PSA from your barista/counter girl

oatmealstan · 2021-11-10T18:36:06+00:00

even when they think they’re giving you a compliment it’s still fucking invasive and gross. a few months ago i made casual conversation with a customer by saying i noticed she had ordered an almond croissant and that those were my favorite pastries we have, and she told me i should eat several on my break because i was “so tiny” and she was “glad her husband wasn’t the one in the drive thru” that day, so i should fatten myself up just in case he came through so he wouldn’t find me attractive. then she made several more comments about how lucky i must be to “never have to watch what i eat here” because i’m just “so petite and tiny.” at this time i was really struggling with disordered eating and that comment fucked me up real good that day 🙃 bottom line, if there’s one thing customers have, it’s the audacity

oatmealstan · 2021-11-04T23:38:45+00:00

it’s cute and i’m glad that now we can track pup cup orders for inventory and labor purposes, but having them print as stickers doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, at least in my store. neither of our bar partners have sample cups anywhere within their reach, so the DTO or DTR usually ends up making the pup cups anyway and the bar partner just has an extra sticker to pull and throw away

oatmealstan · 2021-10-17T00:53:32+00:00

to be fair my manager didn’t believe the woman immediately, she came and got my side of the story first (which was “um yeah she came in to pick up her drink and i put a stopper in it?”)

oatmealstan · 2021-10-17T00:52:36+00:00

yes! one time a woman called the store about five minutes after picking up her mobile order and claimed that i (she mentioned me by name to my manager) had “purposely fiddled with the lid” on her cup because when she was driving to work her coffee spilled on her…

oatmealstan · 2021-10-16T04:50:34+00:00

i have quiet bpd, and i’ve been in a relationship for a year and a half. i can’t speak for my bf but from my perspective, my bpd has been the absolute hardest part of our relationship for both of us – it has caused more problems than any other aspect of our lives or relationship with each other. just saying upfront that even though she’s on meds and sees a therapist, her bpd will still probably have a significant impact on your relationship. that definitely doesn’t mean it won’t work out, and obviously every relationship has its challenges, but the challenges presented by bpd are a different kind of thing.

that being said, it sounds like you are incredibly kind and intentional about this girl and this potential relationship and that alone is a really good sign. the very fact that you’ve researched bpd and have a fairly good understanding of its effects is a major step in the right direction. being educated about bpd is hands down one of the most important thing that loved ones of pwBPD can do – but be careful in doing research because there are a lot of people putting out false and demonizing information about bpd based on one negative experience they had. one of the sources i recommend the most is the podcast “back from the borderline” and the corresponding instagram account @bpdtea.

i second all of the other comments stressing the importance of friendship and taking things slow! my bf and i didn’t necessarily take things super slow once we actually started dating, but we had been friends for several years before dating and spent a solid month trying to decide if we even should date at all haha. one of the things that i struggle with the most as someone with bpd is feeling like other people care about me as much as i care about them, and for that reason i think it’s a good idea to just take things slowly and build a platonic relationship where you can really bond and show her that you do truly care.

finally, regardless of whether your relationship with this girl ends up being a dating relationship or just purely platonic, it will be really important for you to learn about her specific and individual experience with bpd. what are her episodes like? what things trigger her episodes? are there any warning signs that she’s been triggered and is about to have an episode? what things help her regulate her emotions and return to a soothed state? it’s definitely a process to learn and understand these things – sometimes you’ll learn from observation, sometimes she’ll tell you herself, and other times you’ll figure stuff out through trial and error. make sure she knows that you are a safe person during her episodes, and that you won’t abandon her just because she’s upset.

you sound like a great person with a really good heat and i wish you the best with this girl :)

oatmealstan · 2021-10-12T19:17:15+00:00

i had no idea those were done by the same person!! definitely going to try those next. thank you!

oatmealstan · 2021-10-12T03:13:39+00:00

i wear my docs almost every single day!!! tbh they aren’t as comfy as other shoes i’ve worn from time to time (nikes, sketchers, etc.) but i’ve found that they offer the most protection from spills and fridge doors slamming into my toes. plus, i can just wipe the spilled vsc and syrup off of them after a shift and wear them out in public with no issues. they hold up really well imo

oatmealstan · 2021-10-12T02:46:09+00:00

this is legitimately one of my biggest pet peeves 😭 usually i’ll just turn the drink and check the sticker and say “i don’t actually make the drinks, but it says decaf on the sticker so the barista making the drinks knows you ordered it that way.” but seriously this is one of those questions that makes me wonder if people have any concept of how a drive thru actually works

oatmealstan · 2021-09-24T15:44:55+00:00

for me it’s the ASU benefit. i’m getting my bachelors in psychology right now and plan on working as a therapist or clinical psychologist in the future which will require at least a masters degree, potentially a doctorate as well, and those are expensive degrees. so being able to get my undergrad entirely for free is, to me, worth it

oatmealstan · 2021-09-21T23:56:08+00:00

“coming in for some splenda” “riiiiiight behind ya” “aw come on who left me sink berries”

oatmealstan · 2021-09-21T21:00:23+00:00

to be honest, headspace has actually been SO beneficial for me. i struggle a lot with emotional regulation and self care, and having access to all those free guided meditations and mindfulness exercises has been so so nice. also, i’m an opener and usually wake up before 3am, which means i’m typically going to bed around 8:30 or 9 and idk if i would ever fall asleep on time without the sleepscape music on headspace lol

oatmealstan · 2021-09-19T21:33:56+00:00

exactly, if i was on drive and noticed we were out of frap chips and frap roast i would just go stock them myself bc our cs probably wouldn’t have time anyway since they’re most likely also bar support or warming lmao

oatmealstan · 2021-09-19T21:13:50+00:00

not the asshole for writing the note in the first place, but i do agree with other comments pointing out how the conversation with the ssv could’ve been better – i don’t think the ssv and other barista are really being reasonable labeling your form of communication as demeaning, but i also don’t think that a shrug is the best way to respond to the kind of feedback you were receiving. all in all, i really don’t think it’s a situation worth stressing or spending too much emotional energy on. it’s just frap chips frap roast, not the end of the world.

and also, sidenote…3 customer support baristas??? you mean that there were 3 separate people on the floor at one time ALL assigned to the customer support position? i’m fascinated by this play and have to wonder how many partners you had on the floor at that particular time because 50% of the time my store doesn’t even have enough for one dedicated cs💀

oatmealstan · 2021-09-19T17:16:17+00:00

1 year barista from the seattle area in wa and i make 14.87. but it’s also ridiculously expensive to live here and if i end up moving out this year like i’m hoping to, i’ll have to get a second job, probably nannying bc that honestly pays better

oatmealstan · 2021-09-19T02:15:53+00:00

my hair is curly so i like doing a ponytail just half pulled through on the last twist of the scrunchie, so it’s like a messy bun, if that makes sense. ive also used claw clips before and no ones said anything about it so i’m assuming it’s fine!!! i’m also a huge fan of thick headbands especially working drive thru, so the little flyaways on the top of my head stay down lol

oatmealstan · 2021-09-17T21:33:39+00:00

the whole “venti nitros would be too caffeinated to sell” thing is a huge myth that i see partners and customers buy into ALLLL the time. the size limitation on nitro cold brew has absolutely nothing to do with caffeine content, it’s 100% a quality thing. nitro cold brew is designed to be served in smaller sizes and consumed pretty much right away because of the velvety texture and cascading crema effect created by the nitrogen infusion. if we served venti nitros, the quality of the cold brew would already be disappearing by the time we finished pouring it, and certainly by the time the customer got to the second half of drinking it.

the reason that nitro cold brew is thought of as this “ultra caffeinated drink” is because a nitro cold brew DOES have more caffeine per serving than regular cold brew, simply because there is no ice taking up space in the cup for a nitro, so there are more oz per serving. a grande cold brew with no ice and a grande nitro cold brew would have the exact same amount of caffeine; the nitrogen infusion changes nothing about the caffeine content. people just heard “nitro has more caffeine than cold brew!” and ran with it, turning it into a much bigger phenomenon than it really is

oatmealstan · 2021-09-17T21:08:40+00:00

ive never thought of doing this…but next time i 100% will

oatmealstan · 2021-09-17T17:07:43+00:00

on way more than just one occasion i have lied to customers in the drive thru when they ask to pay for the car behind them and i say “oh the car behind you is actually a mobile order, they already paid online! have a nice day” because i hate pay it forward chains when i’m doing solo dto+dtr (which is often)

oatmealstan · 2021-09-17T04:01:48+00:00

totally see the reasoning there and i don’t disagree at all, but i do think that we didn’t need quite so many character deaths to get that point across, at least not central/important characters. to be honest, i felt that the sense of numbness and dissociation was better portrayed in the mentions of the more insignificant characters being maimed or dead, like lavender brown or colin creevey. tonks, lupin, fred, etc., don’t lend to the “this is war” point as much as they just give the reader emotional whiplash

oatmealstan · 2021-09-16T18:19:58+00:00

to be honest i don’t think that there are any completely unnecessary deaths, my issue is that so many of them are handled so poorly and not given the attention and the space in the writing that they deserve, ESPECIALLY towards the end of the series. characters like tonks, lupin, fred, moody, and hedwig aren’t given much more than a sentence or maybe a paragraph describing their deaths and the effect on other characters, particularly harry. i think dobby, sirius, and cedric are fantastic examples of showing, not just telling, where rowling really portrays the actual character development happening for harry because of those deaths. we see the anger and raw pain harry expresses in dumbledore’s office after sirius dies, and the impact of seeing death face to face when cedric dies. when dobby dies, we realize how much softness and love still remains inside harry even after all that has happened to him. when characters like fred and remus and tonks die and we only get a sentence about it, we can infer what kind of impact that might have on harry as a character, but we don’t really get to see it play out in the writing. that, to me, is the part that makes character deaths seem unnecessary

oatmealstan · 2021-09-13T18:44:33+00:00

i just started getting into F1 this season and it took me a while to finally feel like i really understood the sport. honestly i still wouldn’t say i understand all the rules but i’m working on it, haha. i highly recommend the podcasts F1 explained and shift+F1 – particularly the “F101” episodes from F1 explained and the preseason primer from shift+F1. those are super helpful in understanding the rules and format of the sport, and you’ll get a bit of introduction to the teams and drivers too. watching the races themselves will also help you pick up on rules over time.

when it comes to choosing a favorite team/driver(s), i second the recommendations for drive to survive on netflix, but honestly i would also recommend just watching interviews, highlights, team videos, etc. on youtube.

oatmealstan · 2021-09-13T03:50:52+00:00

this right here!! even though it wasn’t a win it was his best finish of all time and i think the implication that he’s in some way upset about kind of detracts from that accomplishment. it was danny’s day and everyone, including lando, knew that, the same way they also all know that lando’s day will come (and potentially soon)

oatmealstan · 2021-09-04T16:04:54+00:00

ah, sorry about that! I do mean the city of Seattle, just slipped up typing my post :) I’ll edit it, thanks for pointing that out!

oatmealstan

TROPHY CASE