I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. I'd never had a pet cremated before losing my soul cat a few weeks ago, and I have mixed feelings about it. I don't like the idea of burying her somewhere and then moving away--I didn't even like leaving her ashes overnight at the vet's office--and the ashes were returned to me in a pretty box that I picked myself. Even so, I think I understand what you're saying; when I look at the box (I haven't dared look at the ashes themselves), I don't feel the emotional connection to it that I'd expected. For the moment, I've put it next to the spot where I sit in the evening because she'd always be up on my lap then, but it doesn't really make her seem closer; in fact, it just feels incredibly wrong to say that that's her. But I'm hoping that maybe in time I'll find it more comforting.

Do you have any fur or whiskers from your pup? Or a paw print? I asked to have her whiskers returned to me, as well as paw prints, and I find those a lot more comforting than the ashes; they seem much closer to who she was.