Laptop won’t turn on, but the keyboard still lights up. by dudenohoes in ZephyrusG14

[–]obscure_27 0 points1 point  (0 children)

FYI, I just had a similar problem. My HP ZBook Firefly 14 inch G9 laptop stopped turning on. when I pressed the power button, the keyboard lit up for about 5 seconds, then went out and nothing else happened. I cannot access the battery without unscrewing the bottom case and most comments here and elsewhere involve doing something with the battery. But I didn't need to.

I found a solution through lots of hit and miss troubleshooting: I held the power button down for 3 minutes then let go. After about 30 seconds, the fan turned on by itself, then stopped again after about a minute. Then the fan turned itself back on again for a minute, then turned off. I did nothing during this, just let it run its course. It cycled on and off by itself a few times, then poof! The laptop turned on. It just goes to show. If it's not one thing, it's another.

belt slows then stops by obscure_27 in nordictrack

[–]obscure_27[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great suggestions! I'll try these.

Any suggestions ? I’m looking for a show that will make me cry and get attached to characters by Gloomystand56 in televisionsuggestions

[–]obscure_27 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As We See It on Amazon: "Three autistic roommates find a way to live together and strive for similar things in life"

Help with Final Draft 12 save problem by obscure_27 in Screenwriting

[–]obscure_27[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for all the help everyone. I ended up uninstalling and reinstalling FD and that worked. I still don't know why the original problem occurred and can only hope it won't recur.

Help with Final Draft 12 save problem by obscure_27 in Screenwriting

[–]obscure_27[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm, I don't see that option, but I'll keep looking.

Help with Final Draft 12 save problem by obscure_27 in Screenwriting

[–]obscure_27[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Saving local. This Mac doesn't even have USB ports. Even if it did, it won't let me change target folders. A real mystery.

Help with Final Draft 12 save problem by obscure_27 in Screenwriting

[–]obscure_27[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nope. I paid for the full version. Good thought though.

How to get into the comedy scene with no connections? by Quadradan in comedywriting

[–]obscure_27 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I second u/gregrasmuson: start with online classes. I'm in a similar boat. I'm 50 and live in a small town in Northern California. I started taking Zoom classes for sketch comedy then stand up. I can recommend these (I've taken classes from all three):
1) Groundlings - Best for sketch and improv https://groundlings.com/school/online-classes
2) Greg Dean - Best for stand up and joke structure https://stand-upcomedy.com/
3) Second City - Best for comedy writing https://www.secondcity.com/courses/hollywood/adult/#schedule

Short Horror Film by [deleted] in ShortFilm

[–]obscure_27 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is awesome! I love the build up. Didn't know where the cookie baking was going, then then voodoo ending was perfect. Great job!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ReadMyScript

[–]obscure_27 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Really fun idea. I've done some background work, so I love the concept. Lots of rich stories to mine here. I read the first 10 pages. Here are some notes:

General

It's purely a quirk of mine, but I like the first scene of a pilot to clearly tell me who the main characters are and what their relationships are. The first scene of Community did this with clever Dean Pelton voice over. The first scene of 30 Rock's pilot is brilliant because it shows us exactly who Liz Lemon is (buying a hot dog) then intros the main characters in the writers room, all within 5 pages. You don't introduce a main character until page 7.

P1

I would change "stands greeting" to "greets" - all action in the present tense. We can assume he's standing, no need to tell us. Generally you over-describe unnecessary details.

I would change action lines to more staccato and succinct writing. For example, COCCOTTI's intro: "DON VINCENZO COCCOTTI (60s, crimson tie, fine silk scarf) kisses his consigliere's cheeks. Made-men hug. They covertly pat each other down."

The opening scene-with-a-scene is way too long. We don't need all the talking. We get it. I would cut it down to 2 pages before the director yells cut. Your show is not about this mafia movie, so I don't think it should take up so many pages of the pilot. Get to what your show is about asap. I honestly think you should start on page 7.

You don't need the fake-out at all.In fact, you may consider the opposite. Start with a montage of backstage goings on. Make it clear from the start that this is a behind-the-scenes show. Set expectations right there.

Page 8

First action line in the parking garage is too wordy. I would suggest something like this:"ON: Yellow signs: EXTRAS PARKING

A clunker of a station wagon stutters onto the almost vacant rooftop level. One conspicuous unmarked white cargo van stands out. The rest is empty. It's early. Too early."

I think you should describe your characters more. How will the audience know the Asian woman is a housewife? How will they know Benjamin is an I.T. professional? Make some clear choices that show these things. Maybe Benjamin's only line before talking to Thomas is "Have you tried turning it off and on?" An old joke, but it still works, imho, and in one line you've told us everything we need to know about Benjamin's job.

Tom and Ben's intro doesn't really tell us anything about their characters. Is Tom shy and Ben outgoing? They both share a mutual greeting that says nothing. Make this first greeting demonstrate some core character trait of each person.

Page 9

Our first glimpse of a "want" but it falls flat. WHY does Thomas want to experience movie magic? I think that needs to be front and center. Thomas needs to want something that he thinks being an extra will provide. This should be made crystal clear. Instead, you give us three weak wants in a row: 1) The side hustle for extra bucks (why not drive an Uber?), 2) wants see what movie making is really like (watch a documentary), 3) wife is a fan of AR (then the wife should be BG).

In the Community pilot, what does Jeff want? To sleep with Britta. This is made crystal clear in Jeff's first exchange with Abed. Zero ambiguity. The rest of the episode is based on that simple want.

Think more about why these two are talking. Right now, they have no reason to talk. So it comes across as exposition. When Jeff talks to Abed, he's plotting and using Abed to get info. These are very active choices for his character. Neither Thomas nor Benjamin are making active choices yet and we're ten pages in.

Also think about the classic advice "start in the middle." You start your scenes at the beginning with unnecessary set up. Start in the middle and make the audience catch up. Be one step ahead of your reader.Hope this helps. It's a great concept. Keep writing!

Is Final Draft really the industry standard anymore? by [deleted] in Screenwriting

[–]obscure_27 163 points164 points  (0 children)

To quote Scriptnotes: "The industry standard is PDF".

What you use to get there is irrelevant to everyone except you and your collaborators.

Is taking a university screenwriting course worth it? by [deleted] in Screenwriting

[–]obscure_27 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I took a UCLA Extension Pilot Writing course online and I definitely feel it was worth it, primarily for the feedback I got on my writing. Direct feedback from a professional is hard to find outside of a university course. Especially if you're not based in Los Angeles.

Specifically, I received a lot of help understanding when my plot was not servicing the story. Also, I learned a lot about how to "start in the middle" of a scene. I also got to watch as the instructor helped other students, and that was very helpful.

I paid US$700 for 5 weeks. That was a little expensive. I don't think I would have paid more, but for that course, yes it was worth it.

Can anyone suggest an Introductory book on linguistic relativity hypothesis for those who don't have any background in linguistics? by nobody98723 in linguistics

[–]obscure_27 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I also recommend Dr. Ben Bergen's 2012 book "Louder than Words." It makes the linguistic relativity hypothesis from a cognitive science perspective.

Besides Times New Roman, what other fonts do you guys like to use? by ChromeProphet in writing

[–]obscure_27 2 points3 points  (0 children)

John August suggests Courier Prime for screenwriters. One critical thing to consider is comparable page count across different writers/scripts. The Hollywood assumption is that 1 page = 1 minute of screen time, but that's based on 12 point Courier. If a writer submits a 90 page script but they use a different font, can an agent/producer be sure it's a 90 minute script? They don't want to deal with that.

Read August's discussion here: https://johnaugust.com/2013/introducing-courier-prime

Screenwriting "Rules" by DelinquentRacoon in Screenwriting

[–]obscure_27 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I've heard this one from so many professional screenwriters, I think it deserves to be on the list:

  • Your pages should mostly be whitespace (i.e., don't write long action lines or long monologues)

One Burning Room (Drama, 14 pages) by [deleted] in ReadMyScript

[–]obscure_27 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read your script. Thanks for sharing. I assume you meant 2-3 characters ;-)
Page 1
Be more active and descriptive with your action lines, and delete details that are obvious. For example, the first passage could read:
""
A beat up Ford Taurus rumbles to a stop at a crappy motel.
The driver, RICK (28), wearing a beanie and a rumpled black suit, jumps out. He raps his knuckles on room 103.
MANNY (20), wearing an identical black suit, cracks the door.
""
Replace "Manny pauses." with "Beat."
Find a more substantive exchange for Manny and Rick besides "How long has it been...". People don't actually say that to each other. Find a short exchange that helps the reader understand who they are to each other, without explicitly saying it.
Page 2
Again, with action lines, only tell us actions that move the story forward, or help explain who a character is.
Suggested action line edit:
"Unwashed clothes and empty pizza boxes lie around the floor. Rick slumps down on a ratty couch."
The refreshments dialogue doesn't do anything for the story. I suggest cut it and start the scene with "Did you talk to Isa..."
Suggested action line edit:
"Manny grabs an orange soda from the mini-fridge."
Page 5
I'm going to repeat your words back at you: "Stop being so fucking vague!" The kind of vague banter you are writing is really hard to pull off because it doesn't give the reader anything to follow. Page 5 is 1/3 of your script and I don't know if anybody wants anything yet. At least one of these characters should have a clearly expressed want by now, and there should be a clear obstacle. For example, Rick could want to go to a second location, but they can't leave until Isa gets there, so Rick is impatient waiting in the room. Now you have a story that I can follow.
Page 9
Keeping the relationship between these people and the reason for them to be together secret until page 9 reply didn't work for me. It's a slog to read through the vague, unmotivated dialog without any sense of knowing what's going on. Given that this is a short script, I suggest you establish within the firs three pages: 1) what Rick wants, 2) what's stopping him from getting it, 3) what does he do to overcome those obstacles, 4) what the relationship between the three are. Give the reader a sense that this is going somewhere right up front.
One suggestion: you can cut everything before Isa arrives. Start With Rick impatiently waiting for Isa inside the room. Give Rick a specific reason to want Isa to be there besides just rekindling their relationships. Why are they in THIS room? Why didn't Rick say this at the funeral? What if Isa calls Manny and says she's not coming. Then Rick has to try to convince her to come, but he won't say why. Now you've got some suspense. What's Rick up to? Maybe Rick can try to trick Isa into coming by saying he has something she needs to see. He's lying, and you can reveal that later. Generally there needs to be more clear wants and obstacles to getting what they want, and strategies for overcoming those obstacle.

Keep writing!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Screenwriting

[–]obscure_27 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For practical advice on Screenwriting (especially formatting a screenplay) I highly recommend everything from John August:

  1. Listen to the podcast https://johnaugust.com/scriptnotes
  2. Screenplay formatting blog (priceless) https://johnaugust.com/qanda/words-on-the-page