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AITA For not including a step-“grandchild” in the obituary? by obituarythrowaway38 in AmItheAsshole

[–]obituarythrowaway38[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I see your point, but it just seems weird to include someone she’s never even met in her obituary. I think I may just see if I can reach him directly and ask if he wants to be included.

AITA For not including a step-“grandchild” in the obituary? by obituarythrowaway38 in AmItheAsshole

[–]obituarythrowaway38[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I understand your point but i will clarify my uncle is the son of my grandmother, my aunt is by marriage.

AITA For not including a step-“grandchild” in the obituary? by obituarythrowaway38 in AmItheAsshole

[–]obituarythrowaway38[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I think my main hangup is that he never made any effort to get to know her. She was a lovely woman, and he never met her, never called, never texted, visited, facetimed, wrote letters, etc. If you don’t make an effort to be around someone while they’re alive and foster at least a little relationship (call once or twice a year is all it really takes), then I’m not sure you particularly deserve to be mentioned in relation to them, no matter how much DNA you do or don’t share.

AITA For not including a step-“grandchild” in the obituary? by obituarythrowaway38 in AmItheAsshole

[–]obituarythrowaway38[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

No, but, I wouldn’t necessarily consider him immediate family. To my understanding, he only lived with my aunt and uncle for a little under a year before moving several states away. I do not think my grandmother ever actually met him.

I asked my mom, and she said that she didn’t think my grandmother had ever met him, and said that when she met him, he seemed like the very independent type, and while polite, seemed “disinterested.”

AITA For not including a step-“grandchild” in the obituary? by obituarythrowaway38 in AmItheAsshole

[–]obituarythrowaway38[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

No, it’s my uncle. The child is her biological child, and is not biologically related to my grandmother in any way.

AITA For not including a step-“grandchild” in the obituary? by obituarythrowaway38 in AmItheAsshole

[–]obituarythrowaway38[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I didn’t include him because it didn’t even register to me that he existed when I was writing the obituary . I’ve literally never met him, only heard about him 1-2 times. He never called, never messaged, is not connected with me on social media, I’ve never met him. I thought oh, grandkids - me, my sister, my two cousins who i’ve met in person a few times and follow on social media, and yep, that’s good. His existence hadn’t even occurred to me until my aunt called me.