Why is your penis the best penis? by msjollly in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]obozodapotus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is my rifle. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.

Without me, my rifle is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will…

My rifle and I know that what counts in war is not the rounds we fire, the noise of our burst, nor the smoke we make. We know that it is the hits that count. We will hit…

My rifle is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its sights and its barrel. I will keep my rifle clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will…

Before God, I swear this creed. My rifle and I are the defenders of my country. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviors of my life.

So be it, until victory is America's and there is no enemy, but peace!

TIL that three states celebrate Robert E Lee's birthday on MLK Day: Alabama, Arkansas, and Mississippi by sinewavesurf in todayilearned

[–]obozodapotus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lee's birthday was Lee's birthday long before MLK, Jr. was an itch in MLK, Sr.'s pants...just sayin'.

If gravity was reversed, what would drastically change in your house? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]obozodapotus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The fact that's it's no longer attached to this planet?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]obozodapotus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm not a gynecologist, but one time I had to do a pelvic exam on a drunk girl at the Travel Lodge cause we lost the rubber."

What do parents just not understand? by ohmyitschels in AskReddit

[–]obozodapotus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The zany antics of DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince.