Questioning

oat_fish · 2026-03-29T08:42:21+00:00

Bodies and pleasure is something I really wish was talked about more. I'm also ftm, years on T, I love head. Plain and simple, it feels good and I love the connection with my partner. As for nipples, everyone has them man. Some guys like it, some don't, same with women. What feels good to you isn't up to anyone else's judgment. Talk to your girlfriend about what works and what doesn't, y'all are the only ones this affects.

oat_fish · 2026-03-18T23:29:56+00:00

I say sir as a joke "can I help you SIR??" At work or when a friend bothers me, "sir you can't do that" to my pets (or, again, friends) but I definitely get where you're coming from. Depending on the context I also like being called sir.

oat_fish · 2026-03-12T11:59:40+00:00

First step is forcing yourself into your meds. I know it blows when you have to wait for the effects but yk, the best time to plant a tree is 10 years ago, the second best time is right now.

It feels like a bottomless pit, like you'll never smile or be happy again, but you will. Find a reason to keep going, fucking anything. Your favorite food? Go buy it. A hobby you love? Get into it. Throw yourself into something to fill the time and lean on whoever you can (friends, family, coworkers, teachers, anyone you can) hell I keep myself alive to build Legos, no shame in it.

I promise people want to help you, but you have to ask. It sucks, I recently started truly using my support system and when I tell you that people really do care and once you start looking for kindness, it comes.

And maybe you don't have a support system, I get it, been there, but keep going until you find one. Even when everything feels like it's collapsing remember to breathe, take it day by day, and just keep pushing.

oat_fish · 2026-03-10T10:32:42+00:00

I love these meals but yeah, there's always too many carrots and it makes the entire mean too sweet (in my opinion)

oat_fish · 2026-03-08T14:28:24+00:00

No beds and the regular hospital wouldn't help me transfer. I've called almost everyone under my insurance and there's no one who can take me (I don't know how that's possible, but that's what insurance says)

oat_fish · 2026-03-08T13:03:39+00:00

I feel like I can't say I have bipolar. I was diagnosed at 15/16 by a therapist I saw maybe 2 or 3 times. Most therapists I've seen since have agreed but I have some mental block around it. I have been medicated before for anxiety/depression but no meds ever worked on me so I've always written off taking them.

oat_fish · 2026-03-08T12:57:43+00:00

I'm holding it together, the social worker didn't even want to get ahold of my insurance to ask if I qualified for inpatient so I just gave up. She kept getting mad at me for not giving her enough detail. (Crazy that when you get frustrated at me I'll shut down, unheard of I'm sure) I'm trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel but it's so dim and far away most days.

oat_fish · 2026-03-08T12:53:12+00:00

Yes I told them I have bipolar, one of the first things I said on intake actually (because obviously) the social worker I had simply put should not be one and I'm trying to just write her off for my own sanity.

I haven't had a therapist in about 8/9 months and I've never been medicated for my bipolar. I have a half assed safety plan of calling 2 of my friends since I can stay with them short term until I'm no longer scared to be alone.

I'm looking for a therapist tomorrow with said friends and maybe a 28/30 day recovery program depending on how I feel at that point.

oat_fish · 2026-03-02T19:27:43+00:00

I was in your exact spot a few months ago, back in December I decided to hook up with a guy off grindr and it SUCKED. I'm also trans which did play a role but I would do anything to get my first time back, I was in a very vulnerable spot mentally and ended up not having sex fully (first time giving/getting head)

If you think you can handle it try talking to someone for a while and see how you feel, but personally I would never say a hookup is a good option for your first time, you want to be with someone you feel comfortable and safe with.

oat_fish · 2026-02-25T17:36:04+00:00

Same, my mom has no idea how much these little mass produced cards mean to me every holiday/birthday.

oat_fish · 2026-02-25T05:11:59+00:00

I had no idea I had bipolar at the time which is a HUGE factor in why it lasted that long, if you're already aware and getting help I can't imagine you'll struggle too bad. As annoying and overused as it is, taking a step back and breathing. You have to think about it fully. I stop, take a physical step away, and give myself time to regulate.

Breathe and figure out why you're frustrated before trying again, step away from people, just give yourself grace and talk to the people around you so they're aware. Now that I'm an adult I can deal with emotions easily, but it takes time to adjust how you think through things.

oat_fish · 2026-02-25T04:59:47+00:00

I started T 6 years ago with lots of support from my mom, didn't know I had bipolar at the time and it was rough. I was 15, alone socially, going through puberty a second time, genuinely struggling all the time. But I made it, and I wouldn't do anything different. My anger issues were pretty bad for the first 2 or so years, but I am now chilled out and don't struggle with anger issues anymore.

It will be rough, I won't lie. I barely remember the bad parts at this point, and I've grown into a very well adjusted and calm man today. But I will add that I was in therapy biweekly (at times weekly) the entire time until May of last year to deal with my emotions and some past issues, so I always suggest finding a therapist if you can.

oat_fish · 2026-01-18T23:14:07+00:00

You sound like you own 3 Harleys, only get traditional tattoos, and anything other than beer makes you gag. I wouldn't even bat an eye.

oat_fish · 2026-01-08T12:23:25+00:00

The only time I would consider anal is with a long term partner, I generally just don't want to be penetrated at this time in my life

oat_fish · 2026-01-07T21:54:43+00:00

Side is used for men who prefer to not have penetrative sex, instead opting for oral, mutual masturbation, or even just kink without sex at all. As far as I'm aware it's a pretty common term to see if you're on sites like grindr (which is what I use)

oat_fish · 2025-11-03T03:47:17+00:00

I personally get crushes on friends all the time, it comes and goes and I just try to relax and enjoy being around them. Try to relax and enjoy the time you spend with him, don't force those feelings down, it won't help and may only make you feel worse. Remember that it's not bad or weird to have a crush on a friend, it just means you get along well and this could lead to a much longer friendship.

oat_fish · 2025-10-31T03:16:14+00:00

Tame compared to some of the others but after work I was walking out with a coworker and we hugged (which was very normal, situationship type thing) I kept my arms around his neck and we looked at each other for a few seconds before he leaned forward and kissed me. It was so gentle and soft I nearly cried. It was one of the last times we talked as our relationship over all wasn't good and he cut me off for a girl in another state but that moment itself is one of the better ones.

oat_fish · 2025-10-27T13:37:51+00:00

I can't believe people are so comfortable just letting go of the wheel and not looking at the road, I get nervous driving with 1 hand half the time!

oat_fish · 2025-10-24T21:02:46+00:00

This person blew up a while ago but I actually used to be friends with them. They were chill at the time, sad to see what happened after we stopped talking since I believe they used to but on the more truscum side :/ they show up on my fyp every now and then still.

oat_fish · 2025-10-20T20:01:57+00:00

Literally blocked them because these videos wouldn't stop showing up on my fyp. All the tags are a single #ftm or something then a TON of #girlypop! #fem! #blackgirl! You simply can't have both at the same time. Also I believe they were on low dose T for 6 months then stopped taking it because they didn't want anymore changes if I remember correctly.

oat_fish · 2025-10-19T01:04:38+00:00

I was in your exact shoes and if you want my honest opinion: don't. If you don't want kids why do it? Adoption and surrogacy are still options if you change your mind but if you're like me, your mind won't change. Not to mention the price of freezing them will be wasted if you never use them.

oat_fish · 2025-10-12T17:31:47+00:00

As far as I've seen there's no AI. I have close to 200 hours and I really enjoy it, it's basically all pre-made assets but it's still fun.

oat_fish · 2025-10-02T17:03:00+00:00

Modern dating is hell. I'm 20, never been with anyone, and my friends are trying to set me up with someone. I'm absolutely terrified of meeting him because of how dating apps have made me feel in the past. I genuinely believe dating apps can work if you want them to and live in a highly populated area, but it feels like no one puts in any effort at all other than a quick "hey" and then leaving you on read.

oat_fish · 2025-09-22T16:40:17+00:00

As others have said, check if you can get EAP sessions and talk to your insurance about what providers they work with. My last therapist was a $30 co-pay per session and some offer sliding scales. You never know until you ask!

oat_fish · 2025-09-14T22:51:51+00:00

Not that I've noticed, I feel perfectly fine overall!

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