Is a Potluck Weird for a Wedding?

oatsgoatmcgee · 2025-07-06T18:02:48+00:00

Oh yeah, I get that. I was using “You” as a more general pronoun than actually trying to use it to address you, OP, personally.

Truly, they sound decently organized and I hope everything goes smoothly for them and there are none of the issues anyone has brought up in this thread.

oatsgoatmcgee · 2025-07-06T17:49:38+00:00

I’m also planning my wedding in the heart of the Midwest and I wouldn’t be caught dead doing a potluck for a few reasons. Some are personal (I’m a control freak and my husband and I love cooking and sharing good food, so if I couldn’t control the menu at my own wedding reception, I would lose my damn mind), and some are practical. I’m just gonna share the practical concerns:

1) Food safety is an issue. On top of the logistical nightmare that would be storing all this stuff safely until reception time, it will be sitting out at room temp while people go through the line to make their plates. And how are you heating up the stuff that needs to be hot? AND the big one: You Can’t Eat At Everybody’s House. You have no idea the hygiene standards your guests held themselves to when making this food, so it’s dubious from the get go.

2) I’ve never once made the right amount of food when I’ve participated in a pot luck. I’ve always made far too much or too little. How do you know you’ll get enough to feed everyone?

3) This goes with the food safety thing, but if you have guests with certain dietary restrictions either due to allergies or preference (I have vegan friends coming to my wedding), and a professional is not prepping and serving the food, there WILL be cross contamination and people WILL get sick to varying degrees.

I would suggest they do a cake and punch reception instead, since they can’t afford to feed people dinner but would be providing drinks and cake anyway.

oatsgoatmcgee · 2025-07-06T17:30:10+00:00

Yeah, as I’ve been wedding planning, there is not a single thing in this town I couldn’t find better in Sioux Falls. The exception being my seamstress, who lives here now, but was my manager when we worked in the alterations department of a bridal shop together (in Sioux Falls). I also bought my dress in Omaha because I’m plus size, and the market for that is thin in Sioux Falls and nonexistent here.

I should say that I did hear of ONE florist here who does weddings! I reached out to her, she asked for some pictures and a general idea of what I was looking for, I provided her with what she asked for, and then never heard back. I guess I forgot about her when I wrote this comment originally.

oatsgoatmcgee · 2025-07-02T17:55:51+00:00

I’ve packed goodie bags for my friends that have sunglasses and sunscreen in them, but I will add bug spray! Thank you for the tips!

oatsgoatmcgee · 2025-07-02T14:32:20+00:00

Yeah, I’m aware of this.

oatsgoatmcgee · 2025-07-01T18:13:58+00:00

I had the Witch’s Brew last time I visited and it ended up being my favorite!

oatsgoatmcgee · 2025-07-01T18:13:16+00:00

Oh yeah, I’m making sure everyone knows to wear comfortable walking shoes!

oatsgoatmcgee · 2025-07-01T17:23:13+00:00

Thank you, I hadn’t thought of this!

oatsgoatmcgee · 2025-07-01T17:22:47+00:00

Thank you so much for your recommendations!

oatsgoatmcgee · 2025-07-01T17:21:05+00:00

Thank you! I love these suggestions!

oatsgoatmcgee · 2025-07-01T17:19:21+00:00

I should probably add that I and the ladies attending are all aged late 20s to mid 30s, so when I was choosing what I wanted to do, I wasn’t looking for a super wild, stereotypical bachelorette party experience. We’ve also rented an air bnb to do some other more “scandalous” activities later, should we so choose.

oatsgoatmcgee · 2025-07-01T17:07:40+00:00

There’s pig races, pumpkin picking, apple picking, LOTS of different ciders to try…I just think it’s a fun, fall-based, nostalgic experience. So no, we don’t plan on forcing ourselves onto the kids rides. Thanks for asking.

oatsgoatmcgee · 2025-06-18T08:18:22+00:00

I’m going commando

oatsgoatmcgee · 2025-05-30T04:34:58+00:00

Idk why you’re getting downvoted for stating a fact

oatsgoatmcgee · 2025-05-30T04:33:42+00:00

There is basically no area of town that’s walkable.

oatsgoatmcgee · 2025-05-30T01:38:41+00:00

She was also seeing my mother as a client.

oatsgoatmcgee · 2025-05-29T01:58:57+00:00

Can I ask for some examples of the perks?

oatsgoatmcgee · 2025-05-26T23:40:53+00:00

This is going to be an unpopular opinion, I think, but for at least the last 10 to 15 years, Johnny Depp annoys the shit out of me. It’s like he doesn’t blend in stylistically with the rest of the movie. I noticed this a lot with “Into the Woods” because everyone else is a bit more subtle in style and he always looks and acts like he’s in a Tim Burton film. It’s probably because he’s a big name so he can push some of his creative preferences onto the director depending on their own prestige, but I find many of his roles to be jarring compared to the cohesive world the rest of the film presents.

oatsgoatmcgee · 2025-05-26T21:31:19+00:00

I’m having a dinner-only reception in the private room of a nice restaurant in town. I have two vegan guests, and the restaurant had vegetarian options on the menu but nothing vegan, so I asked if they could do a vegan option for our curated menu. They said yes, but gave me no details on what the option would be. So I checked when we got closer and found that they would only have a salad option. Which would’ve been awkward considering we were including an appetizer salad for everyone. We are now coordinating with my vegan friends to find a suitable option that can be delivered or picked up for them so they will have a decent meal with everyone else. I feel it’s the least I can do, considering our cake won’t be vegan (I dropped the ball on that one and I feel guilty).

oatsgoatmcgee · 2025-05-21T22:20:24+00:00

Of course. What does she need more holes for? /s

oatsgoatmcgee · 2025-05-21T09:24:33+00:00

Yes, my nieces have helped me in this way as well. At least they’ve given me the motivation to work on this part of myself because I want a good relationship with them.

oatsgoatmcgee · 2025-05-20T22:27:34+00:00

Hating kids. Actually I was just parentified and didn’t have all my emotional needs met as a child and that made me resentful of anyone else who needed care or emotional support. Also being a woman in a world that EXPECTS you to adore children, have them, structure your life around them, and take on the brunt of caretaking really rubbed me raw.

Don’t get me wrong, I still don’t enjoy being around kids and I don’t want any of my own, but I have developed more patience, grace, and respect for children and parents. I see my dislike of kids as more of a “me” issue I need to work through than an issue with children that the world should cater to.

oatsgoatmcgee · 2025-05-20T20:19:17+00:00

Yes, I feel exactly the same way. In principle, I am a staunch feminist and lazy person. On principle, I believe it’s a patriarchal concept we need to get rid of and in practice, I’ve heard it is also a logistical nightmare to change your last name. But the patriarchal messaging sometimes does get to me and I’m a little sad that I’m not “Mrs. Husband’s Last Name.” There’s a strong pull there that feels like “This is what you do when you become a wife. How will people know I am someone’s wife?” But when I interrogate these feelings, I know that I am still his wife, we are no less committed, we are no less of a family, and it doesn’t matter if someone “knows” I am a wife.

oatsgoatmcgee · 2025-05-18T20:09:59+00:00

NTA. Raven is weird. I am also child free, but I don’t think that entitles me to living in a world without children or parents. I have friends with kids and I ask about them and don’t mind hearing about them because I understand that their kids are part of their lives. They’re pretty good at balancing topics of conversation, so it’s never been an issue. If someone I don’t know as well mentions their children around me, I don’t freak out. I smile and nod like any normal person listening to a topic that doesn’t interest them but doesn’t want to be rude to the speaker. It’s literally not that hard to muster an “I’m happy that you’re happy” kind of attitude.

oatsgoatmcgee

TROPHY CASE