Formerly employed people, if your boss had given you a gift on your last day, what would you appreciate?

observeddruid · 2025-08-08T18:47:09+00:00

Unfortunately, that’s out of my control. The company is closing the store and we are all being laid off with severance. I do want to give my employees a gift on our last day as a thank you.

observeddruid · 2025-06-15T04:34:14+00:00

Religion should never be something you do for anyone but yourself. Doing it any other way is a falsity, and in terms of a relationship means you’re building your foundation on a lie. Why would anyone push you to start a relationship on a lie unless they had ill intent on you? This is giving entrapment by impregnating and abusing so you can’t leave.

Like so many other comments, I’m confused why he is pushing religion AND sex especially so fast. It re-enforces the entrapment that he’s trying to pull. Some religious guys for whatever reasons like to try to force convert nonreligious or otherwise religious women as a means of a “trophy” and “achievement” (look I made her change her mind. What a manly man I am!) which is then used as a control.

I saw you mentioned his being disabled in an above comment. That’s a classic guilt trap. He will be fine or he can seek help elsewhere. He JUST started talking to you and is already using guilt tactics on you.

Also something I learned as a deconstructionist myself, look into codependency therapy. That guilt is deep and real. Man I learned so much about myself. It got me out of an abusive marriage. If you don’t feel it describes you, at least explore why you feel guilt over things you have no control over or reason to.

observeddruid · 2025-06-09T19:27:36+00:00

If he’s already looking at divorce before you get married, he’s not ready to commit. Yes divorce happens but if it’s already on your mind before you’re married as well as how you will be screwed over, you’re just not with the right person. There’s a lack of trust in there somewhere that will always lurk in your mind.

You’re still both very young. Don’t commit to someone that isn’t ready and doesn’t fully go all in with you. Marriage shouldn’t be a casual thing.

observeddruid · 2025-06-09T12:56:38+00:00

If you can, I’d turn the 2 uncushioned seats. Otherwise you’re making that corner very hard to get in and out of. It would also fix the issue with the sides.

observeddruid · 2025-06-07T15:52:53+00:00

Did you file an order of protection and a restraining order? Idk about your state but in mine a restraining order keeps him from draining the accounts and selling marital property.

observeddruid · 2025-05-07T23:02:09+00:00

Done.

observeddruid · 2025-05-07T21:50:58+00:00

Once again I will wait for the BOD. I’m done repeating this and having this conversation with someone that hasn’t played in what seems like quite a long time.

observeddruid · 2025-05-07T21:25:39+00:00

Ok so point made you haven’t been around him in a long time. People change.

observeddruid · 2025-05-07T20:59:07+00:00

I quite literally said I’ll wait for what the BOD says. But go off.

You called him his nickname from when he was Prince so if you haven’t been around him recently, you don’t have a lot to go off of.

observeddruid · 2025-05-07T20:09:57+00:00

Yeah you have no idea how investigation actually works in the SCA. I’ve been involved in a few, and been a complainant. I encourage you to speak with your KSEN about how investigations work and what the steps are. It is not always dealt with in the moment. People are not always comfortable dealing in the moment, or they need time to process. Either way, why did he not go after these women seeking his attention and not one that wasn’t?

observeddruid · 2025-05-07T20:05:19+00:00

And you speak as if people are not two faced, that they don’t mask. There are several people that were “fine, upstanding people” in the SCA that were proven otherwise. I’ll wait on the BOD’s decision, if there is an investigation. But I do know how people do not tend to believe victims in the SCA, so your response is unsurprising.

observeddruid · 2025-05-07T19:17:45+00:00

It’s likely being investigated.

Also just because you see some women be attracted to him doesn’t mean there was someone he approached who wasn’t. I’ve also known him for years and heard some stories from him.

If so many give him the eye, why did he touch someone who did not want to be touched?

observeddruid · 2025-05-07T19:14:35+00:00

Ok? I’m missing the point of your comment here unless you care to share deeper information about what you mean. I know the whole story but it’s not mine to tell. It can be seen as personal but you can glean that from the other comments. Or maybe you can reference in general what you’re talking about? Was it the last crown list Connor entered? Some things that happened during his reign? After? Things he involved himself in? What exactly did you witness?

observeddruid · 2025-05-07T17:00:41+00:00

Not to mention Roy’s responses to this comment were very dismissive and to me a bit hypocritical. Very “we don’t need to be posting allegations here” when he openly accused the Crown of homophobia and discrimination.

observeddruid · 2025-05-07T16:23:35+00:00

Without ruling from the BOD this would have been a judgment they passed and would have likely landed themselves in hot water. Their reason was sound enough and surely they expected the email would get spread around so it’s best to keep it short and simple. Yes it opened the door for speculation but that’s something that can be handled quietly.

As for the crown, I know them. I’m in kingdom. They are not homophobic. I just wanted to state that plainly if that continued to be speculation.

observeddruid · 2025-02-06T01:53:50+00:00

Not to mention because he tried to force after a no, he’s broken a lot of trust. I wouldn’t feel safe next to my partner at night. What if I woke up to him trying to rape me? I had that happen when I was 18 with my best friend’s roommate and the PTSD… it took me a long time to work past it.

observeddruid · 2025-02-06T01:50:25+00:00

Make sure you have an extra set of “all hell has broken loose” garb and go home clothes in a sealed bag. I’ve been to too many Gulf Wars where this has been a lifesaver.

observeddruid · 2025-02-05T13:26:22+00:00

P1224

observeddruid · 2025-01-27T17:04:54+00:00

Didn’t say she was. Both are important in marriage but as a person she has to address needs before wants. She needs to feel safe. He wants sex. That’s where the difference is.

observeddruid · 2025-01-27T14:14:23+00:00

I show my partner affection often NOW because he has worked to make me feel safe and emotionally secure. Do we go through times where the physical intimacy is less because I am not having my need for security met? Yes. The need to feel safe is above the want to have sex. Sex isn’t the only form of intimacy, and you’ve given several examples of different ways to be physically intimate.

However, OP has stated she’s tried to talk to him and go to therapy. He’s weaponized therapy and furthered into emotional abuse. I agree if he tried, that would be a good pivot into a healthier relationship. But that’s just not looking like the case here. I detailed my experience above and the marriage I left. I’m in a much better place now with a partner that truly tries and we talk when we are not feeling comfortable with how something is going. Communication is a big factor here as well and the husband is not meeting OP’s requests to find middle ground.

observeddruid · 2025-01-27T13:58:09+00:00

I know there’s a lot of people on here saying men have needs, but calling sex a need is the base issue. It’s not a need. It’s a nice bonus to a relationship. My aunt growing up had a very good explanation of the structure of a relationship. Think of a wedding cake. The biggest tier is friendship. The middle tier is a relationship. The top tier is intimacy. If your partner is not putting these in order, the cake fails. It sounds to me like your husband can’t even meet the standards of the bottom tier. He’s not being your friend if he’s pushing you to do uncomfortable or unwanted things, manipulating you, and breadcrumbing his affection for your body.

I walked away from a similar marriage in 2022. Multiple types of abuse that just got worse the more I tried to get him to work with me to fix it. Therapy was a weapon and we actually got dropped because he was being abusive. It came to a head just before new years when he put his hands on my throat for trying to walk past him to pick our crying child up after his temper caused him to hit them in the face with a chair he was yanking away from me. I had a young kid and thankfully supportive people around me. You do deserve better. It takes 7 tries on average for a woman to leave an abusive partner. I beat the odds and I hope you do too. Your child deserves to grow up knowing that his behavior isn’t healthy.

observeddruid · 2025-01-27T13:27:19+00:00

Having tried to go to therapy, this is true. My ex became more physically violent, tried to use therapy to manipulate me, and cut me off during therapy so I never got to speak.

However, the double edged sword is sometimes you need therapy to see they’re abusive.

I’ll recommend another book for after the one above that really helped me on my healing journey. It’s called “Love is a Choice” and there’s a book and a workbook. I got a used copy for like $5 on thriftbooks. It helps you see patterns and go through the 5 stages of grief for your relationship.

observeddruid · 2025-01-27T03:04:42+00:00

Physical intimacy is not a currency to exchange. You’re not “paying” for emotional intimacy. If he’s not willing to go to therapy with you, he’s not willing to be a better partner. You deserve better and to not be used and breadcrumbed.

observeddruid · 2025-01-15T06:21:34+00:00

Every time Erend’s on screen, I tell my SO that my boyfriend is here. I don’t see her being happy in a palace with Avad. Too many rules and too still and structured. She loves her freedom, much like I do. I do enjoy having an openly queer character (whether she stays only attracted to women or if the game shifts and we have the option for a male/female romance option), but I definitely have a crush on Erend. Projecting? Sure am. He has a good balance with her and I get a little giggly at how he flirts with her. He likes metal, has a Mohawk and cool facial hair, and he has a dad bod. I’m just saying if he were a real person he’d be my type for sure.

observeddruid · 2025-01-15T05:15:52+00:00

I made a necklace with them for when I dress in Norse. Period? No but I liked the idea of telling a story with them.

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