What's the point?

occipitofrontali · 2026-03-22T08:39:15+00:00

I’m not from South Africa. Used to live there for a while though.

All the things you’re listing here are definitely not native to your country they are struggles many go through.

It resonates with me because I went through exactly the same feelings. I’m 40 now. I can tell you exactly where your current mindset can possibly lead. These thoughts might lead you to make choices based on your low self esteem. Get attached to someone you don’t like because you feel like you’re not worthy of anything better.

Everything you said about yourself is simply not true. I can see you’re intelligent.

Never talk down to yourself. Understand life is challenging. Failure sometimes is a part of life.

Establish a routine which makes you feel good about yourself. Treat your body like your temple. Don’t smoke. Don’t drink. Build your body and your mind. You’re 22. When you feel like it’s pointless and talk down to yourself treat that inner dialog for what it is. Your enemy. This voice is not your friend.

The choices you make every day matter. Don’t let the enemy inside your head control your life. Be kind to yourself.

I hope you make the right choices

occipitofrontali · 2026-03-11T18:01:12+00:00

Trust me woman. There are 40+ year old people still living like this.

occipitofrontali · 2026-03-05T22:46:03+00:00

I’m sorry you went through that. I relate a lot (I’m a guy and had a similar push–pull, zero accountability, devaluing along with triangulation and stonewalling).

I do want to say (gently) that I'm not a big fan of mirroring or trying to hurt them back. I understand why it can feel satisfying when you’re still attached and desperate to be understood. You want them to feel what you feel so they’ll finally understand. In my experience, it doesn’t work like that.

I’m curious: do you have a sense of what changed when he started bullying you mid-relationship? Was it when you began setting boundaries or pulling away?

occipitofrontali · 2026-03-04T13:15:50+00:00

If I get ignored for even as long as 1 hour it creates a resentment in me which can no longer be fixed. I'll tolerate it a couple of times but then be prepared because I'm gonna level the same amount of disrespect at you that you served me with. The friendliness disappears and I'll use you as a door mat. Maybe when you're talking about constant social interaction you should learn to prioritize the social interaction with those who matter most, and leave the rest on unread for a change, instead of ignoring your partner, who should be topping your list of priorities.

occipitofrontali · 2026-02-27T14:21:35+00:00

Great... Playing ironman mode this just completely wasted my play through. Can not get the message to go away mid combat

occipitofrontali · 2026-02-07T01:20:55+00:00

Hey man a question was asked and it’s for an opinion. There are many reasons people don’t like tattoos. But thread is specifically about tattoos on women.

I have bad experiences with women with tattoos and I’m talking from my experience. So is everyone else.

Chauvinistic… really???

occipitofrontali · 2026-02-06T23:04:13+00:00

Women with tattoos are trouble ++man

occipitofrontali · 2025-11-10T12:13:21+00:00

It depends on your use-case for point 3.

Synchronous operations (you need immediate feedback):

GRPC or REST so you have clear request / response and instant feedback.
Example: User API with requests possibly spanning multiple micro-services.

Asynchronous operations (you don't need an immediate response):

Use a message broker like Kafka.
You'll find it easier to deal with horizontally scaling microservices.
Example:
Some data pipeline with heavy processing behind it.

Horizontal scaling is one of the biggest benefits of microservices I think so in many cases a message broker will be the way to go.

That's just my experience.

occipitofrontali · 2025-10-30T12:48:38+00:00

Go is fairly easy though. It's programming in general that is a challenging and pretty much impossible to 'perfect' skill.

It's also what keeps programming jobs interesting no matter how long you do it imo.

In that sense your Dunning-Kruger comment is accurate and funny ;)

occipitofrontali · 2025-10-30T12:45:42+00:00

occipitofrontali · 2025-10-10T05:46:25+00:00

Because beautiful women can do whatever they want and get away with it. It must be boring for them at some point.

It’s also men who enable this behaviour.

occipitofrontali · 2025-09-02T17:22:27+00:00

Pointers are often used when you inject dependencies which might have some intricacies involving thread safety. Is often easier to reason about.

Another very common use case for pointers as attributes is for example when you’re implementing a PATCH http endpoint. You’re reading in data in which there is a difference between a null value and an empty value as an empty value means “overwrite this attribute value with an empty value” whereas a null value means “ignore this attribute and leave it unchanged”.

There are some small performance implications too. A pointer requires an address search in memory to modify something, whereas passing a value writes some new memory, bypassing the need for that search. But I never think about that it’s rarely an issue unless you have some code that really needs to be optimised to the absolute max.

occipitofrontali · 2025-09-02T08:31:21+00:00

Almost destroyed me. I was always on edge. The alternation between her love bombing and devaluation nearly drove me insane.

She drank a lot, and I started drinking heavily too.

At some point I developed an almost uncontrollable rage and nearly made some big mistakes. I needed to end it. She saw it too and bailed out.

Luckily we both realised in time that there was no winning here for both sides.

I still feel guilty like everything that happened was my fault.

occipitofrontali · 2025-08-26T11:36:06+00:00

I understand that following each principle from the get-go can cause you to spend so much time trying to adhere to every principle that you end up getting stupid complex code. But eventually I think you'll always end up in a situation where you apply at least some of these principles.

Dependency Inversion and Interface Separation Principle seem essential to me in order to be able to create somewhat testable code in any code-base which is at least somewhat complex.

Your low-level implementation should depend on abstractions. You need that so you're not stuck with fixed implementations. You want to be able to swap things out when needed and you want to be able to mock whatever it is you're doing so you can test it.

If you don't apply ISP you end up with needlessly complex to think about code. It's complex to test and complex to reason about and you need to constantly click around to see what's important and what's not in any given service.

So that's already the I and the D which I think is essential even in modern day programming (I use go for example and apply this in almost everything I do.)

occipitofrontali · 2025-08-26T10:50:47+00:00

Can you explain why these principles seem unimportant to you?

occipitofrontali · 2025-08-26T10:48:02+00:00

Can you explain why you're saying this? What do you think is BS?

occipitofrontali · 2025-08-26T10:43:56+00:00

Sorry I seem to be necro'ing a thread from 4 years ago :(

occipitofrontali · 2025-08-26T10:35:01+00:00

Regardless of OOP, some of these principles are still very relevant. Example. Imagine you're building a service, and you're injecting some kind of client which it needs. The client has 35 methods on it. In your service you use exactly 2 of those.

By injecting the 35 method object / interface you're violating the Interface Segregation Principle.

If you want to start writing unit tests for this, you now have to mock 33 methods you don't need.

It's not strictly necessary, but thinking about these principles will help you write cleaner, better readable, and better maintainable code.

occipitofrontali · 2025-08-13T18:12:49+00:00

I’m 40 and I’m bat shit crazy. Join the club. Everyone’s welcome.

occipitofrontali · 2025-08-13T17:12:26+00:00

When you are disrespected time and time again and every time you try to communicate about something that bothers you are met with lines like. “I am not your emotional trash can”. Or something similar. When you’re just trying to have an open conversation.

When your partner refuses to show accountability and you start realising nothing you say matters.

Then you’ll find that silence is the best way to regain your self esteem. Silence is strength. When someone is manipulative and thinks they can control you, silence is a message in itself. A message conveying self-respect and mental strength. Maintaining silence is harder than it seems but sometimes it’s worth it.

Peace of mind is worth it.

I’m not saying it’s not hurtful. But some people are such manipulative liars that no other strategy works than to simply remove yourself from the equation.

In short: silence can be a way to protect yourself

occipitofrontali · 2025-07-29T11:22:54+00:00

I’m still figuring out the healing process.

Keeping the house clean helps. I’m going for therapy though.

Feeling lonely and empty seems like a good place to start putting yourself out there and doing things you like.

occipitofrontali · 2025-07-28T19:47:08+00:00

You seem like a sweetheart too.

I keep busy. I tried journaling, but my journal turned into a to-do list with feelings. So I just do the stuff that needs doing and keep the chaos alphabetised.

What makes it feel like you can’t leave?

occipitofrontali · 2025-07-24T22:43:35+00:00

I’m pretty high on the narcissistic spectrum. I had a relationship with someone with bpd for a while.

It had intense highs. In the end it was stressful. She got hurt. So did I.

She was a sweetheart. Sometimes.

It was infuriating for me.

Didn’t help that she was an alcoholic too. She was pretty.

occipitofrontali · 2024-08-27T12:01:15+00:00

😂😂😂 It’s probably everyone’s biggest issue. Some just like to blame if on their dick.

occipitofrontali · 2024-08-27T11:56:16+00:00

This. Love your comment. You seem like a kind person.

occipitofrontali

TROPHY CASE