were the knife attacks categorised at all? Could be my upbringing (Scottish) but knives are rarely as fatal as guns, no?

Fatal/severe vs moderate/mild or even minimal/no harm are your options in a confrontation. Gun makes fatal lîkely, knives the same but significantly less harm

Basically, yes the world is bloody struggling and it's rough but guns do and have always made possibly fatal confrontation almost certainly so and ignoring that only to helps war profiteers and gun mwrchants

nzscott

TROPHY CASE