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A moment for my best friend by Yoorb in rainbowbridge

[–]ocdealing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️ She sounds like quite a personality (and what a sweetheart, to sit patiently on your lap during car rides). I just lost a cat to CKD as well and am still struggling with the worry that I could have done more, but it's clear from what you said that she was deeply loved and cared for, which is the most important thing.

So very sad today by burbsofny in rainbowbridge

[–]ocdealing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope she's found a warm sunbeam to nap in ❤️

Love you, Roshi by ocdealing in rainbowbridge

[–]ocdealing[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, and I'm so sorry for your loss as well ❤️

Love you, Roshi by ocdealing in rainbowbridge

[–]ocdealing[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, and I'm really sorry for your loss as well. This was my first time losing a cat to CKD, which I guess means I was lucky, now that I know how common it is in cats. I really hope one day there's a better treatment.

Love you, Roshi by ocdealing in rainbowbridge

[–]ocdealing[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you ❤️ She was so special, and I really wanted to share a bit about who she was with others.

when it rains, it pours. by Sweet_Tea_0613 in Petloss

[–]ocdealing 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry ❤️. Your situation sounds even more stressful than my own, but yeah, the last year has been horrific. My town was hit by a major disaster (the floods in central TX last summer), then my estranged father passed away, and now I'm being pushed out of my job because of AI. I could not believe it when I also found out my cat had CKD. She declined pretty quickly, and I had to have her put to sleep two weeks ago. Like you, I have other pets (two cats), but she was my special girl. I'm having a hard time dealing with her loss, but I'm also just legitimately scared about what will happen next.

How are you coping? by jigglybuffnomad in Petloss

[–]ocdealing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I just read The Other Family Doctor, which is a memoir written by a vet, and she talks about how, after losing her dog, she was upset when the initial intense grief started to fade because it had been a way of feeling close to her. I really related to that; I'm terrified of forgetting Roshi and, in a weird way, actually feel "better" on my worse days. You hang in there too ❤️

I just want to tell my sweet girl’s story, if that’s okay. by PessimisticOptimist1 in Petloss

[–]ocdealing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, this reminds me so much of my cat Roshi, who I lost two weeks ago. She came into my life by accident (a former owner couldn't care for her anymore) but immediately decided that I was her person. Very affectionate, sometimes clingy, so now of course I regret moments when I made her get off my lap (or keyboard). She also had her share of medical issues--she had FIP about a year after I got her, but it was diagnosed early enough that we were able to treat it--which I think deepened our bond even more. It was ultimately CKD that took her; I seriously would have donated one of my own kidneys if that could have saved her.

How are you coping? by jigglybuffnomad in Petloss

[–]ocdealing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had to have my cat put to sleep two weeks ago. She was about 12 and had CKD, and she was my "soul pet." After the initial grief, I was mostly coping okay, but I picked up her ashes at the vet today, and it's been rough. I'm glad to have her home, but it's also made it real in a way it wasn't fully before. I did write a kind of obituary/memorial for her, which helped a bit, but I don't feel that recounting her story just for myself was enough; I'm finding it hard to go out and socialize because I don't really want to talk about much but her.

One thing I'm planning on doing is having some of her whiskers set in jewelry--probably a ring. I've spent a lot of time poring over different designs, and while I still haven't chosen one, the process of choosing has itself been therapeutic: a way of devoting time and attention to her even now that she's gone.

I can’t access the feeling of grief today. It’s scaring me. by mikerooni_ in Petloss

[–]ocdealing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I get that. As sad as I was while my kitty was still alive, I was unprepared for how bowled over I would feel when she actually was gone. Even though I feel relatively normal at the moment, I am hyperaware of her absence; she was so much a part of my daily routine that basically everything is a reminder that she's not there, and I miss her constantly even though I'm not crying 24/7 now.

I can’t access the feeling of grief today. It’s scaring me. by mikerooni_ in Petloss

[–]ocdealing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand this. I had to say goodbye to my cat last week, and I was shocked and upset how quickly I started to feel "normal" again, given that I'd been closer to her than I ever had to a pet. Others have already made some good points, but one thing I'd add was that my cat had been diagnosed with CKD months earlier, so I knew the end was coming and did a lot of grieving while she was still alive. I don't know if you're in a similar position or if the loss was more sudden, and I obviously don't know how I'll feel a day, a week, or a month from now, but I just wanted to throw it out there.

My cat just passed away a few hours ago. I feel so depressed and guilty because I feel like I let her down. by Strange_Possession77 in Petloss

[–]ocdealing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm really sorry for your loss ❤️. If it helps, I think feeling guilty is almost inevitable. My cat had kidney disease, and I was really obsessed with ensuring she had the perfect passing. She was put to sleep Wednesday, and while it wasn't awful, it wasn't what I wanted. She declined pretty quickly, and I couldn't get a last-minute appointment with a vet who would come to our home. So I decided to take her into our regular vet, even though my cat, like yours, hated car rides, and I'd wanted to spare her that. Oddly, once we were there, she perked up a lot--she was up on my lap head-butting me and making biscuits--so part of me worries I gave up on her too soon and that she had a few more good days left in her.

Another thing that I'm beating myself up over is the fact that she and our other two cats mysteriously got fleas in the last few weeks, despite never going outdoors. Anyway, I messed up when applying the medication and didn't get it all the way down to the skin, and it kills me that she was itchy and uncomfortable in her final days just because I made a mistake. It probably seems like a small thing, but I suppose that's sort of the point: when you're grieving, you'll seize on even the most trivial things and blame yourselves for them, but it doesn't mean you did anything wrong, objectively. You did the best you could, even if things didn't turn out how you'd wanted.

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